Learning self-love. How does it work? What is the reason that we often do not love ourselves? Where do the doubts come from that prevent us from being happy? And most importantly, how can we learn self-love?
We would like to give you the answers to these questions in today's article. But before we get to that, we would like to take a closer look at where the lack of self-love actually originates.
The origin of a lack of self-love often lies in our childhood. Every child interprets a situation differently. If the events accumulate that the boy or girl feels that he or she has not completed a task to the satisfaction of the parents, the belief set "I am not good enough" quickly arises. We constantly had to improve, conform and were not allowed to show ourselves as we really are. This childhood experience led some of us to experience self-love in small or no portions. Instead, we sought approval from the outside. How? Maybe you did everything you could to please your teachers? What was that like for you?
In this context, our parents had no malicious intent. These are also only humans and often due to their childhood imprints (especially the post-war generation) of Angst led. They were afraid that their children would fall by the wayside and not develop fast enough to succeed in everyday life. Our parents always had the focus on things that needed to be corrected in their eyes and not on what the children were already able to do.
Here are a few thoughts that went through the parents' minds
Parents have thus succumbed to the system of comparison. As soon as this system settles in the minds of the children, they begin to compare themselves with their classmates. From this point on, it is no longer their own thoughts that count, but what the other children have and are. (e.g. the newest and hippest clothes).
"Comparing yourself to others blinds you to the original you are."Laura Malina Seiler
The truth is: Not everyone is equally good at everything. That's why it's not possible to get the recognition you want in all areas. And yet we often choose strategies with which we seem to secure recognition and attention.
At school, for example, it is the class clown who drives the teachers crazy with foolishness in order to conceal the fact that he is not at all well. He wants to be seen and maybe just given a hug. The problem: as soon as we put on masks or slip into roles, we lose the connection to our true self.
On a deeper level within us, however, it is bubbling. Somewhere inside us, the anger and frustration is building up. We want to be seen. Seen for who we really are. We want to express ourselves and be accepted for who we really are.
The goal is to tear off the mask of social conventions in order to finally be able to live authentically. But often we don't succeed because we are used to being judged. And that's why we often wear this mask even in adulthood.
Don't believe everything that people tell you. For you alone can give yourself self-love. This cannot be taught to you by others. In order for you to succeed, you must learn to put yourself first in your life again.
Regain your basic confidence. Recognize and accept your individual self-worth as a human being. Because this is the foundation for self-love. Without a strong self-worth, you will always remain other-determined.
As soon as you have found your basic trust again, you can unleash your inner power and develop your full potential. Your task is therefore to examine your own image of yourself.
You have to distinguish between self-perception and external perception. As a rule, we take the opinion of our fellow human beings too seriously.
But who knows you better? Your environment or is it rather you? So don't let the outside world dictate your value as a human being. Because you are the designer of your life and determine your destiny yourself.
So you can learn self-love as soon as you have your inner child ...accept. When you accept who you really are, you can be free. In order for you to succeed, it is important that you not only criticize yourself, but also praise yourself.
Below we have prepared a few exercises for you to learn self-love.
1. a bag of peas
Take ten peas and put them in your pocket. Now pay attention in everyday life to what you have done particularly well. This can be an achievement (e.g. a good grade in your studies) or an emotion (e.g. laughing with friends).
As soon as you have done something that was praiseworthy in your eyes, remove one of the peas from your pocket. You will see that you do dozens of things a day for which you deserve praise.
2. the happiness diary
For this exercise you need a small notebook. Every evening from now on, write down ten things in this notebook for which you deserve praise. Ask yourself what went particularly well during the day.
What did you do well? Did you have nice moments that brought a smile to your face? Did you surround yourself with people who were good for you?
3. create magic moments
Magical moments in life not only make for great memories. They also leave wonderful feelings in our hearts that bring a smile to our lips. We can create such "magic moments" ourselves.
Therefore, think about four activities that you would like to do in the next month that are good for you and your heart. This could be a hike in the mountains, a visit to the masseur or a cozy evening with friends. These exercises are guaranteed to help you learn self-love and bring more happiness into your everyday life.
"Daniel, only with good grades will you get ahead in life. Only if you have a well-paying job will you be happy." The words from his parents had burned deep into Daniel's consciousness.
In school he was an overachiever. He graduated from high school with a 1.0. In his studies, he was top of his class. He then took up a well-paid job in a large corporation. For the moment, he believed he had achieved everything that was really important in life.
After a few years, however, Daniel noticed that sadness, exhaustion and anger were spreading through his heart. He thought back to the days when he would lie lightheartedly under his covers with a flashlight and dream of drawing comics.
But you couldn't make money with comics. At least his parents had made that more than clear to him in the past. School and studies were the safe way. And what had become of Daniel? He was an over-fitted opportunist who constantly held back his opinion.
More years passed and Daniel just felt empty, drained and burnt out. He just couldn't take it anymore. The young man was at a crossroads in his life.
He went to his parents and told them that this was not the life he wanted to lead. The money, the studies, the good job - nothing helped him to be really happy.
And that's why Daniel pulled the ripcord. He quit his job and applied to a small comic studio. The manager was enthusiastic about Daniel's talent.
Daniel earned far less money in the future. However, he now constantly had a smile on his lips. His heart was filled with happiness. Learning self-love was a long way for Daniel and yet he had made it in the end.
In this article you have learned how to learn self-love. You have learned that self-love is the foundation to unlocking your full potential. We would like to support you in achieving this goal. And that is why we have prepared a very special gift for you today. We would like to invite you to Greator Visions Challenge invite.
The Visions Challenge supports you in aligning your life with the things you really want to achieve. It helps you to follow your heart and your deepest needs. You can get your access to the Visions Challenge now for free. by this link secure. We wish you a lot of fun and hope that you will go a self-determined and fulfilled way.