Five phases of a relationship: How to master every challenge

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Five phases of a relationship: How to master every challenge

The spark jumps immediately and an everlasting love develops, in which both appreciate each other. That is the dream of every relationship. But for whom does that correspond to reality? Once the rose-colored glasses are taken off, small or even big challenges creep in again and again. Everyone goes through different phases of Relationship.

This also includes trouble in paradise. But that doesn't mean you're not meant to be together. Every couple goes through different phases of a relationship, all of which bring their own unique problems. And for all of them there is a suitable solution!

What are the phases of a relationship?

Typically, every Relationship five Phases:

  1. Infatuation
  2. Realization
  3. Disappointment
  4. Stability
  5. View

Couples who have mastered them all together, nothing can break them apart so quickly. They have been together at various low points and have overcome them as a team. This welds them together and makes the highs seem even more beautiful. Couples who know the phases of a relationship and understand when they are at which point can deal much more easily with the challenges they all face.

The individual relationship phases that we will present to you in a moment should not be seen as the measure of all things. Basically, they run through every partnership, but they are not always the same length. Often, individual partners experience them shorter or longer than the other. So it's quite possible that your sweetheart is still wearing rose-colored glasses while you've already taken them off.

How long you stay in which stages of a relationship is up to you. There are couples who don't make it through all the stages because they realize they're not right for each other or they're emotionally immature. Every relationship is unique, which is why it is very difficult to determine how long the individual phases of a relationship usually last.

infatuation phase duration

These are the 5 phases of a relationship

But now we've beaten around the bush long enough. So what are the five phases of a relationship? How do you know which one you're in right now and how do you best master it? We have the answers!

1. infatuation: when the butterflies flutter

Every time you even think about your partner, you have the feeling that hundreds of butterflies are on the way in your stomach. You get all warm, you grin inside yourself and can hardly wait to see your sweetheart again. Hardly a moment passes when you don't think of him/her and believe that every second without him/her would be a waste of life.

Your otherwise so dull everyday life suddenly goes quite easily from the hand and you almost burst before loud happiness hormones in your body. Also estrogen and testosterone shoot through you in this phase, which is why you spend a lot of time together in bed as a newly in love couple. In this first of all phases of a relationship, you focus primarily on the commonalities that you and your partner have.

You overlook small flaws for the time being and also tend to avoid conflicts. You can't imagine arguing with your sweetheart. Enjoy this initial phase of your relationship! Here you create the basis for a solid partnership, which ideally lasts until the end of your days.

2. realization: the rose-colored glasses fall

After the euphoric phase of infatuation, in which you spent every free second with your partner, it is now good for you to have some time for yourself. You realize that you've been neglecting your own life lately and you're trying to get back to your new life. Routine with your partner with your old familiar, orderly everyday life. You now look at things a little more neutrally and realize that your sweetheart is not completely free of flaws after all. A slight disillusionment sets in.

You wonder if your partner is really the right one for you or if you were completely blinded by infatuation. You also don't pay as much attention to him/her as before and start criticizing him/her. In this second of the phases of a relationship, many couples break up.
But this does not have to happen to you! Everyone has little flaws and that's perfectly okay.

It is quite normal that you simply did not perceive some things at the beginning. This does not mean that your partner is a fraud. If you were to stay in the infatuation phase permanently, it would put a lot of stress on your body because of all the hormones that are being released. So it's actually positive that you'll eventually take off your rose-colored glasses. Now you have a realistic view of things and can build a stable foundation for your relationship.

3. disappointment: different views clash

Numerous individuals believe that their personal ideas of a perfect relationship are universal. However, this is not the case at all, and as soon as they realize this, the following occurs Disappointment on. Do you feel the same way right now? Then we welcome you to the third phase of a relationship! You are noticing more and more differences between you and your partner and this is upsetting you.

Certain actions or character traits offend you, even though your partner does not mean any harm. You think that if he/she doesn't change, you won't get along with him/her forever, because you will always be disappointed or hurt. Your sweetheart sees it quite differently, because it was never his/her intention to hurt you. Therefore he/she sees no reason to change and a power struggle breaks out. You argue, reproach each other and this throws you off track.

In the third phase of a relationship, you have to learn to Needs Communicate clearly. Your partner cannot read your mind. You are responsible for your own happiness, but you need to be open about what is important to you and what bothers you. Keep a calm and polite tone and do not bombard your partner with wild accusations.

4. stability: the relationship comes to rest

You have accepted that you cannot fundamentally change your partner. The question now is: What will happen to you? Are you drifting apart, are you just not connecting anymore, and are you thinking more and more about what it would be like without the other person? Many couples catch themselves in this penultimate phase of a relationship thinking about other men or women or even cheating.

Others however acceptI know that every person is individual and that small conflicts are no reason to let go of the love of your life. You have a long journey behind you and have already mastered so many things together. Do you really want to give all that up or are you ready to invest in your relationship and let it blossom further? This is where work is needed on both sides, because a partnership thrives on mutual give and take.

5. insight: steps towards each other

Your mind is racing. You realize that your partner is a true enrichment for your life, even if he/she is not perfect. Who is? You get closer again and learn anew how important you are to each other.

Now you have reached the point where true, deep love comes into being. You build on what you have in common, plan ways you would like to go together and accept each other with all your rough edges. The future belongs to your togetherness.

Your journey through the stages of a relationship

If you know the phases of a relationship well, it will be much easier for you to understand your own feelings and also your partner's patterns of action. You know that it is quite normal that the initial infatuation disappears at some point, otherwise you would not be able to build a deep relationship that can survive all the low points. Once you have mastered all the phases of a relationship, a partnership based on deep feelings and utmost trust is waiting for you. That is exactly why it is worth the effort.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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