My child doesn't want to learn: 4 tips for parents

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My child doesn't want to learn: 4 tips for parents

The child does not want to learn. The parents worry or perhaps even become angry and frustrated. However, this negative spiral does nothing to rekindle the child's motivation. In the following article, you can find out what causes a child to refuse to learn and what you as a parent can do to help solve the problem.

Understand why your child doesn't want to learn

Your child doesn't want to learn and you are angry about their refusal to do so? Then take a step back and look at the reasons why your child doesn't want to practise for school at the moment. Children are generally very eager to learn. If they refuse to learn, there are often specific reasons behind it.

There may be problems in the interpersonal area. Does your child get along with teachers and classmates? If there are exclusions or even Mobbing it is only understandable that your child rejects everything that has to do with school. Did you also know that, according to a PISA study one in six pupils is affected by bullying?

Another reason for a refusal to learn can also be underchallenge or Overload be. Find out how you can recognize when your child is overburdened at school here.

Differences in the will to learn: Grammar school vs. elementary school

Your child's desire to learn changes as they get older. Older children and teenagers often show a greater desire to learn than primary school children, as they are aware of the importance of school for their personal future. High school students are particularly ambitious, as Latest studies occupy

In contrast, of course, there is no denying that the transition from elementary school to secondary school is an important developmental step: puberty. This, in turn, is a critical stage of life as far as the desire to learn is concerned. It is therefore not uncommon for there to be a drop in performance, particularly in the 7th to 8th grade, before the will to learn stabilizes again.

In elementary school, the desire to learn results more from a child's natural curiosity. The effects on the future cannot yet be determined. Through praise and recognition, the Motivation of primary school pupils.

Child does not want to study at grammar school

Individual challenges: Why every child is unique

The child doesn't want to learn and the parents are looking for advice in forums or from the parents of classmates ... Exchanging ideas is generally not a bad option. In many cases, you can benefit from the experience of others. However, you should never forget that every child is unique.

The method that increased your neighbor's child's desire to learn may have no effect on your own child. Children cannot be pigeonholed. It is therefore all the more important that you take your child's personality into account in order to develop their Increase motivation to learn.

You know your child best of all: perhaps your child gives up quickly when they fail? If so, you should help them to increase their frustration tolerance and explain to them that failure is part of life. Or maybe your child is over-ambitious and stands in their own way with high expectations? Then it may be useful to work on Self-esteem to work.

"My child doesn't want to learn": Dealing with frustration

The child does not want to learn - this leads to frustration for everyone involved. In the family environment, the refusal to learn often leads to arguments that have a negative impact on the entire family climate. The pupil suffers from the pressure exerted on him or her. But the parents also come under pressure, as the poor grades of their children put them in need of an explanation.

For this reason, you should make sure that the reluctance to learn does not become a permanent topic within your four walls. You all need to distance yourselves from this critical issue from time to time so that the frustration doesn't build up inside. Don't punish your child for their behavior by depriving them of attention or even love, but continue to consciously create enjoyable moments as a family.

Of course, this doesn't mean that you should deny your frustration. If you notice that you're getting angry, find an outlet. Maybe go for a walk around the block before you shout at your child? Or call someone to talk things out? The same also applies to your child, of course: find a hobby that provides a balance to the frustration at school.

The child doesn't want to learn: practical tips

Does your child consistently refuse to study for school? We'll give you 4 practical tips on how to get them motivated.

1. child does not want to learn: create a relaxed learning atmosphere

You probably know it from yourself: clutter in your surroundings makes for clutter in your head. Or can you concentrate when your desk is overflowing with old notes and office supplies? Certainly not. It's the same for your child. So make sure that the desk is tidy and in a calm and orderly environment.

2. child does not want to learn: the right time

Does your child not want to study when they come home from school? Then you shouldn't insist, but give your child a break. The best time for learning varies from pupil to pupil. Some are still in the learning flow after lessons, others need a break first. Go to the individual Need of your child.

3. child does not want to learn: offer support

Don't leave your child alone with their homework, but offer them help. Of course, this doesn't mean that you should do their homework instead of them. It's more about showing interest and providing support. For example, you could quiz them on vocabulary or look at difficult tasks together.

4. child does not want to learn: avoid pressure

Pressure creates a defensive attitude. This is of course extremely counterproductive if you want your Motivate child to learn would like to. Take the previous tips to heart and, above all, try to find out the cause of the refusal to learn. Always offer your child support without making learning an omnipresent topic in your everyday family life.

The role of a learning coach: how professional support can help

Sometimes parents simply reach their limits because they are too emotionally involved. In this case, professional support from outside can help to identify the causes of the child's unwillingness to learn and to develop solutions and suitable learning strategies together with the child.

An Learning Coach has - in contrast to the parents - the necessary emotional distance to view the problem from a neutral and goal-oriented perspective. He gives the Child help to help themselves so that they can benefit from the strategies they learn throughout their school career. Strengthening self-confidence is also an elementary component of a Learning coaching.

Motivational strategies for children: How to inspire your child to learn

1. praise

Your child doesn't want to learn? Then praise is the be-all and end-all! Take note when your child really makes an effort and improves. This also applies if their performance is not yet at the desired level. It also makes sense to be specific with praise. Instead of simply telling your child that they have done something well, you could focus on their perseverance, imagination or similar.

2. believe in your child!

Never give your child the Feelingto have failed irretrievably. Instead, they should learn that you can learn from your mistakes. Show your child that you believe in their strengths. believe. This also applies outside the school environment.

3. equalization

What is your child passionate about? They should choose a hobby that they are passionate about and where they can gain a sense of achievement. These experiences of success in turn strengthen self-confidencewhich has a positive effect on overall motivation - also at school.

4. learning plan

Create a learning plan. This not only provides a good overview, but also prevents tasks to be completed from piling up. Your child can stick a sticker on for each completed task. Seeing how much you have already achieved increases motivation.

Patience and understanding: developing long-term solutions

The child does not want to learn: Here are Patience and understanding from parents is required. As already explained, pressure only creates counter-pressure. In other words: a defensive attitude. Instead, try to respond to your child's needs and enter into a dialog with them. Long-term solution strategies can only be developed if the learning blocks are identified.

Conclusion: The importance of support and positive coaching

Hardly any refusal to learn is due to mere defiance. There is usually a specific underlying cause. Don't judge your child, but listen to them. Offer your help and support, but depending on your child's age, leave the necessary Personal responsibility. If you reach your limits, professional learning coaching can be useful.


The 10 best tips for 
Fun and success in learning

In our free e-book you get 10 tried and tested tipsthat will help you to support your child in learning in the best possible way.
Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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