Have a happy relationship: How to make your togetherness last

Reading time 8 minutes
Have a happy relationship: How to make your togetherness last

There are couples who seem to be just perfect for each other. They have a picture-perfect relationship, never argue and value each other incredibly. Their life is almost like a love movie and you start to wonder what your partner and you are doing wrong, because it doesn't feel like a happy relationship anymore.

One thing up front: no relationship is perfect, even though it may seem that way. Remember, you only get a glimpse into the lives of these couples and have no idea how they both interact when no one is around. However, just because there are little disagreements from time to time doesn't mean that the relationship isn't a happy one.

But what then makes a happy relationship? Let's take a closer look at that together.

What makes a happy relationship?

Love is not luck. You don't meet your perfect match completely unexpectedly and you're in love for the rest of your lives like you were on day one. Love is work, and that's the secret behind relationships that last for decades.

Whether your partnership becomes and remains a fulfilling one depends on yourselves. Basically, anyone can have a happy relationship if both are willing to invest something. You know, every interpersonal relationship thrives on a healthy relationship of give and take. This applies to various areas, eight to be exact.

10 rules for a happy relationship

A happy relationship and its 8 pillars

Every happy relationship is made up of different building blocks. They all need attention so that happiness can really remain a permanent guest with you. There are eight pillars that support togetherness and we will now present them all to you in detail.

1. communication

Most conflicts are based on a lack of communication, this is no secret. That is why it also marks the first important pillar for any happy relationship. If you do not talk openly with each other about things that move you, or are of the opinion that the other person must know what you want, conflicts are pre-programmed. Without communication, you cannot resolve these conflicts and a painful Separation then eventually knocks on the door.

But that doesn't have to be the case! Open conversations are the be-all and end-all. But always remain respectful, let each other finish and listen intensively.

2. honesty for a happy relationship

Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, and that is exactly what makes us who we are. We learn from them and come out of the situation stronger. Maybe your partner won't like what you did, but hushing up or covering up the mistake is the wrong option. "Lies have short legs" as the saying goes.

If your deception is discovered at a later time, the conflict that arises from it will be all the greater. After all, you lied to your partner and committed a major breach of trust. So be honest from the beginning and explain quite openly how this situation came about. Your loved one will show understanding if he/she can relate to the situation.

honesty is also needed when things about your partner bother you. Don't keep it bottled up, just say it out loud. How else is your partner supposed to know that you don't like something and look for a solution together with you? But be sure to remain constructive and do not become reproachful or even insulting!

3. independence

When you enter into a relationship, you naturally spend a lot of time together. But do not forget that you also have your own lives, independent of each other. Do not give up your friends, hobbies and interests for your partner. You do not have to subordinate yourself completely to the relationship. What is needed is a healthy balance.

Of course, time together is important. After all, if you didn't like being together, you wouldn't be a couple. But if you give yourself up completely for this, over time a lot of frustration and Dissatisfaction build up inside you. At some point, all this just bubbles up out of you and an argument starts without your partner knowing what's going on.

So keep pursuing your interests! That doesn't mean you can't establish hobbies together or build a circle of friends. You should still take time for yourself every now and then so that you don't lose yourself.

4. cohesion

As a couple, you are a team that no one can stop. You can rely on each other blindly and know that you will always have each other's backs. This feeling of togetherness is incredible important for a happy relationship. You give each other security and feel safe together. These are exactly the feelings that make up a partnership, aren't they?

There will always be challenges that your partner or you will face. They can put your relationship to the test. But if you continue to stand firm together, you will overcome every hurdle and grow even stronger together. However, if you notice that this cohesion is not there, you may question your relationship because an important pillar has broken down.

5. common goals

When you look into the future, do you see yourselves together? Do you have similar ideas? Common goals are incredibly important, because they bind you together and show you that you will still be pulling in the same direction many years from now. But do you notice that your ideas are not only very far apart? Despite numerous compromises you do not manage to be happy - then you are clearly facing a problem. The 5th pillar is beginning to crumble.

6. free time

Do you still remember your dating time, when you did an incredible amount of things? The more your relationship solidifies, the more everyday life returns and these ventures decrease - that's quite normal. But at a certain point, there's a danger of losing the desire to invest something in the relationship because you now feel secure.

Of course, the feeling of security is good and important. But don't forget to bring some fresh air into your relationship every now and then. Otherwise, you will eventually take each other for granted and give each other the feeling that you are no longer really valued. How about a nice vacation together, a romantic date night or just a movie night without distractions like smartphones and the like?

7. romance in a happy relationship

Of course, romance should not be neglected in any relationship. But that is often easier said than done in the stressful everyday life. You come home after a turbulent and long day at work and just want to sleep - it happens. But if there are only such days, you put your happy relationship to a hard test.

Of course, not every minute can be brimming with romance, and it doesn't have to be. It is only important that you regularly create small islands of romance so that the fire between you does not go out.

8. sexuality

It is passion that makes us human - also in the sexual sense. At the beginning of a relationship, many couples are especially sexually active, as they strive to seduce each other. The more solid your partnership is, the less you may see the need for it. After all, you have been together for a long time. But look at it this way: seduction keeps the flame of your relationship burning.

Are you in a happy relationship? 10 signs for countless beautiful years together

Most people would automatically answer "yes" to the question of whether they are in a happy relationship, because they have never really thought about whether they are truly happy. At least they are not hard unhappyso that means something good, doesn't it? But one does not necessarily indicate the other.

Just because you're not lying in bed crying every night and you're not fighting every day doesn't mean you're actually in a genuine happy relationship. We've put together ten signs to help you figure out just that. The more of them you answer "yes" quite honestly, the more certain you can be that happiness is a permanent tenant with you. So let's get started!

1. do you conjure each other an honest Smile on the lips?
2. are you able to discuss differences of opinion without fearing that your relationship will break down as a result?
3. give each other Security and feel "arrived" together?
Do you accept each other as you are, with all your rough edges?
5. do you support each other no matter how hard times are?
6. are you happy to finally come home after a long day and recharge your batteries with each other?
7) Are you willing to compromise and work together to find solutions that you both agree on? happy are?
8. do you speak openly with each other and listen to what the other person has to say?
9) Do you feel safe when the other person goes out with friends because you know he/she is always faithful?
10. Do your former relationships seem completely void to you?

5 tips for a happy relationship

You noticed while answering the questions that your relationship still has some work to do? Then be sure to read on, because here are five tips that can help you revive your partnership!

1. introduces date nights

At some point, the dating phase is simply over. This is a good thing, because it shows that you have decided to give it a serious try! At some point, however, the tingling sensation and excitement will be lost. Try regular date nights and go out for a fancy dinner, a movie or just a nice walk.

2. shows sincere interest

Your partner comes home from work exhausted and in a bad mood. Now it's up to you to cheer him/her up. Give your sweetheart the opportunity to get the frustration off his/her chest and listen!

3. for a happy relationship: break out of the routine

We humans love routines because they give us security. But just sitting in front of the TV every night and going to sleep at some point? That won't guarantee you a happy relationship in the long run. Bring variety into your everyday life every now and then and thus create a breath of fresh air in your relationship.

4. respect your boundaries

You like to make jokes, but your partner feels offended by certain things you joke about because they go too far for him/her personally? Respect your partner's individual boundaries, even if you don't mean any harm at all. Jokes can also hurt, no matter what the intention behind them.

5. apologize

Elton John has been singing "Sorry seems to be the hardest word" since 1976, and he's right. It's often hard to jump over your own shadow and simply apologize. Nobody wants to show weakness, but let's be honest: A relationship is not a power struggle. If you have made a mistake, apologize and show your partner that your pride is not worth more to you than your relationship.


Is your relationship healthy?

Find out, Whether your relationship is toxic! Our free relationship quiz will help you see if you're in a harmful relationship - or if everything is in the green.
Only 4 minutes
Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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