Goodbye helper syndrome: How to find yourself again!

You know those people who are always there when the shoe pinches somewhere? You can call them, at night or during the day. They'll help you move, they'll watch your kids... They'll drop everything for you. Listen to you, dry your tears. Laugh with you. Cry with you. They're friends! But very special friends. Or our mothers. Definitely the caretakers. The ones with helper syndrome.

Helper syndrome: Most often mothers suffer from it

Under the also called "Mommy Syndrome" it's the mothers who suffer the most. Maybe this sounds familiar: You give up a lot for your kids and lose sight of yourself in the process.... In the past, more than today. Back when it was normal for mom to run the house... Even when the children already had children of their own and dad had long since discovered golf and other hobbies in his spare time. Few women asked themselves the question: Who am I? And what can I do to fulfil myself?

Adieu Helper Syndrome: Out of the Old Shoes

"All of us, without exception, have learned that we walk in shoes that are no longer usable. The most famous old shoe is: 'I have to earn appreciation. I have to earn love,'" expert Robert T. Betz knows from years of coaching experience. "Most people think they have to please someone else. Or that they are only lovable and perfect when they help others. They aren't! You get to choose: Accept yourself and learn to love yourself. You get to accept yourself. For you have done your best. You are allowed to accept that thought."

Make yourself happy (again)

How do you deal with your feelings? We tend to feel fear, anger, rage and hatred, guilt, powerlessness, grief Loneliness, repressing envy in our bodies. Often we have not been shown how to deal with these emotions. And maybe no one has ever told you that you have everything in your heart to make you happy. You alone! It's never too late to make a change. Put yourself first in your life. Take time to the affirming feeling of your feelings. The feeling that is coming right now, that is showing up right now - don't push it away. Let it be there! Feel it! Feel it! And if tears come now, let them flow. Dare to let your feelings be there more and more and to feel them. Open yourself to it!

4 possible ways out of the helper syndrome

We all know too well how hard it can sometimes be to completely shed your old patterns. Don't set the bar too high, but set yourself achievable goals. A success is a success, is a success! What could be a new strategy for you? We have put together 4 possible steps for you.

1. What am I doing for myself this week? Take 10 minutes every weekend and a calendar at hand, in which you first get an overview of the week. Which day is suitable for sport, for Meditationfor wellness, for a meeting with friends...?
2. Put a notebook and a pen by your bed: write down 3 things every night for which you may be grateful today.
3. Create a Bucket List: No need to have adventurous things on this list if you don't feel like it. But surely there is something you've been putting off for a long time: a trip, washing the car, cooking for your partner, learning a new language...? You can always add to this list. And wait and see what kind of feeling it sparks in you when you have fulfilled the first point of it for yourself!
4. With a simple exercise you may find out for yourself why you prefer to help others and (often) forget yourself in the process. Close your eyes. Ask yourself the question: What does helping give me? Joy? Ask yourself: What gives me joy? Attention? Keep asking yourself the question until you feel that you have found the true source underneath. The core theme. The answer is, for example, self-love. Ask yourself: Where or how can you already Self-love give?

How to think positively again - 3 tips for your new everyday life

There are so many ways to give your everyday life a breath of fresh air. How you are carried through the day with your new positive thoughts. The more you dive into the new you, live it, stand for it, the more impulses you get and your new feeling strengthens. This is how you become the person you want to be. We would like to give you 3 things that can help you to start the day lovingly, to have your goals clearly in mind and to strengthen yourself, think positive thoughts.

1. A morning and evening routine: whether it's just 10 minutes or longer. What matters is that you create your own framework and energy for your day to really create the day you want to live.
2. Write down your goals and visions clearly: this way you will keep your focus and not get distracted by things that are not helpful to your path. Writing down goals and dreaming big automatically activates a solution function in your brain, and your brain will look for a way for you to realize your goal.
3. Consciously perceive thoughts: Gradually create for yourself an inner world and language that is positive, constructive, loving, and solution-oriented, rather than self-imploding with negative thoughts and limiting beliefs to keep it small.

Panacea for Helper Syndrome - Gratitude Transforms Your Life

Have you ever heard of the mantra "I am love"? It helps you to connect with your essence. Whether you're at home or on the road, say the words internally to yourself and feel the connection to the source of love within you. Make it your most important habit to go into each day feeling grateful for all that is. And what may yet come. For gratitude transforms your life and instantly shifts you from lack to abundance. In the energy field of abundance you will attract more and more abundance and even more of what you have to be grateful for.