Gereon Jörn: Find your natural self-worth

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Gereon Jörn: Find your natural self-worth

How would you define the term "self-worth"? Potential awakener and personality developer Gereon Jörn knows the answer: "Self-worth means: I feel valuable." And do you know in which situations most people develop a particularly high self-esteem? The expert reveals, "For example, many people feel valuable when they've just had a sense of achievement, are loved, do something good for someone else, or contribute in some way."

But is this really about self-worth? Actually not, because all these things are based on our performance or the reactions of our fellow men and are thus rather afflicted externally. Strictly speaking, therefore, it is not a matter of self-worth, but of external value. Gereon Jörn: "The highest Self-esteem we have between the time we're born and the time we're two. I call it the natural self-esteem. It's only later that we think of ourselves as having to do or accomplish certain things in order to be valuable and therefore lovable."

Why the natural self-worth is given in early childhood? Because parents, holding their child in their arms for the first time after birth, feel unconditional love. But later, in the course of upbringing, we often lose our natural self-esteem. Gereon Jörn knows: "Most psychotherapists, psychologists and child psychologists have to deal in therapy with the problems and Beliefs that happened to her patients in the first six years of life."

Misconception 1: You have to do something for your self-worth

Imagine you are praised and feel especially valuable at that moment. It doesn't sound so bad at first, but there's a catch: you make yourself dependent on other people. You feel especially valuable because you have achieved a success? Then you make yourself dependent on your performance at that moment. Gereon Jörn: "From the age of two we think that we have to do certain things in order to be valuable. I'll give you a sad example: We live in one of the richest industrialized nations in the world, and yet in Germany we have ten-year-old children who take their own lives because they've been sitting out of school. Why? Because they are afraid to go home." According to the expert, until the age of twelve a child cannot distinguish whether criticism is against the child's actions or achievements or against the child as a person.

Misconception 2: You must own something

The assumption that someone must possess something in order to be valuable is of course also a misconception. Gereon Jörn refers to this as a modern hamster wheel: "I have to do certain things to be something in order to get something. This thought is widespread. But I would like to invite you, starting today, to take a different path, namely the path of saying: 'I am something. And because I am something, I do something. And by the way, I get something.' The moment you see yourself as something and therefore do something, it always comes from the heart. But if you do something to be something, then you're just running after it again. Because that is again a form of foreign determination. But Self-worth doesn't start on the outside, it starts on the inside."

Misconception 3: You must have something

You know what it's like? A relationship breaks up and suddenly you feel worthless. You've been doing a good job for 30 years, but then your employer has to declare insolvency and sack you. You go to the job center, take a number and suddenly you feel worthless. Gereon Jörn: "Why should someone who has a job be more valuable than someone who doesn't? Why should someone who lives in a penthouse apartment be more valuable than someone who lives in a one-room apartment? Why should any person be worth more just because they own other things?" Get rid of the thought of needing any material goods to be valuable. Because that thought is just plain wrong.

Find natural self-worth

Gereon Jörn reveals: "I'm happy when the audience applauds after my performance, but I don't take it personally." The experienced expert also has valuable practical tips for you. For the first one, you'll need your smartphone or another device with an integrated diary. Gereon Jörn: "Set up a daily appointment for yourself called 'I am valuable'. That way, you'll regularly remind yourself of this important phrase. Also set up a new start screen with the welcome text 'I am valuable'. Fill your head with the belief and make sure that phrase goes into your head over and over again."

For the second tip, you'll need colourful sticky dots. Stick them everywhere - on your mobile phone, your notebook or the dashboard of your car. Every time you see one of the dots, you remember the phrase 'I am valuable' and subconsciously program yourself with it. Over time, the message burns itself into your head. Because one thing is clear: You are valuable - regardless of what you do or own. Gereon Jörn: "No matter how we handle banknotes, they always retain their value. Wherever a banknote is or whatever it does, it does not become worthless, even if we trample on it. And even if other people trample on us, the same is true for us. We are valuable. Tell yourself that as often as you can, because it's your life."


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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