Have you ever said you were fine when you weren't? Probably not just once, right? But why? Are we afraid to show ourselves? Are we uncomfortable talking about the feelings? And how would you really feel if you stopped playing nice and got your way? If you chose to be yourself. This topic was dedicated to Dr. Stefan Frädrich at the LIFEfest in Munich.
In 1993, the founder of GEDANKENtanken attended his first lecture in medicine. Because that was his clear goal. He looked after the mortuaries, watched dissections with a passion. "I was convinced of what I wanted to do!", Stefan Frädrich remembers this time very clearly almost 30 years later. Six years later he was officially allowed to call himself a doctor. Another year and a half later, the LIFECoach hung up his job. "Medicine stunk for me. I wasn't having any fun, I was disillusioned, I'd made a mess of my relationship, I wasn't doing any more sports - I'd missed my real goal," he says.
Maybe you know such situations too and have you ever wondered if you are on the right track? Then pay attention: Take a moment for yourself. Can you answer the following ten statements in the affirmative?
"The vast majority of people are in the statistical range," Stefan clarifies. Say: Everything is ok, it runs. And there are a few people who are very far up and down. "These questions pointed out to me that something was wrong. I, on the other hand, hit a major life dead end after graduating." For the first time, the best-selling author dealt with the term "depression", a widespread disease that affects every 4th woman and every 8th man. Stefan Frädrich describes depression as a colourful mixture of different conditions. One factor, he says, is lifestyle. "Take a journey to your principles and honestly ask yourself what makes us humans happy and successful here," he recommends. "I love what we at GEDANKENtanken are facilitating here at LIFEfest: There are 10,000 people sitting here right now alone who are interested in how to live a brilliant life - and many more are interested!"
According to Stefan Frädrich, there is a system with which one can build a new life in order to achieve one's own goals. First, each of us may return to the source of our habit and interrupt the flow of our thoughts. "If you put garbage into people's thoughts, only garbage can come out. There are so many great thoughts we can give to others," Stefan inspires, drilling further, "Do you have an environment that gives you common sense, or not?"
Today, speaking is his profession. Back then it was, "Stefan, you talk too much. Shut up!" It wasn't until he was 30, he says, that he realized this was his path. "I think we should be allowed to start giving kids a stage for their skills in schools. Instead, performances are directly graded and often taught: 'You can't do this. But I say, those who can technically do the representing are not the ones who have anything important to say." Even at school it becomes clear that you don't meet the requirements.
Stefan Frädrich cites self-distortion, caution, and over-fitting as other factors in why you're not being yourself. "If you tend to do this, then you are constantly looking at what others can do. You don't look at your strengths, you lose focus on your self-realization, and yet you don't notice that these people also have quirks," the coach has found time and again while working with clients. What happens? You conform, distort, perform, and pant after some outside goal. We run through the world and are never enough for ourselves. Is this the right drive?
Instead, a big problem pops up: Missing the target! "Why don't you reach it? Because in your 30s, 40s or 50s, you're still going for parental approval. But that's how complete chaos happens," Stefan predicts. Ask yourself: Who am I? Why am I in this world? What are my weaknesses and strengths? "Once you figure out who you are, you can look for your goals along your path. Then you will get into your flow! Remember: If you fight, you fight against something. Goals from outside only irritate you. Cancel them and let go! Embark on your path and many things will happen by chance!"
When people walk through this life, they get to learn who they are first and foremost, and then make the best of themselves. But if you only look at the outside world, then you will not find your strengths. You have to go inside, you have to know what your values are, what your personality structure is, what your dreams are, what makes you tick, what your goals are. And, take the time to do that, to find out who you are!" Celebrate your self-realization, one step at a time. Maybe Stefan's 7 tips for your younger self will help you:
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