For mental coach Denys Scharnweber, personality development is a matter of the heart. That wasn't always the case - because the career of today's LIFEcoach originally began with self-employment in sales. But his job did not fulfill him. And when he lost almost everything through his self-employment in sales, he started a new career. Denys Scharnweberto pursue his real passion: coaching people.
The Hamburg native sees his life's work in helping people find themselves. He doesn't want to force anyone into a pattern into which they don't fit. Instead, Denys Scharnweber places great value on everyone being able to develop freely and become independent of others. This is precisely why the topic of neuro-linguistic programming plays an important role for him.
In the training Denys Scharnweber shows how important it is to reflect on yourself, your feelings and your body. He looks at people holistically. For him, body, mind and soul count. Did you know that children don't think at all? They don't ask questions, they just live - carefree and happy. And would you have thought that the realization of your thoughts will lead you to truthfulness and thus to true love? No? Then you may listen to the interview "A Life full of changes and personality development" with Denys Scharnweber. Have fun!
Denys Scharnweber: "Development arises in the depths!"
For Denys Scharnweber, his heart work is at the same time energy work: "My heart is attached to the topic of personality development. I believe that life is a development. And I know that development always comes from the depths." That's why it's important to the LIFEcoach to never stop learning, but to constantly gain new insights. "I used to think you had to have big pictures and goals, visions and missions to develop your personality. Today I know that this contributes to development. But what I have discovered for myself has a whole other depth. Today, personality development for me means coming back to the heart and living wholeheartedly."
To understand, the expert explains, "When we come into this world, we are unbiased and free. We have a childlike Lightness. There is no limitation. Limitations only arise as we get older. We think more in patterns, weigh things up, and act much less intuitively." Doubts, fears and ulterior motives control our thoughts and actions. But how do we manage to return to our childlike intuition, the "lesser lack consciousness"?
Denys Scharnweber knows the answer: "By remembering what your heart can do. The heart has aspects and these aspects have a certain quality. Again, for me, these qualities have nothing to do with emotions. Emotions you can value, but love has no 'because'. Unfortunately, we have forgotten to accept people 100 percent as they are. But life is not about someone doing everything right. It's about accepting someone for who they really are."
Reflect on your feelings
But how should you behave in everyday life when you notice that you are strongly annoyed with someone or something? "Then you have to look closely and ask yourself what the whole thing has to do with you. Let that sink in for a bit and reflect." Many people only reflect on their thoughts. However, it is much more important to reflect on your feelings: What is this feeling doing to you? And why does someone else have the power over you to make you feel this way?
Denys Scharnweber: "If you look at it honestly, you might associate a memory with it. All the situations you experience on the outside are sorted and stored away. And if you've had a situation in your life that was very powerful - a breakup, for example - then the basic tone in you spans." In short, that situation gets stuck in the limbic system. The expert explains it as follows: "Then you're trapped in that emotion and you get angry or sad over and over again, for example. Fortunately, you can solve such situations well and easily today."
Denys Scharnweber: Your body as a feedback instrument
Wrong decisions are also part of life. But how should you react when you realize that you regret your decision? And how do you even realize that a decision wasn't right? Denys Scharnweber: "When you have a loop in your head, you need a feeling of 'not another day'. The moment you have that feeling, you snap. When the pain is that great, you just do it. The good thing is, no matter what you do, and no matter how bad something is, you always learn something for life."
In addition, the mental coach reveals how you can tell in everyday life that you are deceiving yourself in certain situations: "Your body is your feedback instrument. It talks to you and gives you signals. Therefore, look closely at what makes you angry or sad." If things are repetitive, for example, if you are always sad or angry in similar situations, then the emotions have become trapped inside you. Something couldn't be processed in that case. Denys Scharnweber: "If you go back there, you know what you haven't worked through or learned. The emotion is usually related to the fact that you left something. If you want to get back to yourself, you will get there. You just have to listen to your body and how you feel."
Denys Scharnweber reveals his formula for success
Pretty interesting, isn't it? Let's go one step further: How do you manage to become really successful and happy in life? Denys Scharnweber reveals his personal formula for success: "With love, joy and perseverance. Love what you do. Take pleasure in it - because joy is your life force. It is a great motor and a strong Motivation. I work on myself for the joy of development, for the joy of coming back to myself."
At the end of the day, according to the expert, it's all about who we love and who loves us. Denys Scharnweber: "When we die, all that really matters is how many good friends we have had and how much love we have lived. That is what I have understood: I want to be healthy, to love and to be loved. And I want to have a lot of fun in life. And then there is nothing more to do when we have that. Once you understand that, it's great because everything leads back to that."