Can you remember the moment when you consciously decided to love yourself and accept yourself as you are? No? Then it's about time. Because you can only lead happy relationships and a fulfilled life when you are at peace with yourself - says Robert Betz. Why this is so difficult and may not work for many of us, the Transformation Therapist.
You lived for a long time in the dependence of your parents, in which you had no power.Robert Betz
The successful coach, speaker and seminar leader is an expert in transformation and personal growth. He is sure that the reasons for our behaviour have their origin in our childhood: "As a child you subconsciously have Statement of Faith ...internalizes the idea of not being lovable. This came about because you lived for a long time in dependence on your parents, in which you had no power whatsoever" says Robert Betz.
According to Robert Betz, the quadruple dependence of childhood lies in physical, emotional, mental and financial dependence. The expert describes childhood as a time of powerlessness and dependence that shapes many people well beyond their childhood and into old age.
Robert Betz about childhood beliefs
Because of your dependence, you were not free as a child. The expert reveals: "Even in the best of homes, you are not free because you cannot make decisions on your own. That is also completely okay. But you have to realize that this time is stored in you and that you have learned basic thoughts that you may still carry within you today. These thoughts control your entire well-being and discomfort.
Robert Betz also knows that in his childhood each of us heard deeply pejorative thoughts about life, which he still remembers today. Surely one of the following phrases will sound familiar to you: "Life is unfair. In life you get nothing for free. Life is not a picnic, not a musical request, not a pony show.
These very beliefs determine your daily thoughts and actions. They are characteristic of what you think about yourself and life. Robert Betz: "The results of our thoughts are often pressure, stress and a lot of unhealthy feelings. This is the basis for high blood pressure, slipped discs and many other negative things."
Robert Betz: "New thoughts are yours Solution!“
In order to break out of the negative mindset, you should first of all be aware of your thoughts. The second step is to check the truth of these thoughts. And in the third and last step you should rethink the thoughts of your childhood. Robert Betz: "You are free to rethink about yourself as a person and your past."
A small example: If you think you have made many mistakes, you might as well open yourself up to the thought that you have done as well as you could or knew in every moment of your life. At the same time, this also applies to others. Your father, your mother, your partner - they all always did it as well as they could or knew. Robert Betz: "Today you might do some things differently, but back then you weren't ready. Maybe you weren't interested in being creative or loving yourself then."
The expert calls this process a decision of peace. He reveals: "A great part of self-love is 'I am ready to look at myself anew and open myself to new thoughts, for example, the thought: "I have always done my best. And if you allow yourself this, you will allow others to do the same."
Learn to love yourself
In this way you begin to accept yourself, to love yourself, and to witness and prove this love to yourself in life practice. Robert Betz: "As a child you did everything to get love, recognition, attention and appreciation from your parents. You adapted and tried to fulfil expectations. And it is no misfortune that we had to earn the attention of others. But when we go from adolescence to adulthood, we no longer need outside attention."
From now on you can give yourself everything that your parents had to give you back then: attention, perception, recognition, confirmation, appreciation, praise and love. Only if you succeed in this can you have healthy relationships with others. Robert Betz: "The decisive lever lies with you. Show yourself that this child that you were is highly lovable. You have a heart that can love. Write down what you want from a partner. And then apply those points to yourself. Give yourself everything you want your partner to give you. Feed yourself with love. You have everything within you. Develop a relationship with yourself."