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10 signs of a broken relationship: how to recognize them

Reading time 10 minutes
10 signs of a broken relationship: how to recognize them

Updated on: 30.05.2024

There are good and bad times in every relationship. Sometimes, however, the problems become so big that you become unhappy. It can be difficult to recognize when a relationship is in trouble. Often we don't want to see the truth and stay in an unhappy partnership because we are afraid of being alone. This only increases the pain for both parties.

To help you recognize the signs, we have created the 10 key signs of a broken relationship listed. Check your feelings as you read these 10 points:

1. you only feel annoyed by each other

No matter what the other person does, it will drive you up the wall. This can be everyday, actually trivial little things. Do you get aggressive inside when you see your partner eating their breakfast roll? Does your partner's voice and laughter give you a headache? This is a clear warning sign that something is wrong.

Of course, the opposite can also happen: Maybe you feel like you have to walk on eggshells at home because your partner feels annoyed by your presence.

If you feel like this, you could both use our free Personality Test and compare your results. On the one hand, this opens up a conversation for an open exchange about how you think and feel, and on the other, you learn something about yourself. The result may help you to understand the other person better. Just give it a try! The test is free of charge, based on the scientifically sound DISC model and only takes a few minutes.

2. you live past each other

Even within a partnership, everyone should remain an independent person. This includes pursuing your own hobbies and possibly even having your own circle of friends. However, if you no longer have anything in common, this may indicate a broken relationship. In this case, the partnership often feels like a shared apartment life, where you only greet each other briefly in the morning and evening.

3. you do not have sex anymore

That the passion cools down a little in the course of the relationship years is quite normal. But if one of you does not feel any Need more after intimacy, this can be a warning signal. The same is true if sex feels like a chore, since you're supposed to be doing "it.

How much Sex german couples The German Federal Center for Health Education (BZH) conducted a large-scale study to find out how many people in Germany have an average relationship with each other.


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4. the proximity of the other person feels uncomfortable

In addition to sexuality, the physical closeness of the partner is also an important building block within a functioning relationship. If hugs or other tender gestures suddenly feel unpleasant, the partnership may no longer be in order. Anyone who can no longer stand the closeness of the other person should seriously consider a separation.

5. you are silent to each other

An intact relationship thrives on communication. In a broken relationship, on the other hand, silence spreads. Some couples simply have nothing more to say to each other. This is not only sad, but equally demoralizing for both parties. Silence can sometimes be more hurtful than a thousand mean words. Silence expresses absolute Indifference off.

6. you discuss important topics with other people

People who have lost confidence in their own partnership tend to discuss important issues with other people. After all, you have to communicate with someone. Conversely, you may notice that your partner no longer includes you in important decisions.

7. you catch yourself talking shit about your partner

Pent-up frustration eventually finds its way out. Of course, it can happen in any relationship that you get angry with your partner at times and vent your grief to your best friend, for example. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you find yourself regularly speaking ill of your partner to other people, you should seriously question the relationship. The same applies if you are repeatedly told that your partner is talking bad about you elsewhere.

8. you take refuge in work

Do you have the feeling that your partner regularly works overtime to avoid spending time with you? Or do you yourself put off going home because you don't look forward to being at home (anymore)? These behaviors are a clear sign that the relationship is coming to an end.

9. you no longer pay attention to each other

At the beginning of a relationship, you often listen to the other person very carefully. After all, you want to know everything about the person you've fallen in love with: his hobbies, his interests, his experiences. In a broken relationship, this attention dwindles. There are also no more loving gestures, e.g. a cup of coffee by the bed or a bouquet of flowers.

10. mutual devaluation

Being devalued by your partner is one of the most painful interpersonal experiences of all. Nevertheless, this does not happen all that rarely. Devaluation can take place through deliberate ignoring or verbal boundary crossings: "You're too stupid for that. You can't do it anyway." Once such statements have been made, the relationship is usually broken.

10 signs of a broken relationship

How can you tell that your relationship is broken?

Deep down, you usually know pretty well that your own Relationship is broken. The mind usually grasps this much faster than the heart. The difficulty is to face the negative feelings and act accordingly. Doubts about the relationship develop insidiously in most couples. In the beginning, it is often just a subtle feeling.

Do you feel in the presence of your partner no longer salvaged and secure? Do you feel that you are basically expendable and replaceable for him or her? Or is it rather that you simply no longer feel the same for your partner as you did at the beginning? All of these thought processes are typical when you begin to distance yourself inwardly from your relationship.

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In addition, broken trust often plays a role. It may have been in the Past There have been repeated breaches of trust. From whom these originated is secondary for the time being. However, since trust should be the basis of every love relationship, this may well be a sign of a broken relationship.

If these thoughts have been bothering you for some time, then you should bring clarity to this issue. Use our Relationship test as support and help to reflect on your relationship. What do you consider to be an essential part of a perfect partnership? And which of these values do you already live by, and which of them can still be tweaked? You may also gain completely different insights. Take the test now to better understand your relationship.

Falling out of love: Recognizing signs of a broken relationship

Now we have already presented you 10 signs of a broken relationship. However, we don't want to deprive you of other characteristics that may indicate that you are going in different directions.

1. you do not know the answer to the question whether you (still) love your partner

When someone asks you if you feel love for your partner, you have to think very long. A spontaneous "yes" simply doesn't pass your lips (anymore). This is a clear sign that you already have strong doubts about the relationship.

2. you can imagine a life without your partner very well

The thought of you and your partner going your separate ways doesn't feel the least bit wistful? The idea doesn't cause you to do more than shrug your shoulders? Maybe you even feel relieved or liberated? If so, it might actually be time to think about a breakup. You seem to have already detached yourself emotionally from the partnership.

3. you would not choose your partner again

When you met your partner, you were convinced he or she was the man/woman of your dreams. But now, when you look back at the years you spent together, you wouldn't go down the same road again. This realization is painful, but sometimes necessary to look forward again.

4. signs of a broken relationship: you think about spatial Separation to

Your life together feels like a cramp and you think a physical separation would help you? This measure can actually work. Whether the spatial separation then also means the final end depends on how you develop.

Possibly, due to the distance inner peace and realize that you want to give your partnership another chance. However, it is just as likely that you will find that you no longer miss each other at all.

5. you rediscover your interest in other men / women

Interest in other potential partners may indicate that there are serious problems in your current relationship. You may be missing something in your partnership, such as closeness or understanding. Maybe you just want to feel wanted again.

Whether the relationship is already broken depends on whether you manage to talk about your unfulfilled desires and needs. If it comes to the Side jumpthe probability that you can still save your relationship decreases. However, this is not completely impossible.

6. you no longer support each other

Supporting your partner is a sign of appreciation. If this is missing, the relationship falters. Do you feel left alone with the housework and daily chores? Do open conversations not lead to a change in your partner's behavior? Then the relationship may already have cracked.

In addition to the mutual support in everyday life also play the big dreams and Life goals matter. If your partner badmouths your successes or lets you down in matters of the heart, this is not a good sign.

7. you have different ideas about the future

People develop throughout their lives - also and especially within a relationship. Sometimes it happens that two partners develop in completely different directions. You may be planning your career path, while your partner is eager to have children. If the ideas about the future collide too strongly, a separation is the better option.

8. signs of a broken relationship: you no longer respect each other

Losing respect for each other is a clear sign that the relationship is broken. The reasons for this scenario can be many. Often, one partner gives up his or her complete personality to please the other. However, an adult partnership can only work if both parties are equal.

Often the "stronger" partner loses respect for the supposedly "weaker" one. Behaviors such as clinging and other uncontrolled emotional outbursts can also cause the respect of the other person to dwindle.

9. your partner makes you cry more than you laugh

Do you find that your partnership often causes you tears and sorrow? Then it can help to weigh the emotions in a mental scale: Does the sorrow overshadow the happy moments? Does your relationship burden you more than it brings you joy? In this case, the partnership is broken and you should think about a new beginning.

10. you plan your life separately

When you imagine your future, your partner no longer appears in it. You only think in the "I" perspective, a "we" no longer exists. Or maybe it's your partner who suddenly talks about changing jobs and moving, but doesn't say a word about what that would mean for your relationship.

11. there is a lack of mutual care

You're sick in bed and longing for your partner's care? Instead of providing you with tea, tissues and chicken soup, your partner keeps a safe distance. Just like the motto: "Just don't infect me. I can't miss work."

12. you no longer make an effort to be attractive to each other

For the first few dates you got all dressed up, and even later you seduced your partner with visual charms every now and then - or he seduced you. By now, however, you're both completely indifferent to whether you're attractive to the other person. Shave your legs? Oh, what's the point? Change the stained sweatpants? They can still go in the wash tomorrow...

If these scenarios sound familiar to you, is Mindfulness offered. Of course, no one expects you to be neat and tidy at home. However, complete indifference is a bad sign.

13. other people find a Change at

Sometimes outsiders notice much sooner that a couple is changing. If a trusted person tells you that you no longer seem happy, it makes sense to question this. As mentioned at the beginning, your own heart often blocks important insights regarding the partnership. Neutral opinions are therefore worth their weight in gold!

14. constantly there are misunderstandings and quarrels

You may suddenly feel attacked by everything your partner says, even though it wasn't meant that way. Or, conversely, you may have the impression that he or she is will simply misunderstand you. This makes communication difficult to impossible.

15. signs of a broken relationship: one takes advantage of the other

Do you have the feeling that your partner only wants to live out the pleasant aspects of a relationship (e.g. sex)? But as soon as it becomes problematic, he or she prefers to keep his or her distance? Then it could be that you are being taken advantage of. An intact partnership does not only include the sunny sides. Especially in times of crisis, you have to be able to rely on each other.

Relationship unhappy

How you can still save your relationship

If several of the above warning signs apply to your relationship, there are two options: Separation or the struggle for love. Basically can Relationship crises can be overcome. Often, however, a love break-up can also bring many opportunities, namely to draw the partnership into your life that you want and deserve.

Whether a relationship is destined to last forever can never be predicted with certainty. However, there are ways to make at least approximately realistic predictions. Researchers at the University of Jena and the University of Alberta in Canada have looked into this. They took the psychological development in relationships under the magnifying glass.

However, the prerequisite for saving your broken relationship is that both partners are willing to work on themselves. Often, an open and honest conversation is an important foundation stone for Relationship still salvageable!

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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