Update on: 16.09.2024
Emotional dependency can seem like love, but it becomes problematic when you feel you can't live without your partner. Here you can find out how to recognize and resolve it.
Emotions have a profound and varied influence on our lives, especially in love. Emotional dependence is often described as an intense feeling of not being able to live without your partner. However, what may seem romantic at first can develop into a serious problem. While a strong sense of belonging can strengthen the relationship and foster trust, it's important to recognize when this feeling turns into a harmful dependency. Below, we'll explore what this feeling means, how it develops and ways to resolve it.
Emotional dependency is when a person in the Relationship is overly dependent on the partner. In the process, she may even become bondage and immature. The whole thing can develop to the point of complete self-sacrifice.
This often happens when we have a low Self-esteem and are looking for security and support. Sometimes there is also a personality disorder behind it, which causes us to submit emotionally.
If you want to find out if you are showing signs of this and learn more about your personality, we have a tip for you: Take our free personality test! It can help you to better understand your strengths and weaknesses and create an awareness of your personality.
If these people come into contact with a man or woman who has a strong narcissistic disposition, suppression is added to the already existing submissiveness. Narcissists often tend to plunge their partner into an emotional dependency. Through manipulative behavior, they give their partner the FeelingThey feel inferior and portray themselves as the savior in need. They want to be dominant at all costs and can lead their partner to self-abandonment.
Probably the most common reason why the feeling of dependency arises is the aforementioned low self-esteem. Thoughts like: "Without a partner, I'm unlovable and therefore worth nothing" regularly buzz through our heads.
Guilt can also be strong Fear of loss be. They are often past experiences for example from childhood or previous relationships. For example, anyone who was suddenly abandoned by a parent in childhood or by a partner in adulthood without prior notice fears that this experience will be repeated. Efforts are therefore all the greater to keep your partner with you, even if this means giving yourself up completely.
This feeling can also arise when a strong Dissatisfaction with your own life exists. The partner is the only source of joy when friendships or hobbies that make you happy are scarce. And of course you don't want to be deprived of this source at any price.
It's not easy to tell when a strong emotional attachment is turning into a serious addiction. That's why we've put together six signs you can use to test whether or not you're emotionally dependent.
Imagine you are separated from your partner, for example because one of you has to go on a business trip. What triggers this in you? Of course you will feel sad and you will miss him, that is quite normal.
But are you panicking and don't know how to cope on your own? Do you feel completely lost and can't find a single second of peace? happy and laugh? Then this could be a sign.
Let's be once honest: It's really convenient to hand over decisions and just let the other person do it. Your partner takes care of everything and you don't have to worry about Worries do. However, it becomes critical when you don't make any decisions at all and really leave everything to your partner. Do you stop expressing your opinion and only speak according to your partner's wishes in order to please them?
A healthy Jealousy is part of every relationship. After all, your partner belongs only to you and no one else. But there is a clear line to be drawn here with morbid jealousy. If you try to monitor every step of your partner, ask him about every little detail and check his phone, it has nothing to do with healthy jealousy.
The partner often plays an overriding role. We usually prefer to spend the evening with him rather than with a few acquaintances. Nevertheless, social contacts outside the relationship are important, because they also represent a kind of safety net.
Do you leave all your friends behind and devote yourself solely to your partner? Then no one will be there for you if your relationship goes to pieces. You are well aware of this and your Fear from rejection increases. As a result, your dependency continues to grow.
Emotional dependence is often accompanied by the feeling of never being good enough for your partner. That's why you're always looking for recognition. It should give you your Uncertainty and compensate for your low self-esteem.
You're doing everything you can to maintain your relationship and that's a good thing. But the question is, from which Motivation out of it? Is it because you love each other and want to stay together forever? Or is it rather because you don't know how to go on without your partner?
If you are emotionally dependent on your partner, this can be a huge burden for him. He knows that he is the center of your life and therefore responsible for your happiness. This comes with a lot of responsibility, which can lead to him withdrawing more and more. This in turn makes you feel insecure and you try all the harder to gain his affection. In doing so, you may be constricting him, which will only make him more distant.
Emotional dependence often gives sufferers the feeling of being in a specially created bubble of Security and to be sure of happiness. But what you have actually created for yourself is a prison. You lock yourself up and close yourself off from all that life has to offer by focusing exclusively on your partner.
It's time for you to finally break free and get back to a self-determined life find. That doesn't mean you should give up on your relationship. Find a healthy balance. The following nine steps will help you to resolve the feeling:
Look inside yourself and think about whether you are really happy. Is your partner really good for you? Are you destroying yourself with your dependency and losing yourself completely? Admitting this to yourself can be painful. But this realization is crucial for your future path.
So far, you have completely sacrificed yourself to your partner. But what about you? What desires do you want to fulfill for yourself and what makes you - besides your partner - really happy? Reflect on your own Needs and what is good for you.
You have now exactly in front of your eyes what you want from life and how you would like to shape it. Now you have to take the first active step and break out of your self-created prison. Gather all your courage and free yourself from your rut.
Are you determined to change something, but don't quite know how? Focus on your strengths. You can find out what these are and how best to develop them with the help of our personality test, for example.
The will to change something is unfortunately not much use to you in the long run if you keep telling yourself that you are not worth anything without your partner. Your thoughts strongly influence your actions. A negative attitude mindset will prevent you from your development. Positive thinking is one of the most important points to increase your self-esteem.
You can do this by using all the negative thoughts into something positive. Keep reminding yourself that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Regularly remind yourself that you are worth something, with or without a partner.
To see yourself like this acceptIt is not easy for many people to accept who they are. Yet this is precisely the key to a happy and healthy life. satisfied Life. If you are at peace with yourself, this increases your Self-confidence enormous, because you have finally recognized your own value. You are no longer dependent on the recognition of others and have learned to be proud of yourself and your achievements.
Until now, your partner was the center of your life and you let social contacts gradually fall asleep. But having your own circle of friends is important so that you have someone to talk to besides your partner. In addition, your friends offer you support if, for example, you have had a fight with your partner or you have even broken up.
Are you afraid that your emotional dependency is the result of a personality disorder or trauma? Then it can be very difficult to free yourself from this situation. Don't be afraid to tell yourself professional help for example with a therapist. Together you can get to the bottom of the cause and work through it.
Your partner will also offer you support if you confide in him. The basis of a good relationship is communication. So don't keep your problems to yourself, but try to talk about them. Your partner will understand you.
Some things can't be sorted out overnight. You go through a process in which you also develop personally. You can't do it in a hurry. Be patiently with yourself, the better the results will be.
Although emotional dependence and narcissism are different psychological concepts, they can occur together in relationships. This dependency means that one becomes overly attached to another person. Narcissism, on the other hand, describes a personality characterized by excessive self-love and a strong need for admiration. People who are emotionally dependent are often attracted to narcissistic partners because they seem to be able to fulfill their needs. However, this can lead to an unhealthy relationship.
Love is usually characterized by care, respect and mutual support, while emotional dependence is based on a strong need for the partner's approval and attention. In healthy relationships, there is a balance between independence and connection. If there is too much dependence, this can lead to an unbalanced dynamic in which one person is too dependent on the emotional approval of their partner.
Emotional dependency can lead to a variety of problems in relationships, including imbalance, insecurity, jealousy and a need for control. The dependent partner can make their own happiness highly dependent on their partner's approval, which can lead to emotional instability. It is important that both partners are able to fulfill their own needs while finding support in the relationship.
The consequences of emotional dependency can be manifold, including
Overcoming an emotional dependency takes time. It requires a Further development of your personalitywhich is not completed overnight. The first step in the right direction is to recognize that you are emotionally dependent on your partner.
Are you really living each day the way you want from the bottom of your heart? Or do invisible forces seem to keep you from making your goals a reality? And do you perhaps frequently encounter difficulties with your fellow human beings who always show the same patterns?
In our new More Confident Through Coaching" Webinar our coaching experts Christina & Walter Hommelsheim explain to you how you can gain more self-confidence through their unique coaching method and thereby attract positive changes into your life. In this webinar you will also learn:
You finally want to live your life in a self-determined and courageous way and Vision come true? Then register now for our free webinar and learn from the best in the coaching industry how to boost your self-esteem in just 1.5 hours.
