Boosting self-confidence in kids: "You're just right the way you are!"

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Boosting self-confidence in kids: "You're just right the way you are!"

Strengthening self-confidence in children - the topic has never been as present as it is today. Children are exposed to constant comparison. This begins even before kindergarten age: Who could walk and talk first? Which child shines with his or her motor skills? Later in the School then deals with topics such as grades, athletic performance and clothing.

Of course, parental pride is by no means something reprehensible. However, there is a line with pressure to perform that blurs very quickly - usually unintentionally. Children who feel loved only when they perform at their best or look pretty grow up to be deeply insecure adults.

We humans are social beings. We want to belong in order to feel safe and protected. For children, this is even more true. If a child feels that he or she is supposed to be different or can't do certain things as well as others, this can lead to decreased self-confidence. Your job as a parent is to empower your child emotionally. There are various ways to achieve the goal of "strengthening children's self-confidence".

9 Signs Your Kid Has Low Self-Confidence

Before we get into the tips on how to build self-confidence in kids, you should first know the warning signs that indicate a lack of self-confidence in your child. As the term implies, self-confidence means having confidence in your own personality and abilities. In children, the foundation is laid within the first six years of life.

But even after that, self-confidence can be strengthened or shaken. The latter happens mainly through bullying and exclusion in the school environment. The reasons for which children are bullied are manifold. Unfortunately, it is mostly about outward appearances or achievements that the child is not able to fulfil.

Self-confidence boosts kids - these are the 9 signs of lack of self-confidence:

  1. Your child speaks pejoratively of himself: "I'm fat," "I'm clumsy," "I'm too slow," "I suck at school," etc.
  2. Your child avoids certain activities for fear of failing.
  3. He is visibly uncomfortable in the company of other children.
  4. Your child is very shy and speaks quietly or not at all to others.
  5. He or she cries quickly or reacts very impulsively.
  6. Your child is constantly comparing himself to other children.
  7. Often the statement comes that it would like to be someone else.
  8. Your child is literally starving for attention and recognition.
  9. Your daughter or son does not like say nofor fear of rejection.

If you already observe any of the above behaviors more frequently in your child, you should take action.

Pay attention: Take your child seriously!

As a parent, you know your child best of all. If you sense that he or she is suffering from low self-confidence, you should find out the reasons. The best way to do this is to talk to your child. However, children are not small adults and therefore the approach of trying to communicate at eye level would be wrong and overwhelming.

However, child-friendly communication does not mean that you take your child less seriously! Rather, it means approaching your child's concerns sensitively so that he or she opens up to you. A good way to do this is to have an evening ritual together where you talk about the following topics:

  • How was school / kindergarten today?
  • What's your experience?
  • Is there something you'd like to tell me?
  • What was nice today?
  • What wasn't so good today?
  • Why were you uncomfortable today?

Important: Try not to exert any pressure! Give your child the opportunity to simply talk freely and listen attentively. In this way, you show your child that you take his or her concerns seriously. Show sympathy and compassion:

  • "That was not okay for XY to tease you."
  • "I hear you."
  • "You're allowed to say no if you don't want something."
  • "You did good."
  • "Where in your body are you feeling the anger/fear/sadness right now?

Then open up possibilities for him or her or work out a solution together on how he or she could react the next time. In this way, your son or daughter will feel much more empowered and that you are aware of his or her feelings.

Depending on how old your child is, you can arrange the evening ritual in different ways. For younger children, it is a good idea to sit at the bedside in the evening and let your child tell you about his or her day. Then read him a story to bring the stressful topics of the day to a close.

With older children, it can also be an evening walk where you talk to each other. The theme of "self-confidence strengthens children" depends largely on the appreciation in the parental home.

Self-confidence strengthens children Give your child age-appropriate responsibility

Self-confidence grows through mastering difficult tasks. Give your child the opportunity to have positive experiences. Sure, you have the responsibility to intervene with reckless ideas. Put the brakes on Personal initiative However, you can't completely exclude your child's risk. How can they learn to trust themselves if you immediately stop any perceived risk?

Give your child household tasks, such as setting the table or helping fold the laundry. It does not matter if the child does everything right. The important thing is that he or she feels needed and included. Therefore, hold back on criticism. Praise your child when he or she has done something well. Young people are allowed to go shopping, cook or help in the garden on their own.

Your child should also be allowed to make decisions within the framework of his or her age. For example, let them choose their own clothes - adapted to the season, of course. Pants and sweater don't match in color? Be that as it may: the experience of autonomy and Self-efficacy is important for children. Those who are always dictated to and feel immature do not build up self-confidence.

Self-confidence strengthens children: mindfulness

Loving rest rituals are valuable and important for children. They provide support, alleviate fears and strengthen the bond between parents and child. How about for example Mindfulness exercises? Children who learn to be mindful in the present moment are usually proven to cope better with their lives.

Self-confidence strengthens children: the best methods of mindfulness

  • Children's yoga to fall asleep (book for children from 3 years)
  • Children's meditation (from Laura Malina Seiler)
  • Massages
  • Fantasy Journeys

Try what feels best for your child. Offer all of the above mindfulness methods. Please do not impose any particular method, this would boycott the desired effect. Furthermore, be careful not to hold the relaxation ritual for too long - no matter which of the above rituals it is. Depending on the age, children usually lose the Patience.

About the fantasy journeys: You can, of course, make up a story yourself. If you are not so creative, there are alternatively numerous children's fantasy journeys as CD and audio play. You will also find them on YouTube.

About massages: massages for children are not to be confused with medical massages, which are designed to loosen muscles. Rather, it is about relaxing touches, so that your child feels safe and salvaged feels.

Tip: It is best to combine a massage with a fantasy journey. A quiet massage without talking is usually too boring for smaller children.

Self-confidence strengthens children: self-reflection of parents

It's perfectly natural to want to protect your child from all the dangers in the world. However, overprotection has exactly the opposite effect. Your child should be full of self-confidence to master his later life. As hard as it may be, you always need to let go of a piece in an age-appropriate way. Ask yourself: Am I transferring my fears to my child and thus weakening his self-confidence?

The latter is almost never done intentionally. Almost every mother and father often projects their own fears onto the child. This is human and can hardly be avoided. However, it is important to recognize it in time and to pause. Is your worry justified? Then protect your child. Is it your own irrational fear? Then jump over your shadow and give your child space.

It is important not only to preach self-confidence, but to actively model it! Is your child very reserved? Then show him that it is neither bad nor dangerous to approach other people in an open and friendly way. Do you find yourself criticizing yourself a lot and constantly comparing yourself to others? Then it is not surprising that your child adopts these behaviors.

Self-confidence strengthens children: It starts with you - make the beginning!

Self-reflection can sometimes be painful, but it is the first step to change. If you find that you yourself suffer from a lack of self-confidence, you should work on it. Ask yourself what you don't like about yourself. mindset You can change the way you behave to make your child feel more secure. If you manage to gradually bring about a relaxation in yourself, your offspring will notice it first and foremost. Because the little ones are equipped with super sensitive antennae! . A practical way to do this is to use our Greator App.

Certified coaches will support you in your personal development towards a free and self-determined Lifestyle. Discover destructive behavior patterns and learn to get rid of them. You will be given daily exercises to reinforce what you have learned. Always remember: Your behavior shapes your child's self-image enormously. This should be a great motivation for you to work on your own emotional issues.

The topic "self-confidence strengthens children" is extremely complex. If you want to delve deeper into the matter of personality development, you can find more information here:


The 10 best tips for 
Fun and success in learning

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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