How Resilience not least in Richard de Hoops life, the Dutchman explained at the speaker night at the Volksbühne am Rudolfplatz in Cologne. Resilience, or psychological resilience, is namely the ability to cope with crises and use them as an occasion for development by drawing on personal and socially mediated resources. "As a young boy, I found it fascinating that some people - despite enormous setbacks - were still able to function well. I am convinced that resilience is one of the most important success factors in our time. To build your Fears to overcome. For people and for companies. There is so much pressure these days, speed and changes. With the development of technology, we should actually have more free time! Is that so? Less."
Over the past few years, Richard de Hoop has interviewed managers, top athletes, sick people or people after accidents precisely on the subject. His interview partners all gave him the following answers:
If you internalize that, the expert says, resilience can be an airbag for you. "We humans are confronted with an event, occurrence or incident. Thoughts come to us about it, both conscious (you can think about it and analyze it) and subconscious (cultural background). We then convert our thoughts into a feeling. This can be boring, short-tempered or nasty. We see this in the behaviour of the other person. And the behaviour always has an effect on you and your environment," explains Richard de Hoop.
Setbacks like "I've been dumped," "I've been laid off," "I'm broke" - they happen to you and you can't change them after the fact. But what you can change are your thoughts. And when you change them, a different feeling and a different behavior comes.
What do people who are resilient do?
We just find it difficult to apply these aspects in our daily lives. Apparently, we have to suffer a serious setback before we can live so fulfilled. "I remember my experience very well: it was a Friday night. My wife was shopping with our daughter. I had made myself comfortable in the armchair. At 9:30 p.m., the doorbell suddenly rang. When I opened it, there were two policewomen standing there. They informed me that my wife and daughter had been in a serious traffic accident in which our girl died. I held on to the stairs. I walked apathetically through our apartment..."
"As a family, we stuck together and worked on our resilience. Today we are happy again - and proud of our daughter. We are grateful for the 20 years we spent together with her. I have been left with an invisible scar from the experience. Because I was ripped open once inside and patched back up. I'm proud of that scar. Because the stitches are made of friendship, love and optimism. Probably many of us carry an invisible scar like this. Every time I touch that scar, I realize how vulnerable we are."
Vulnerability is so important, Richard appeals. But we are rarely allowed to show it in our society. "At our daughter's funeral, I was singing. All of a sudden, I was overcome with the need to hug my wife and son tightly and show myself more vulnerable than ever before," he shares candidly. Vulnerability is the lever that helps us build our resilience. Have the courage to overcome your fears. Then really beautiful things happen! Then you are also more and more able to change your thoughts. Only you can make your own world a little bit more beautiful.
You can accomplish so much by changing your thoughts! Determination does not come alone when we dare to look through the eyes of our children. If we can never unleash our talents, if we are never really there for each other. "I am convinced that if we ever turn our thoughts around, overcome our fears, endless new possibilities open up," says Richard de Hoop. "Every step helps to create a world worth living in for all of us. Together we create a bright future - that's my truth!"
