Making Friends: How to magically attract positive people

Reading time 8 minutes
Making Friends: How to magically attract positive people

Everyone needs friends and companions to stand by them in good times and bad. What would we be without people by our side who motivate us, are happy for us and listen to us when we need it most? Good friends don't judge us when we make mistakes. They give us advice when we ask for it, without manipulating or taking advantage of us. True friends do not expect anything in return, put aside their own demands and accept us as we are.

This does not necessarily mean that friendships are always harmonious. On the contrary, different opinions can lead to conflicts or discussions from time to time. The difference is that even if you have a different opinion or make a mistake, your friends will stand behind you unreservedly. They are understanding and would never intentionally hurt you. With good friends, you can discuss without arguing. Even if they have different opinions, friends accept and appreciate each other just the way they are.

Making friends: This is why we long for friendship

Shared adventures, experiences and memories strengthen friendship. But even if you spend several weeks or months in different places, friendship continues. As soon as you see each other again, it feels as if the last meeting was only yesterday. Out of sight, out of mind? Maybe this saying is true for fleeting acquaintances, but not for deep friendships. Because you can count on a true friend at any time, and neither time nor space is a barrier. Separation stand in your way.

Of course, deep connections do not develop on their own, but need to be nurtured regularly. Every relationship means work in a certain way. For a loved one, however, you are willing to take this work upon yourself. So be there for your friends whenever they need you. Celebrate their successes with them. Stand by them when they're down and build them up when they're down. While it may not always be possible for you to be physically present, there are many digital ways to be present at all times today.

5 tips: How do I make friends?

Friendships make your life more colorful, more cheerful and happier. The only catch is that true friendships are very rare. And finding really good friends is not that easy. However, once you understand how to recognize potential friends and how to find them, you'll find it much easier to make new friends. So here are three practical tips to help you magically attract positive people and bring into your life those who are good for you and enrich your everyday life.

1. raise your bar

Are your friends by your side even when you are really miserable? Can you trust them unconditionally? Are they happy about your successes without jealous or being begrudging? No? Then you're setting your friendship bar too low. Friendships require compromises here and there, but that doesn't mean your closest confidants should be disloyal, untrustworthy, or out for their own gain. Don't tolerate people in your immediate circle who don't have your best interests at heart.

Many of us maintain friendships because they have lasted forever or because they are Fear not to make any new friends. But that is nonsense. Only when you raise your standards and make room for other people around you can you form relationships that make you truly happy. Don't let anyone block you or influence you negatively. Create an environment with positive people who will push you forward. You deserve to have fulfilling relationships, and your time is too valuable to waste on people who aren't well-meaning to you. So raise your bar! And at the same time, be the best friend you can be to others.

2. visualize your friends

Surely you know the TheoryYou're the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most. This means that your best friends and you are on a similar level. You have comparable ideas about life, same hobbies and interests, probably even similar high or low income levels. Right? So if you want to get a lot out of life, you should make sure that your friends have big plans and visions too.

Therefore, imagine exactly what a person would have to be like to become your new best friend. Which character traits would distinguish him? What dreams and future wishes would he have to have? How would he prefer to spend his free time? Visualize new friends as specifically as possible, because only then will you know what kind of people you are actually looking for. Once you know who to look out for, you will automatically meet them much more often.

3. go on the search

You don't make new friends by sitting at home and waiting for them to ring your doorbell - unless you visualized your mailman in the previous step. So ask yourself where the people you've imagined are staying and visit those places. Do you want friends who are sporty, active and sociable? Then sign up at the soccer club or dance school. You love good stories and want to share this passion with new friends? Then go to the cinema, theatre or musical more often.

By hanging out in the right places, you increase your chances of meeting the very people you're looking for. Often, people who share similar values are similar. So keep your eyes open, go to the right places and strike up conversations with likeable, positive and open-minded people. You'll find that you'll magically attract positive people this way, and soon you'll have fulfilling friendships that truly enrich your life. Asking the other person questions is also a way to express interest and pave your way to a closer friendship.

4. allow proximity

If the chemistry between you is right, then there should be a feeling of familiarity from the beginning. Open up, allow closeness and after some time of acquaintance also talk about intimacies, weaknesses, grievances and Disappointments. That makes you likeable and creates closeness. Be just as ready in a friendship, Admitting mistakes and apologizing. Openness and honesty should be very important values in a relationship as well as in a friendship.

5. build friendship: balance give and take.

In between, ask yourself what you would like to do to please your friend or how you can help him. But do not forget your Needs. Because in the long run, a friendship is most stable when everyone gives and takes. Sometimes the other person's time is limited and you may find a way to help your friend out.

Surely you also have common interests! Maybe you'll prepare a special afternoon for him or her under a certain motto...

The 5 most common mistakes: Why can't I make friends?

Making new friends is probably harder for most of us as we get older than it was in childhood. The lightheartedness to approach other people without ulterior motives is simply no longer there. Maybe you're afraid of embarrassing yourself? We would like to show you the five most common mistakes why you don't make friends and also make clear to you that this doesn't have to have anything to do with you.

  1. Existing circle of friends: It is not uncommon that many of us seem to have already found his firm circle of friends in the school time or afterwards. Therefore, it has nothing to do with you if there is no increased interest in currently expanding this. Many adults have a fixed social context, e.g. family and job, and are therefore rarely in situations where they could meet new people at all. 
  2. The progressive Digitization has our Communication Skills reduced even further in recent years. Many people today find it almost alienating when others start talking to them in a pub. Good old petty small talk has all but died out.
  3. Little confidence: Trust in other people seems to be dropped to be. Some even suspect ill intent or pure self-interest in another person from the outset when contact is attempted. You may think, "Could she just be taking advantage of me?" Or, "Am I a rebound?"
  4. High expectations: Many people have a wishful idea of what their perfect friendship should look like. These sometimes high expectations represent an additional hurdle.
  5. Shifting priorities: Depending on what age you are at the moment - but many prefer to focus on their career and invest all their time in professional advancement. Social life often falls by the wayside.


It sometimes sounds easier than it is in everyday life: But try to free yourself from the thought that it always has something to do with you that you don't make friends. Perhaps you will take a piece of paper and a pen and write down which values are important to you in a friendship: Authentic communication, trust, openness, humor, honesty.... What else comes to mind? And, do you already live these values or may you take the first steps to bring them into your life?

Trust that the people who fit you will also find their way to you. A friendship should feel easy and familiar! With this inner mindset, you will surely find friends quickly.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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