Letting go of love: How to overcome this difficult hurdle

Reading time 8 minutes
Letting go of love: How to overcome this difficult hurdle

You love your partner and yet you want to leave him/her because you can't shake the feeling that your journey together is over? Just because a person still means a lot to you doesn't mean that he or she is the perfect partner at your side. Letting go of love - that probably costs you a lot of courage and overcoming right now ...

Maybe you are in a situation right now where you realize that you are no longer happy. But that doesn't mean that the love has faded away. You're stuck in a quandary and don't know what to do next. Do you still want to hold on to the Relationship and deny you happiness? Or will you find the courage to let your partner go so that you can both find your unconditional happiness?

Admittedly, this is not an easy decision. And it's even harder to actually let go of the love. We would like to help you with this and give you valuable tips on how you can manage to let go of a loved one.

Letting go of love: Why is it often so hard?

If you still love your partner, it is of course anything but easy to let him/her go. Why would you let go of someone in your life that you are still attached to? Heart hangs so much? And that is precisely the problem: love is simply incredibly strong. It is one of the most intense emotionsthat we humans can feel and often overshadows everything.

In addition, there is often the power of the Habitespecially when you live together. You see each other every day, have a common daily routine and are an integral part of each other's lives. To suddenly tear out such a big part is of course not easy.

Maybe you both are even dependent on each other - also emotionally. You simply need your partner, he/she gives you support and you don't really know what to do with your life without him/her.

let love go

Why on earth would you let go of love?

Everything has limits, even love. You can't force it, and you certainly shouldn't try to maintain it at all costs. We have summarized a few points for you below, by which you can recognize that it is time to let go of your partner.

  1. Love comes only from you and your partner simply cannot return it.
  2. You have different values that you simply cannot reconcile. This always leads to quarrels.
  3. Your future plans look very different and you can't find a compromise you both can live with.
  4. You can no longer trust your partner, e.g. because he/she has lied to you about something for a long time or maybe even cheated on you.
  5. You feel unsafe around your loved one because he/she is sometimes unpredictable, becomes aggressive or violent.

9 signs it's time to let go of your love

Letting go of love - that's much easier said than done. This is not only because it is incredibly difficult to let go of your partner. Often we don't even realize when it's better for us to let go of the relationship. This is because we are so emotionally involved in it that we simply don't recognize the clues. To make sure that doesn't happen to you, we present nine signs that show you that it's clearly time to let go of love.

1. you have developed in different directions

Especially if you came together at a young age, it is not at all unlikely that you will go through different developments. Not only your desires and NeedsBut also your personalities are developing and maybe at some point all this just doesn't fit together anymore. In order for both of you to be truly happy, you need to admit this to yourselves and seriously consider letting go of each other.

2. let go of love - you do not feel safe

Insecurity can show itself both physically and emotionally. If your partner gets physical with you, a line has clearly been crossed - that goes without saying.

Emotional violence, on the other hand, is not quite so easy to recognize, because often those affected think, "It's not that bad." Do you feel like you're always on very thin ice when you're with your partner? Do you constantly Fearthat he/she might be angry with you, even though you haven't actually done anything at all? These are clear signs of emotional insecurity.

3. he/she sucks you dry

An balanced relationship consists of give and take. But that is not the case with you. You give and give, but nothing comes back. You put all your energy into the partnership and the situation is incredibly draining on you. At some point, your energy is simply spent and you have to ask yourself if you really want to go on like this.

4. you apologize for him/her again and again

Your partner keeps behaving in an impossible way towards your family and friends. On the one hand, you feel uncomfortable, but on the other hand, you always find an excuse for him/her. "He/she doesn't mean it." "He/she had a bad day today." "He/she just misunderstood." Well, do you recognize yourself here?

Of course, you should always stand by your partner and support him/her - but only up to a point. Your loved one cannot assume that you will always apologize for him/her and that he/she can do whatever he/she wants. This puts a strain not only on you, but on your entire relationship.

5. you turn into another person with him/her

When you are with your partner, you cannot be yourself. You have to pretend and steer the situations so that no quarrel arises. If you behave normally, there is always a danger that everyday situations will escalate. Letting go of love is then perhaps the best solution.

6. better let go of love: the bad times prevail

You're always arguing, annoyed with each other, and secretly prefer to spend time alone rather than as a couple. Where is the sense in that? Deep in your hearts you still feel love for each other. But the whole thing is no longer purposeful. The few happy moments simply don't outweigh the negative situations.

7. you cannot rely on him/her

Every partnership is based on trust. You support each other and are there for each other. Is that absolutely not the case in your relationship? Then you are missing a safe haven, where you feel comfortable and salvaged can feel. It always vibrates something Uncertainty because you can't rely on your partner to have your back.

8. he/she does not respect you

Mutual respect is one of the most important pillars of any relationship. If this is not given, then you face an enormous challenge. How can you live together in harmony if you do not take each other's boundaries seriously and are not interested in how the other person is doing and what his or her wishes and needs are? Letting go of love is then often no longer necessary, because if you honest it has long since evaporated.

9. you keep thinking about a breakup

At the latest, if you keep thinking about how life would be without your partner and you like these thoughts, it's time for a Separation. Often you have already reached a point where you no longer love him/her from the bottom of your heart.

Letting go of love: 6 tips

You have decided: Letting go of love is the right way to go. But how are you going to do it? Don't worry, we won't leave you alone during this difficult time. These tips will help you finally let go of love.

1. seek the conversation

Even if it is difficult, talk openly with your partner. Once you've gotten over yourself to talk openly about the issue, it's official, so to speak, and letting go of love will be easier for you. Maybe your partner sees the situation the same way and you decide together that it is better to go separate ways - even if you still love each other. Of course, this will make things much easier.

2. let go of love - be realistic

Love sometimes clouds our vision and we fail to see the most obvious things. But at least try to look at the situation realistically. Is the relationship really good for you? Are you unsure where you stand right now? Then talk to your closest confidants. How do they view your relationship from the outside?

How have you changed since you started dating your partner? Do you seem unhappy and less joyful about life, or have you thrown your former dreams overboard? Let us help you open your eyes.

3. remind yourself why it does not work

Even if the negative moments predominate, there are always beautiful situations that make you forget all that. But do they really outweigh the negativity? Don't be tempted to romanticize your relationship when you know there's really no reason to.

We humans tend to idealize people who are no longer part of our lives. In doing so, you only hurt yourself. You know better. If you are sure deep inside that letting go of love is the right way, then there is a reason for that.

4. devote yourself again to the things you like to do

One fear that letting go of love often triggers is the feeling of being unsupportive. Especially if you've been together for a long time and shared an apartment, a breakup leaves a big hole - not only in your heart, but also in your everyday life. Numerous habits fall away and you may not really know what to do now. You feel lost.

You don't have to be ashamed of that, because that's how countless people feel after a breakup. Let this Fear Don't let love stop you from letting go. Rededicate yourself to your hobbies, go out with friends and finally meet the nice colleagues who have been inviting you for a long time! Our webinar will help you to find the necessary Self-confidence to develop to go through life as a strong single again.

5. let go of love: Allow yourself time for yourself

Selfcare is incredibly important, especially in emotionally stressful times. It helps you focus on yourself and your needs. Take the time you need to prepare yourself emotionally for the big changes that are coming your way. It won't be easy, we don't want to kid you about that. It's all the more important that you allow yourself this time for yourself and focus on the things that make you happy.

Selfcare addresses your body and your mind equally. Do something Sports, if you enjoy it, take walks, read a good book, watch your favorite movie or get comfortable in the bathtub.

6. stay strong

If the time has come and you want to cancel the sails, then remain steadfast. Don't get carried away with supposed compromises that aren't really compromises and don't get lost in wishful thinking. You made this decision for a reason and you know that letting go of love is the best thing for both of you. So stay strong.

Letting go of love - this is how you do it

Letting go of love - this is probably one of the most difficult things in life. You will probably struggle for a long time and wonder whether this decision is really the right one. If you have strong doubts, then our Relationship test help to provide clarity.


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Only 4 minutes
Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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