René Borbonus: Tips for successful communication with children

René Borbonus is not only one of Germany's best-known rhetoric experts, but also a father who has experienced the challenges of parenting first-hand. In a candid conversation with actress and mother of two Susan Sideropoulos, René Borbonus provides insights into his experiences as a father and shares valuable tips on communicating with children. With his unmistakable humor and deep insights, he explains why private successes form the basis for professional success and how to find the right words as a parent even in difficult moments.

"Communication with children works just like in the adult world"

René Borbonus

Susan Sideropoulos: René, you are a master of rhetoric, but today we are talking about a completely different topic: parent-child communication. What motivated you to tackle this topic?

René Borbonus: This topic is very close to my heart, especially because I am a father myself and have realized during Corona with homeschooling and working from home how important communication with our children is. As parents, we always want the best for our children, but we often reach our limits. Communication plays a huge role in this. And what I found out: Communication with children often works according to the same principles as in the adult world. "Children are just little people too", as I like to say.

Susan Sideropoulos: Absolutely! You speak from my soul. The homeschooling phase in particular was a challenge. Did you learn anything important for you as a father during this time?

René Borbonus: Yes, definitely. Especially that we parents often forget to take care of ourselves. When we are angry or stressed, it becomes difficult to have good conversations. It's not called "blinded by anger" for nothing. Emotions limit our ability to communicate constructively. That's why self-care is so important. Only when we are in a balanced state can we reach our children properly.

Susan Sideropoulos: That's so true! I have often turned into a "fury", especially in stressful situations. What do you recommend when you don't always feel calm and balanced in everyday life?

René Borbonus: An important point is that we don't have to solve everything immediately. A good example is "saying no". We parents often believe that we always have to justify a "no". But sometimes it's better to just let a "no" stand. When you start to explain, it suddenly becomes all about the justification and no longer about the "no". Instead, you can respond with empathy, for example by saying: "I know you really want the jelly babies, but unfortunately I can't give them to you now."

Susan Sideropoulos: I find that exciting! So empathy is the key?

René Borbonus: Exactly, empathy is extremely important. Children want to feel seen. If we show them that we understand their feelings, there is less resistance. Another tip: humor! Humor can work wonders. If I manage to defuse a situation with humor, things usually go better. I remember one time when I put my wife's glasses on to make our children laugh when they didn't want to go to the bathroom. It worked!

Susan Sideropoulos: That sounds great! But what if it doesn't work out at all, emotions run high and everyone ends up crying - including me?

René Borbonus: It happens to all of us. In moments like these, it is important to show children that we as parents are not perfect either. A genuine, credible apology can work wonders. It should consist of three parts: Remorse, empathy and a plan on how to do better next time. This strengthens the relationship with the children and shows them that we are making an effort.

Susan Sideropoulos: What a valuable insight. Thank you so much, René, for your great tips and insights! I'm looking forward to applying it all in my own family.

René Borbonus: You're very welcome, Susan. I wish you every success - and don't forget: Humor is always a good idea!