"The beauty of coaching is that you can listen and learn what people want." Sabine Asgodom is a management trainer and expert in personal development. In her seminars she has already coached many 1000 employees and managers. She can sum up what she has experienced in two sentences: "Employees want to be led humanely. And leaders want to lead humanely." To show how this can succeed, Sabine Asgodom has developed five impulses. She tells us, "I call these impulses Leading with SOUL." They stand for the following terms:
However, SEELE can be wonderfully applied not only in employee management, but also in general dealings with people. You want to touch other people and give them the feeling of appreciation? Then you should definitely find out what is behind the individual impulses. Have fun and good luck!
The expert reveals: "In a coaching session, I had a manager who took an hour every day to conduct employee interviews. The manager and her department were incredibly successful. And yet, her boss was yelling at her to stop talking. She wasn't being paid to do that, she said. As a result, the manager came to my coaching because she was stuck." Talking to Sabine Asgodom, the manager found a solution, which was to come to the office an hour early every day and talk to the employees in her free time. Sabine Asgodom tells us, "You can certainly argue about that, because not everyone would do that, I'm sure. But it was her own solution."
Meaninglessness makes people unhappy.Sabine Asgodom
But why are the appraisal interviews so important for the manager in the first place? Quite simply: because they give her work a meaning. Because the manager likes working with people, loves her team and doesn't want to give up or change the appraisal interviews. Sabine Asgodom: "My observation over all these years is that meaninglessness makes people unhappy. It robs energy and goal orientation. If you don't see any sense in what you are doing, then you have to expend a lot of energy to do your job. To me, leading with meaning means first finding your own meaning and then giving meaning to your employees."
Good leadership in particular and good cooperation in general can only be achieved with the help of positive emotions. Sabine Asgodom: "We know from psychology that stress makes you stupid. Scientists have found that positive emotions, on the other hand, make people creative." And the good news is that we ourselves can create positive emotions in ourselves and in our fellow human beings.
Sabine Asgodom reports: "It is the small gestures that make the difference. Attentive listening and recognition are particularly important. By touching people emotionally, you create closeness and build trust." And how can we touch emotionally? For example, through our voice, the way we speak or by replacing the word 'but' with 'and'. This makes a statement sound much more positive right away. Try it out!
Emotions and empathy are strongly connected. After all, how are we supposed to be able to empathize with other people if we no longer feel ourselves? Sabine Asgodom: "If I no longer feel myself, then I cannot develop empathy for others. By the way, compassion doesn't mean pity, it means being able to empathize with situations." According to the expert, there are three essential basic statements about people in psychology:
Sabine Asgodom: "Isn't that a wonderful permission? We don't have to be like everyone else, we are allowed to be different. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true: the others are allowed to be different from me. For me, that is empathy in action - knowing that people do things differently."
Love begins with yourself, namely with self-love, and leads to understanding for other people. Sabine Asgodom says: "If you don't like yourself, it's very difficult to inspire and appreciate other people. Because if someone is dissatisfied with his own life, he will always find a reason to poke others. But if I have a good self-image, I don't need that. Because then I can stand that other people have something that I don't have."
The management trainer refers to the momentum we have as élan. She compares life to a game of tennis: "We can't influence how the ball comes. But our return and our performance can. Do I have a good stance, good technique and energy? Because that's what makes the difference." At the end, she gives one last valuable tip for touching people and leading them the right way: "With humor, you rise in the respect of those around you, because humor creates aplomb."