What makes for a good conversation?

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What makes for a good conversation?

When negotiating with business partners and customers, the right way of conducting a conversation is crucial. With our tips, you can lead the conversation with confidence.

The 6 best techniques of conversation

Is there a method for conducting conversations? A conversation technique is a way of behaving that enables the conversation to proceed constructively. This is to eliminate misunderstandings and ambiguities. A good conversation offers added value and proceeds positively for all parties involved. Various methods are used to achieve this goal. Communication is always the focus.

The basics of good conversation are:

At Coaching it is your job to steer a conversation fairly. The most important conversation management techniques you can use are:

1. paraphrase

Repeat the statement of your conversation partner in your own words. This will improve your understanding of the other person's point of view and buy you some time in a difficult conversation. This method helps to clarify misunderstandings quickly and to avoid disagreements.

2. verbalize

This conversational technique is similar to paraphrasing, but includes additional emotional aspects. Verbalizing means putting unspoken things into To put into words. With this method, you can recognize hidden messages that your conversation partner wants to tell you.

3. mirroring

The mirror technique is used when it is important to put yourself on the same emotional level as your conversation partner. By imitating your counterpart in gestures and facial expressions and adjusting your tone of voice, you create the conditions for a positive conversation between equal partners.

4. confrontation

Confrontation is a very emotional form of conducting a conversation. Behind it is the desire to "talk plain" and to lure the interlocutor out of his or her reserve if there is a suspicion that the interlocutor is concealing something. As a conversational technique, confrontation is only used in measured doses in order to avoid escalating the conversation.

5. active listening

In active listening, you concentrate on the words of the person you are talking to. At the same time, you use body language to perceive the feelings that your conversation partner is unconsciously expressing. The active listening technique requires good concentration and a lot of empathy. This is why the method is mainly used in psychotherapy. Active listening has also proven itself in coaching conversations.

6. bridging

The bridging tactic is best suited for difficult, slow-moving conversations. In situations where you are looking for a suitable answer to a question, you can bridge the gap with a counter-question. This gives you time to react to the arguments of your conversation partner.

Public speaking coach

Conversation examples that you can use at any time

Your conversational style has a significant impact on the success of the conversation.

Stay factual

Remain objective, even if the conversation becomes emotional or threatens to escalate. The focus is not on you and your interests, but on the issue or topic at hand. Take an active role in the conversation and meet your counterpart with factual arguments.

Speech clear and understandable

Complicated phrasing, speaking too softly or too loudly will result in no one listening. You will get full attention if you speak clearly and understandably. If possible, avoid foreign words and technical terms if the person you are talking to is not an expert in the relevant field.

Put yourself in the situation of your conversation partner

Look at things from the other person's point of view. This trick helps you to find out what your conversation partner means. By making eye contact and nodding, you show your interest in the conversation and signal to the other person that you are listening.

Analyze the content of the conversation

Analyse the content of the conversation. In this way, you check the arguments of the other person and develop the appropriate answers. With this strategy, you can keep a cool head even in difficult conversations such as salary negotiations or business deals.

6 Things You Should Avoid to Have a Successful Conversation

In a good conversation, there is a "red thread" that guides the course of the conversation. Lack of preparation and other mistakes can lead to the conversation not bringing the desired result. Avoid these things if you want to have a successful conversation!

1. lack of preparation

Good interviewing requires preparation. Find out about the person you are talking to and their concerns. Write down a list of arguments and important questions. An ill-prepared conversation will leave everyone involved with an unprepared or disinterested impression.

2. time pressure

15 minutes for salary negotiations with the boss? A short conversation with important business partners between two appointments? Time pressure can ruin the best conversation. Plan important negotiations, client meetings or coaching sessions well in advance and put them in your diary. The time window for a conversation should be large enough so that even additional questions do not put you in a time crunch.

3. poor interviewing skills

The right way of conducting a conversation is the be-all and end-all in coaching and in any other profession. The way the conversation is conducted determines its success. Poor conversation management contributes to an unpleasant atmosphere and can result in your conversation partners losing interest. Important points are then not even addressed.

4. too high expectations

Incorrect expectations in a conversation can lead to misunderstandings. Think about what you expect from a conversation, a negotiation or a discussion. Formulate your statements briefly and concisely and give logical reasons for your arguments.

5. talk past each other

Wherever people communicate with each other, they also talk past each other. With good conversation management, this should not happen. Pay attention to the way you express yourself and describe in clear words what you are talking about.

6. forgetting the essential

Often conversations digress from the actual topic. This is often the case when a discussion partner lacks arguments. With goal-oriented conversation management, you achieve that all participants concentrate on the essentials.

Conversation management in coaching

At Coaching good conversation skills are particularly important for reaching your clients, communicating values and strategies, and providing guidance. As a good coach you master the principles of successful conversation:

  • Listen
  • ask questions
  • Respond to the interlocutor
  • give feedback
  • Collect proposals
  • take a stand
  • develop solutions

During the Online training to become a Greator coach you get to know yourself better. You learn how to bring others to their full potential. So that you can develop into a successful coachyou may first look at your own issues. The conscious perception of one's own words is particularly important when conducting a conversation. Express yourself in a way that your counterpart understands you.

How can you tell when there is a misunderstanding? The goal of good conversation management in coaching is to ask your clients the right questions so that they can identify the solution to their problem themselves. This skill is called solution-focused conversation. The principles of this method, which was developed by the American psychotherapist Carl G. Rogers, serve as the basis of conversational leadership in coaching.

Client-centered conversation

Client-centred conversation according to Carl G. Rogers

In client-centered talk therapy... Carl G. Rogers is based on the assumption that every human being possesses innate abilities which serve him to realise and develop himself, so that a personality of his own matures.

The term client-centered means that the client is the focus of the coach's efforts. Client-centered psychotherapy, also known as conversational psychotherapy, developed from the method of Carl G. Rogers. Nowadays qualified coaching in demand in all areas of life. Support and advice is provided in personal and professional crisis situations, in building a career or other crucial Changes in life taken up.

The approach of client-centered conversation is called non-directive, because a coach is not supposed to lead a client, but to support him. The central principle in coaching emerged from the insight of the psychotherapist Rogers. This is that the task of a coach is to let the client "solve his problem himself".

According to Rogers, important principles for conducting conversations are derived from these requirements:

1. perceive

Listen actively so that you understand what the other person is talking about.

2. assign

You mirror what is said (verbal and non-verbal content) to show what you have heard and understood.

3. weighing

Think about what conclusions to draw from what you have heard.

4. answers

Give feedback and tell your client what you have to say about it. The focus is on your conversation partner with his or her wishes, feelings, goals and values. As a coach, you largely take a back seat. Advice and assessments are not part of a good conversation and should be avoided.

What is successful interviewing all about?

When conducting a successful conversation, it is important to take advantage of the opportunities that the dialogue with the interlocutor offers. A few points are particularly important here:

The start of the conversation

The first sentences you speak will determine whether or not people listen to you. Find an interesting way to start the conversation, a quote, a funny remark or an important argument.

Ask the right questions

In order to be in control of the active conversation, you should listen carefully and ask the right questions. Never interrupt your conversation partner, but listen attentively. Formulate your questions briefly and concisely so that the other person is encouraged to take a stand and find solutions themselves.

Addressing factual ambiguities

Ambiguities can lead to misunderstandings. Address disagreements directly and remain factual, even if your conversation partner reacts frustrated or emotionally.

Learn to deal with different opinions and views

Tolerance is an important asset in dealing with other people. In conducting conversations, tolerant behavior is demonstrated by dealing openly with different views and opinions. Reaching a constructive agreement in conflict situations is important in every conversation.

The most important tips for a good conversation

A lot in life can depend on good conversation skills. Whether you get the job, are successful as a coach or convince your boss of your salary expectations depends not least on your ability to lead a conversation.

With good preparation, openness and politeness, you can lead a dialogue that benefits everyone involved. Encourage the conversation by asking questions. Create a positive atmosphere and criticize only when absolutely necessary. Always start with positive feedback and avoid accusations. Be objective and not subjective about the issue.

What else you can do

Practice the different conversation techniques at home with your friends and acquaintances. Concentrate on the basic rules of conversation and use them consistently. Even if it sounds strange, this method is very effective!

Practice the conversation techniques that you have not yet mastered properly, especially often. This will give you routine and confidence. A confident appearance is an important point in a successful conversation!

Successfully conducting conversations will advance your career. In almost all professions and industries, the right conversation skills are an important part of communication.

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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