Do you sometimes wish you could see through people better and interpret their body language? Do you think that mind reading, perception and people skills can help you in life - both professionally and privately? Then you are of the same opinion as Thorsten Havener!
Thorsten Havener is a successful speaker and expert for entertainment and moderation. He has been on stage as a magician since he was thirteen and knows how to read body language like no other: "Even back then I noticed that whether a performance is good or not is decided before I step on stage. Thorsten Havener regularly included guests in his magic tricks, whom he selected from the audience beforehand: "There are always people who are more sceptical than others. And if you approach the wrong table first, then you quickly notice that it doesn't work."
The most important thing for Thorsten Havener's success as a magician was therefore to observe carefully which spectator reacted how: "Which of many tables do I address first - and who at this table?" For this, the perception of body language played an immensely important role. Thorsten Havener claims, "Perception is everything." How you too can learn to read other people's body language, and how you can benefit from it, we reveal in this magazine article.
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Thorsten Havener: Concentration, please!
First of all, let's clarify the question of how attentive observation of a fellow human being actually works. Expert Thorsten Havener knows: "We have to base our perception on observing the other person very precisely in the moment we are in right now - and not thinking about what else we want to post on Facebook or what emails we should answer. When we focus on that person, we see more than we saw before."
8 tips to see through people better
The first trick is to concentrate better on your counterpart, to be in the here and now and to observe very closely. What should you pay most attention to? The face of the person you're talking to. In the following, we'll tell you eight more tips that you should apply in everyday life in order to immediately see through and influence the people around you. Are you curious? Then let's get started!
1. pay attention to non-verbal communication
There are plenty of ways to communicate without speaking: The facial expressions, gestures and posture of your counterpart reveal a lot about him without the need for the spoken word. Body movements, spatial behaviour and appearance are also telling. Pay attention not only to the content, but also to the way your conversation partner talks. His tone of voice, the timbre of his voice, the speed of his speech and his volume can be very revealing.
2. let someone stand firm
Thorsten Havener knows, "If you want someone to stick to their opinion, make sure they speak their mind loud and clear in front of a group." The person is very likely to stick to their opinion - even if it would make sense to change their mind after all. No one wants to seem like a flag in the wind, so once you've spoken up in front of a group on a particular issue, you'll usually stand firm and persist.
3. remember names
The moment you know the name of your conversation partner, you can control his gaze. Because whoever hears his name usually reacts immediately. Means: The attention of the other belongs to you and now follows your energy. Whenever you notice that your listener's attention is waning, you now know how to get it back: simply by addressing him by name.
4. know when someone is lying
Normally we have a thought, then body language kicks in and only then do we speak. Thorsten Havener: "That is, if we say no and also mean no, then we first shake our head and then say no. However, if we speak first and then use body language, we are lying."
This allows us to deduce even more. Thorsten Havener explains: "Raising our eyebrows also reveals a lot: When we raise our eyebrows, it's as if we underline what we're saying five times with a red pen. If you ask someone a question and they repeat the question while raising their eyebrows, they know the answer but won't tell you." Pretty exciting, right?
5. watch for deviations
In order to see through your fellow human beings even better, you should not only pay attention to the overall impression - because it is not what they do on a regular basis that is particularly meaningful. Instead, point out the exact situations in which deviations occur when the mood or feeling of your counterpart changes. Pay conscious attention to when your counterpart's tone of voice or volume changes, when their facial expressions stiffen, or when their body movements change. In this way, you will find out what is going on inside him.
6. listen carefully
In addition to the content and non-verbal communication, the choice of words of your counterpart also provides important facts to better understand him. Does he regularly use words that have a relativizing effect, for example "actually" or "maybe"? Then you can conclude that he is insecure and wants to cover up this insecurity. If you frequently use superlatives or intensifications, you want to distinguish yourself and appear greater than you are.
7. consider the situation
Of course, the situation also plays an important role in your interpretations. If someone stands in front of a large group of people and uses a lot of relativizing words, then he is uncertain. However, he may not be unsure about the content of what he is saying, but merely nervous because he does not like speaking in front of many people. Body language depends largely on the situation someone is in and whether they are comfortable or uncomfortable in that situation. Always keep this in mind when trying to figure people out.
8. check wishes and needs
If you want to influence someone, nothing is as helpful as knowing their wants and needs. Find out what your counterpart wants and offer it to him! That way, he is very likely to do what you want - or at least be willing to compromise.
The best trick: Get to know your counterpart!
Of course, the knowledge and conclusions you draw from reading the body language of your fellow human beings are not absolutely reliable laws, but merely guidelines. Thorsten Havener: "By observing other people, I can increase my chances that something will work. But sometimes it just doesn't work."
Yes, that's how it is: To really see through another person correctly and reliably, you should invest time, talk to him and get to know him. For all smaller actions you are well positioned with our tips. More exciting tricks to find out what makes other personality types tick can be found here. here. And now: Have fun successfully looking through your fellow men!