Christian Gaertner: "Don't conform anymore, realize yourself!"

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How can self-actualization work if you are sometimes too nice? Or conforming too often to the expectations of others? How many of you think things are happening in our world right now that aren't so right? "I became a father for the second time in May. When I hold my baby daughter in my arms, I am overcome with a feeling of pure happiness. It's pure essence of life. That's 100% confidence. When a baby like that slowly grows up, it starts - like all of us - to have its experiences," tells Christian Gaertner at the Speaker's Night at the Volksbühne am Rudolfplatz in Cologne. The family father speaks from his own experience: "At some point we come to a fork in the road in our lives. One of them leads in the direction of adaptation. Maybe you have already chosen this one out of fear. The second fork is called realization."

Believe in your self-realization

When you are self-actualizing, you ask yourself questions like: Who am I? What do I want? What am I passionate about? "For me, for a long time, the path of adaptation was called: normal life. I went to school, graduated from high school, studied and then at some point I sat as a manager in a large German company. But in between there was always this realization. What I used to really enjoy was tennis. At the age of 10 I won my first big tournament. At the age of 16 tennis became too boring for me. Then I was overcome with the desire to become a DJ. Then, in my early 20s, I asked myself: "What are you doing here? I chose the path of adaptation again, became a flight attendant. And so slowly I lost the faith in myself to become really successful," Christian Gaertner reports.

"Life doesn't need dramas to make you successful".

He read so many biographies of people who are successful in their lives. And all of them tell of strokes of fate that preceded them. "In me arose the Belief Statement: Christian, you can't become a success. I had a good childhood. I was a cool DJ. A nice flight attendant, seen the whole world. But I can't be successful. - Until I realized: You don't need extremes in life to become successful. You don't need drama. You just need a moment of awakening. Ask yourself: Am I in adjustment right now, or am I in my self-actualization?"

"Don't play the nice guy"

2016 - Christian Gärtner is in his final seminar for his trainer and coach training in Thailand. He was asked to share with the group why he is a trainer and Become a coach wants to. At one point, his coach stopped him in his flow of words. "Stop being a nice guy." - He hit the mark with his criticism.

Self-realization: Decide for your path

"I made the decision: no more adaptation! In recent years I learned that there are several strategies of adaptation. There are those people who give up from the start and just go with the flow. Then there are the rebels. They're out there just complaining all the time. They're just loud, but they don't change anything. Then there are the nice ones, they are popular with others but don't really get ahead. What we need are people who put aside their niceness for a change and take responsibility. Go their own way. Show them the way. That's exactly what I decided for myself at that moment!"

Self-actualization - find an environment that pushes you

How does that work? It's simple: Trust. Act on your intuition. And you need people around you to push you. Take personal responsibility - says Christian Gaertner. "Each of us can do our part to make our world a little bit better. Do you know managers who hear something from above, take it in and push it on their employees? Without thinking about any consequences. But that doesn't work anymore today. The new generation in particular is no longer interested in this kind of behaviour. They want to have a meaning in their work. They want to be taken along. Something can change in our society!"

"Being brave means saying no sometimes!"

My biggest mentor is my son Jonathan. Four years old. I'm going over in my head what I need to do before vacation. First to do: wash the car. He's dying to go, even though he's usually been afraid of the car wash. So dad and son go to wash car. Meanwhile I get a message that makes me smile. Jonathan is curious and of course wants to know everything, I turn to him and say, "Life is all about having fun and not always taking everything so seriously." He looks at me and replies, "Yes, Dad! And it comes down to just being brave and saying no."

For your self-realization: Go to the heart level

"At that moment, it wasn't me who gave him a Life wisdom but he gave it to me. How many times in my life have I ducked down? Being nice has not made me successful. Be polite, get down to heart level. What can you go out now and say no? What can you go out and Yes say? Many of us always want to change the whole world right away. Let's start with ourselves first. I wish that you would make a decision for yourself: Say to something in your life No and take personal responsibility."


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