DISCDo you know how it feels to have achieved something you believed in with all your heart?" asks Steffen Ritter to the group. Something that only worked out because you were firmly convinced of yourself and your abilities? If so, you know the feeling of self-confidence. You know that you can achieve anything - if you only believe in yourself.
But maybe the other side is familiar to you as well: Let's say that every now and then you're lacking Self-confidence. Your body language, gestures, and eyes betray that you doubt in certain situations. Sometimes these doubts are expressed not only in what you say, but also in the way you say things. Does this situation sound familiar to you?
The business trainer, author and speaker felt the same way for a long time. Steffen Ritters Turning point? "At some point, I realized what I can do and what I can't do. I understood what I wanted - and what I didn't want." Just like the expert, you too can work on your self-confidence. It can even be really fun. Don't think so? Then let us convince you otherwise. Have fun!
Steffen Ritter is certain: "If you are self-confident, you don't have to pretend." Self-confidence therefore contributes significantly to feeling good and thus to a high quality of life. The expert knows: "Anyone can become self-confident - even you!" Self-confidence is something very special and personal for the business trainer. That's why he doesn't trust any of the numerous studies that exist around the topic of self-confidence: "One of these studies says that blond people are more self-confident and courageous and earn more money than others."
Another study suggests that people under 20 are particularly self-confident. If you go by industry, teachers are the least self-confident, according to a third study. For Steffen Ritter, these statements or statistics have no relevance. He says, "The only thing that matters is that people feel good about themselves and have fun doing what they do."
Instead, for the expert, self-confidence begins quite simply with the question of self-worth. Steffen Ritter: "It is quite normal that this self-worth fluctuates. In the course of time, a high self-worth ultimately also develops into a high Self-confidence. And self-confidence means to trust yourself. That, in turn, means doing things, having courage, and getting into action. But if your self-worth is low, you have correspondingly little self-confidence."
Unfortunately, there are people who reduce the self-worth of their environment, that is, of their fellow human beings. Steffen Ritter calls these people subtrahenders: "Subtrahenders pull everyone down. They end up feeling better - but everyone else feels worse." The nasty thing: Subtrahenders are everywhere. They are people who make others feel small and push off on them in order to become bigger themselves. Under no circumstances should you allow others to drag you down in this way. Because if your self-worth is getting smaller and smaller, that's pretty bad for your professional and personal quality of life.
What can you do instead? First of all, you should be aware that many people are very careless when it comes to doing good for others. Steffen Ritter has the following tip: "Write down the names of the five people you spend the most time with. And then write a minus or a plus next to these names - depending on whether these people do you good or not."
Of course, you cannot ban everyone who is not good for you from your environment. But you can talk to them and explain that this is the case. Steffen Ritter: "By the way, you can also subtract yourself. How you think and speak to yourself is insanely important! Because the person you have to deal with the most in your life is yourself." And that's where it sucks if you bring yourself down and are your own subtrahend. From now on, pay more attention to how you treat yourself. After all, there's no reason to belittle yourself.
Comparisons also reduce self-worth tremendously. Why? Because one compares oneself all too often with the incomparable. The expert knows: "Some comparisons do not arise at all. Therefore, always pay attention to who you are comparing yourself with and whether it is good. Because happiness is not found in comparison - rather, you find unhappiness in it." The only person you should compare yourself to every now and then is yourself - with all your goals, ideas and fantasies you have about life. That can be money, self-fulfillment, fun, joy in working or in life itself. Steffen Ritter: "That is the only comparison you have to make. But don't compare yourself with anyone else. Because someone else is not you."
But how does an increase in Self-esteem? The simplest method is recognition. Steffen Ritter: "There is the law of reciprocity: If you are pleasant and appreciative to others, then others will be so to you. This is always true. So if you work on the self-esteem growth of others, it has a huge value and is also a great opportunity for yourself."
Acknowledging other people and supporting them in their Strengthen self-worthis a special way of doing good to others and, at the same time, doing good to yourself. But there is another thing that helps wonderfully to look confidently into the world: Smile for yourself for a few minutes. Steffen Ritter: "When you smile, the muscle presses on the nerve. The nerve sends this information to the brain. And the brain sends out joy hormones. That's a very simple and helpful trick to put yourself in a good mood."
This trick is especially good because you are not dependent on others for it. Because in general: If you are dependent on others recognizing you and doing something good for you, that's bad - because others do it far too rarely. Steffen Ritter: "The most important recognition we give ourselves. The most important company we have is ourselves. So there's nothing wrong with smiling at ourselves, is there?"
You will notice that you automatically become more confident when you smile. Because if you smile, you're in a good mood. And if you're in a good mood, you have confidence in yourself. Steffen Ritter: "Self-confidence is not just for an elite minority. It's attainable for everyone." So if you haven't been good to yourself today, now is the time. Smile at yourself with confidence! It works - I promise.