"In the past, I could never have imagined being on a stage today. Too great was the fear of failing, of having a breakdown or being laughed at. In fact, this very thing - the stage - has been part of my daily vocation for many years: "And I love it," Christina Grahn-Hommelsheim (46) said quite openly during her performance during the Speakers' Nights at the Volksbühne am Rudolfplatz in Cologne. In her speech, the coach spoke about fear of loss and her new beginning and how you too can manage to become self-confident. Find out more now!
Christina Grahn: "Many of our fears arise in childhood!"
What did Christina do to get her Fears to overcome and become more confident? She looked at them and managed more and more to not let them block her anymore. "I think we all have these fears. That connects us with each other. But they must not stop you from living the life you really want to live. These fears are probably personality-based. But almost all of them arise in our childhood," Christina knows from experience. So does her fear of loss.
No room to get confident
In her childhood, the coach experienced violence, sexual abuse and a mother who was completely overwhelmed with her task. Christina was constantly afraid of loss, the feeling: "I'm not really supposed to be here!" Nevertheless, there was one person in her childhood who supported Christina Grahn-Hommelsheim: her father. In his presence she had the feeling that she was allowed to be the way she is.
Christina: "I had the feeling at that moment that it was all over"
Then there was this one night. Tuesday night. Nine o'clock. Christina is 15 years old and puts her little sister to bed. The doorbell rings. Her grandmother stands there and delivers the news of her father's death. "At that moment I had the feeling that it was all over. I fall and fall and fall. For me there were only two possibilities:
- Give up
My mother assured us that we would manage and stick together as a team," Christina remembers very well many years later. So she fought.
From the fear of loss to the doer mode
A few months later Christina's sister was sent to an asthma boarding school and her mother had decided to start a new life in Spain. "And I was left alone in this house. The only refuge I had at that moment was my parents' business. I took it over when I was 18. Because giving up was out of the question for me. For my age, I was acting very confidently at that moment. Even though I had many fears. At the same time I studied business administration.
Outwardly, Christina seemed confident
The following years Christina lived fully in her pattern: "Somehow I have to do this!" It also worked: balance sheets improved, employees could be paid, she drove a fancy car and owned a great house. "But inside I was in a really bad place. I had a really bad eating disorder and was depressed, had panic attacks," says the author of "Heart over head - The simple formula for a happy life" honestly about her past.
Christina Grahn-Hommelsheim: "Life is a coaching session!"
One day Christina finds herself in hospital. A doctor stands before her and makes a clear statement: "If you keep this up, you'll only live a few more years!" This moment woke the young woman up: At the age of 25 she put her energy into all her training courses on personal development. Christina would like to share with you the most important insights of her past 20 years, which have made her more self-confident:
- Life is a Coaching-Session: It brings the same situations into our lives over and over again - only with changing protagonists. Until you realize the "learning" behind it for yourself.
- Sometimes we sit in a cage of self-created thoughts and beliefs. Some of them are very old, because we have taken them over from parents or grandparents. With me it was the fear of loss. But ask yourself: Do they still bring you anything?
- We always have a cloud of energy around us at all times. You radiate something over it. It's like a kind of beamer that you use to create. You draw into your life what you think and feel. Check whether you still need this energy cloud for yourself. Because tomorrow you might already have in your life what you think today.
For self-confidence: Five minutes investment in your development
If you really want to change something in your life and become more self-confident, Christina has a great recommendation for you: "Let vision work become your daily ritual. Because every day the coach meditates, goes inside. Into calmness. "Even if you invest only five minutes in your development, it can make such a big difference", she knows too well from her own experience. "Ask yourself what you want - and live it. Then gratitude and joy will automatically move into your life."
Vision work makes you self-confident: This is how you draw joy into your life
If you had a stupid childhood, this is (unfortunately) no excuse at all - says Christina. On the contrary: "It gives you an incredible amount of potential and strength. I have also succeeded in making my fear of loss get smaller and smaller. Now it's time for you to create the life that you really enjoy. That's what you're here for." And so you put the Visionary work um:
- Taking five minutes off a day to take a break for you
- You imagine what you want
- You feel your new life, your new self, as if it were already there
Suddenly you're not the ship that lies quietly in the harbour. Instead, you've aligned your compass, the ship sets off and the water carries you safely. Dare to leave your comfort zone and look forward to a lot of great new things.