Everyone knows about relationships that go down the drain. But long before that, there are subtle signs that the relationship is slowly but surely getting out of hand. If you observe carefully and recognize these signs in time, you can bring your relationship back on track. A second point also helps immensely in To have a happy relationship: Avoiding the four deadly sins for relationships. What's behind them and how you can avoid them explains Dr. Stefan Frädrich in this video magazine article.
The four deadly sins for relationships originally came from American psychology professor John Gottman. He filmed couples and assessed their behavior based on micro-expressions - i.e. split-second facial expressions that cannot be controlled. In this way, John Gottman identified four deadly sins for relationships. Dr. Stefan Frädrich introduces them in an entertaining way:
When people grumble chronically, it's bad for their relationships.
If one person constantly criticizes, the other will eventually defend himself. Then he no longer questions or reflects on the criticism, but only defends himself.
When this occurs, the partner wants something that you deny him for no reason - simply to block him.
When chronological contempt or even hatred arises, the pain threshold of the relationship has already been crossed.
What can we learn from these four apocalyptic horsemen in relationships? Dr. Stefan Frädrich knows, "Thou shalt not criticize. Otherwise, don't be surprised if you're regularly turned away or blocked." It also becomes difficult when you make your own happiness dependent on your partner: "Your partner should not be a crutch for you or plug a hole. It's not his job to make sure you're happy. You have to do that on your own."
So what tricks are there to make relationships work? Dr. Stefan Frädrich has three top tips:
Every person has different needs. If your partner expresses a need, for example, if he wants to have his peace, then fulfill it.
Tell your partner they're special.
Dr. Stefan Frädrich
No matter how weird your partner ticks or what quirks they may have in certain situations, tell them regularly that they are special and you are behind them unconditionally.
John Gottman has found that couples who are in happy and stable relationships have a very special relationship between positive and negative communication. "They are at least five times more likely to say positive and appreciative things to each other than they are negative", knows Dr. Stefan Frädrich.
Did you learn some valuable lessons from the four deadly sins for relationships and the simple relationship tricks by Dr. Stefan Frädrich? If so, be sure to watch the video! There's more valuable input about happy relationships waiting for you. Have fun and enjoy!
