Everybody knows relationships that go down the drain. But long before that there are subtle signs that the relationship is slowly but surely getting out of hand. If you observe carefully and recognize these signs in time, you can put your relationship back on track. A second point also helps immensely in maintaining a happy relationship: Avoiding the four deadly sins of relationships. What is behind them and how you avoid them explains Dr. Stefan Frädrich in this video magazine article.
Dr. Stefan Frädrich: "So the four deadly sins for relationships look like!“
The four deadly sins for relationships originally came from the American psychology professor John Gottman. He filmed couples and assessed their behaviour on the basis of micro-expressions - facial expressions that last for seconds and cannot be controlled. In this way, John Gottman discovered four deadly sins for relationships. Dr. Stefan Frädrich introduces them in an entertaining way:
Sin 1: Criticism
When people grumble chronically, it's bad for their relationships.
Sin 2: Defense
If one person constantly criticizes, the other will eventually fight back. Then he no longer questions or reflects on the criticism, but only fends it off.
Sin 3: Blockade
When this happens, your partner wants something that you deny him for no reason - just to block him.
Sin 4: Contempt
When chronological contempt or even hatred arises, the pain threshold of the relationship has already been exceeded.
What can we learn from these four apocalyptic horsemen in relationships? Dr. Stefan Frädrich knows: "You should not criticize. Otherwise, you shouldn't be surprised if you get blown off or blocked regularly." It also becomes difficult when you make your own happiness dependent on your partner: "Your partner must not be a crutch for you or plug a hole. It is not his job to make sure that you are happy. You have to do it alone."
Dr. Stefan Frädrich: "So functioning relationships„
So what are the tricks of the trade to make relationships work? Dr. Stefan Frädrich has three top tips at hand:
Relationship trick 1: Meeting needs
Every person has different needs. If your partner expresses a need, for example, if he wants to be left alone, then fulfill it.
Tell your partner he's special.Dr. Stefan Frädrich
Relationship trick 2: Love unconditionally
No matter how funny your partner ticks or what peculiarities he may have in certain situations - tell him regularly that he is something special and that you stand behind him unconditionally.
Relationship trick 3: Communicate positively
John Gottman has found that couples who live in happy and stable relationships have a very special relationship between positive and negative communication. "They tell each other at least five times more positive and appreciative things than negative", Dr. Stefan Frädrich knows.
Have you learned some valuable lessons from the four deadly sins of relationships and the simple relationship tricks of Dr. Stefan Frädrich? If so, be sure to watch the video! There is more valuable input about happy relationships waiting for you. Have fun!