"Why Goals Are Bunk - and How You Can Achieve Them Anyway."

"Do you have goals? Then forget them! Instead of happiness and success, they bring frustration and failure.
We lose ourselves and end up on the hamster wheel of imagined duties."
Dr. Stefan Frädrich


Are goals really nonsense? Greator founder Dr. Stefan Frädrich knows: We all have wishes and dreams. But why do we often find it so difficult to achieve goals?
Because targets often miss the mark
Because goals often do not suit us
Because behind goals there are often very different wishes and needs
Well, that's not going to work ...

Learn in the free online seminar with Stefan his most important insights, tips and tools from 20 years of coaching experience:

1. How to recognize and avoid typical goal traps - personally and professionally
2. How to use the goal compass to align yourself internally and always find your direction - no matter how difficult your circumstances are
3. How to avoid distractions in life, eliminate chaos and manage crises
4. How to find yourself and go your way
5. How you can easily achieve your true desires, dreams and goals

"My New Book."


Stefan's new book: "Why goals are nonsense - and how we achieve them anyway".

Top coach and best-selling author Dr. Stefan Frädrich reveals in his new book how we follow the power of our inner alignment and thereby achieve our goals as if by accident - with tips and tools proven thousands of times in his coaching sessions.

He analyzes clearly, deeply and humorously and with many surprises: Who are you really? How do you avoid life traps and master crises? What should you do, what should you leave alone? And how do you align your inner compass of goals in such a way that meaning, path and goal coincide? Because if you do, you will follow your true destiny - full of energy and joy of life.

"The target is in the way."


About Stefan Frädrich

Stefan Frädrich, MD, is one of Germany's most successful coaches and most popular speakers. He has achieved many goals himself - but has often taken a wrong turn along the way: Before Stefan founded GEDANKENtanken (today Greator), he studied medicine and worked as a doctor in university psychiatry, became a business economist (IHK) and worked in the management of a medium-sized textile trade. He worked as a coach on television (WDR, Pro7, SAT1) and as a freelance presenter, wrote 26 guidebooks on various topics, including bestsellers. He invented the popular motivational mascot "Günter, the inner pig dog" and developed "Non-smoker in 5 hours", probably the most successful German non-smoking seminar.

For twenty years, Stefan Frädrich has been developing and organizing events, seminars, coaching sessions, shows and programs for personal development, leadership and business - online and offline. His passion: presenting complex contexts in a logical, understandable, entertaining and inspiring way - and thereby making a difference.

"Why Goals Are Bunk."


Why goals are nonsense

Have you ever achieved goals? And which ones did you miss? Welcome to the club. Few things are as normal in our culture as being aligned with targets. School grades, income, body mass index. Behind them are desires: success, freedom, attractiveness. And behind them, needs: Recognition, autonomy, wanting to be loved. So let's define where we want to go. If we achieve what we set out to do, everything is okay. If we don't, we're missing something, and we respond with new goals: better grades, more income, a tighter stomach. Wanting more is always possible. In the job anyway: turnover, quality criteria, working hours. Key figures everywhere that have to be achieved because they coordinate and align the company. How else? And when our souls ache from time to time, we need spiritual goals: more mindfulness, more closeness, more adventure. So we book yoga classes, make appointments with our partners and fly off on vacation. It still fits into our busy lives.

But instead of happiness and contentment, we often achieve the opposite: we end up on the hamster wheel of imagined duties without really getting where we want to go. We feel the desire for substance and tranquility, but have no time for it. The calendar is too full. So close your eyes and get through it. What must, that must.
Some manage to function like this for decades. Others slip into crises, from which they seek ways out: Antidepressants, astrology, dramatic life changes. At some point, everything has to make sense. Still others flee forward: they attend motivational courses, feel their breathing, become spiritual.

The goal: to develop the personality. Somehow we have to become even better, to adapt to our goals. As we are, we are not enough. So we have to work on ourselves. Once we have finally found a new sense of purpose, we quickly cast it again in concrete forms and visualize our desires: dream house, dream partner, dream body, millions in the bank account. The vicious circle closes and everything starts all over again.

Let's get one thing straight: I am a coach by conviction and passion. A life without personal development is not a good one in my eyes. I also set myself goals time and again, and the majority of them I achieve. Nevertheless, it is obvious: This system is crooked. Somehow it never quite works out, because we too easily end up somewhere out there instead of inside ourselves. The younger we are, the easier it is for us to play along. No wonder with the long to-do list: Partnership, children, career, self-realization. But the older we get, the more we differentiate ourselves. We sense who we are and who we are not or no longer. From years of experience. So why pant any longer? The partner is sitting on the sofa or is already history, the kids are fine, the job is done, we've made it. And now? Is there more? Or maybe less and deeper for it?

Instead of goals, the focus is on meaning. Although it should have been there from the beginning.

When targets miss
So let's start with the construction errors of goals. Because we know how to achieve them anyway: set a goal, plan your path, commit to the goal, act focused, work hard and persevere! Lose five kilos? No problem: change your diet. Less sugar, less alcohol, more greens. Sport, too, of course. And the project begins: minus one kilo, minus two, minus three. Of course, it's not quite that easy. The pizza calls out, "Eat me!" A glass of wine would also be fine. And sometimes we would steal children's ice cream. No matter, we hang in there. Minus four kilos, minus five, done. And what comes next? The pizza still calls out, "Eat me!" And we answer the call. After all, we've reached our goal. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long for minus five kilos to become plus six.

Hello, yo-yo effect! Goal achieved and yet failed again.

What the hell is happening? Only those who know their destination will find the way, as the saying goes. Isn't that true? The truth is more complex. Because more important than the goal is the behavior that leads there. In this case, it's the diet. And anyone who has enjoyed eating pizza and ice cream for thirty years may be able to suppress it for a while, but not permanently. The habit is stronger. Accordingly, change must come at a different level. Pulling ourselves together for a few days is not enough if we want to maintain our new behavior. But then it's not about the goal of losing five kilos, but about who we want to be. The goal only distracts from this question.

So: Who do we want to be? Or at least should be? Probably someone who doesn't like it when the belt tightens. Someone who eats when they feel hungry and stops eating when they're full - and not when the plate is empty. Someone who likes to exercise regularly in the right doses, without needing a fitness app to do it, because the body signals anyway that exercise is good for it and how much of it. If we become such a person, our weight will be right by itself. It is the logical result of the right inner program - independent of numbers. The goal is then irrelevant, the path becomes the goal.
So why don't we just do the obvious right thing? Because food also fulfills other functions: It comforts, for example, or distracts. Which raises the questions, where and from what. Frustration? Stress? Boredom? It also tastes good. But do you really have to go on a diet for a few seconds of pleasure? Or chronic diseases later on? What other sources of happiness are missing? Whereby also many slim ones make constantly diets. Something is always missing for the dream figure, although only in one's own head. Maybe because it's not about the figure at all, but about the feeling of not being enough. Or about the desire to control. Now the path is no longer the goal, but the goal is only in the way.
What it is really about
This striking and yet very common example shows what lies behind it: some kind of spikes or motors that sit deeper. Even when we are no longer aware of them due to distraction, they drive us. The entrepreneur scales his business to still show it to his father, even though he has been dead for years. The mother of two takes refuge in sexless pettiness to avoid sexual and professional competition. The lovesick abandoner clings to his ex because he is too shy for new women. But instead of untying the underlying knots, the front yard is planted, growth goals are defined, or muscles are exercised strictly according to plan in order to appear strong, at least on the outside. In this way, goals become crutches of creative avoidance. We run away from ourselves instead of towards ourselves.

I suspect resistance. Can't people just enjoy entrepreneurship? And love beautiful front yards? Or cool biceps? Sure you can. It's all okay. As long as they're free actions, done without reactance or constraint, because it's about the action itself. You can and should love what you do. Eating delicious food without counting calories. To be able to do without mortifying oneself. Rushing from project to project. Gardening with dedication. Or love to work out. But then it's about loving the thing, not about achieving goals.

Well? Curious now? Then I look forward to meeting you in the online seminar - or as a reader of my new book!

Your Stefan Frädrich

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