Appreciative communication - how to find the right words

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Appreciative communication - how to find the right words

Language is our way of communicating and communicating verbally with other people. However, communication not only connects, it can also divide or lead to misunderstandings. Once words have been uttered, they cannot be taken back. Whether the content of a statement or a conversation is judged as positive or negative depends on our values, beliefs and life experiences. With our reaction, we ourselves decide how further communication with our counterpart will proceed. Appreciative communication is designed to benefit each person involved in a conversation.

The method developed by American psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg as a communication and conflict resolution method is based on respectful interaction at eye level. Appreciative communication is particularly important in the workplace, schools and universities. This form of communication also leads to more respect in private life. Satisfaction and fulfillment of meaning.

What is appreciative communication?

What is appreciative communication? Appreciative communication is characterized by avoiding anything that could offend other people or cause negative feelings. This type of communication is basically applicable to all areas of life.

On the own Needs does not have to be dispensed with. Appreciative communication is about empathy, about communication without (pre-)judgments and evaluations. Is appreciative communication nonviolent communication? The term nonviolent was first used by U.S. psychologist Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg. The internationally recognized conflict mediator, who often traveled to crisis areas as an official mediator, developed nonviolent communication (NVC) as an emphatic and appreciative communication method.

Simply put, communicating appreciatively means: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Appreciative communication is also called the language of the heart. In order to avoid misunderstandings and not to react with blame, it is important to know your own needs. Self-reflection is a prerequisite for showing empathy and communicating appreciatively.

Analyze your thinking and question your intentions when talking to others and achieving your goals in a conversation.

What constitutes appreciative communication?

The appreciative communication definition is that it is a non-violent, non-judgmental and friendly form of communication. Appreciative communication is intended to:

  • Promote mutual understanding
  • Creating connections between people
  • facilitate the interaction with each other

Positive relationship building is possible when pejoratives are avoided and communicated in a benevolent tone. Watch your choice of words. Consider what the other person feels. Avoid statements that could be perceived as offensive.

The term appreciative communication has evolved from the term non-violent communication. However, it means the same thing. The basis of appreciative communication is based on the assumption that feelings represent one's own needs. Both elements, feelings and one's own interests, are closely connected.

appreciative communication examples

Why is appreciative communication important?

Communication is the most important bonding agent between people. Talking to each other makes it possible to exchange expectations, wishes and feelings as well as to convey messages. The Communication skills is an essential part of social intelligence. Communicative qualities are expected in most professions. Managers in particular must have communication skills to lead a team or manage a department.

Friendly communication creates the conditions for a pleasant working atmosphere. Employees who feel valued are more motivated to work. Appreciative communication helps build trust between supervisors and employees. In an appreciative atmosphere, employees can develop and grow better.

Negotiations with business partners and discussions with customers are difficult if communication is not at eye level. Unkind words can annoy customers. In extreme cases, a form of expression that is perceived as inappropriate can lead to a breakdown in business relations. Appreciative communication in business is therefore very important. Not only in the workplace, but also in private life, a benevolent way of communicating is helpful.

Children like to learn when they are lovingly and kindly encouraged to do so. However, the youngest ones react sensitively when they sense that they are not valued but only loved if they perform as required. Appreciative communication helps children build a healthy self-esteem.

What is an appreciative approach?

What does appreciation actually mean and who is appreciated when we talk to others? Appreciation is described as a positive assessment of another person. To be appreciated is a central need of every human being. Appreciative communication aims to fulfill this need. Negative words are deliberately avoided.

In interpersonal dialog, attention is paid to goodwill, recognition and respect. Appreciative interaction with other people should actually be a matter of course, since everyone benefits from it. It is about respectful interaction and understanding instead of misunderstanding. Most conflicts can be prevented through empathetic communication.

Communicative action helps to build empathic connections with our fellow human beings. However, appreciative interaction with others is only possible if you have the ability to value yourself. A stable self-worth is the basic prerequisite for appreciating others with their strengths and limitations. accept and communicate in a benevolent manner.

At work, you show your appreciation by greeting superiors and colleagues in a friendly manner and treating them politely. An appreciative attitude is also expressed through interest in the other person. Recognizing individuality is another aspect that plays a major role in appreciative behavior.

Appreciative communication in the workplace

The key to good cooperation on the job lies in the conscious use of language. However, words are rarely unambiguous. Frequently, communication is not free of prejudice, but characterized by evaluations. For factual issues, this may not be problematic, but for everything else, it quickly leads to conflict.

Appreciative communication with employees is demonstrated by empathy and understanding. As a manager, when addressing your team members, avoid excessive criticism. As an employee, if you have something to discuss with your boss, be sure to use respectful and friendly language.

Recognize your communication patterns

Recognize your own communication patterns. Question your intentions. Formulate your sentences clearly and unambiguously. Avoid words that could evoke negative associations or hurt other people's feelings. Meet your counterpart with empathy.

Appreciative communication does not mean agreeing with everything. You do not have to agree with the person you are talking to if you are not convinced by their arguments. Formulate your counterargument politely, but firmly.

Open, appreciative dialog in the workplace is the essential basis for effective teamwork. Insults, name-calling or threats have no place in communication.

Appreciative communication with children

Children learn at home how to behave and communicate with others. Appreciative communication begins in childhood. As a mother or father, you take on the important task of communicating values to your children.

Appreciative communication is about remaining respectful and having non-blame conversations. Stay relaxed when your children respond to your instructions with anger or disobedience. Even if you're angry or stressed yourself, you can learn to communicate benevolently.

With appreciative communication, you ensure that the relationship with your child remains intact even in difficult situations. Just as in other areas of life, there are rules for appreciative communication. The basic rules are:

  • Formulate sentences clearly
  • Avoid negative word usage
  • Stay friendly
  • Show empathy
  • Keep eye contact

Communicating with children in an appreciative way also means promoting loving interaction - as top speaker René Borbonus explains in the following video.... Children adopt the language they have learned at home. Appreciative communication makes it easier for little ones to socialize and make new friends at kindergarten or school. Family life can be fundamentally changed through respectful and mindful interaction.

Your inner attitude is of central importance. Are you understanding and empathetic? Or do you often react in an overly critical and deprecating manner? Work on your self-esteem when you notice that critical assessments of others hurt you. Look at things in a non-judgmental way. Pay attention to your own needs.

Difference between praise and appreciative communication

Appreciative communication is not the same as praise. The crucial difference is the intention behind it. Praise is usually given to reward a particular performance or the behavior of others. Praise is therefore a spontaneous form of appreciation, which, however, relates to achievements or behavior. Praise serves as recognition for special efforts or outstanding commitment.

In contrast, appreciative communication is itself a form of behavior that is characterized by goodwill and respect and is not dependent on the behavior of others. Every person wants to be appreciated. Being praised on the job has a motivating effect and releases enormous forces.

In many companies, reward systems exist that are designed to reward performance. However, these methods cannot replace appreciative communication in everyday life. A positive communication style characterized by respect conveys appreciation with small gestures. These include listening with interest as well as a benevolent nod of the head or a sympathetic Smile.

Examples of appreciative communication

Appreciative communication has a positive and connecting effect in every area of life. Unobjective criticism, arrogant words or insults are consciously avoided in an empathetic, appreciative communication style. These appreciative communication examples will help you to recognize the basic principles of a form of communication characterized by respect and goodwill and to use them for yourself.

1. employee appraisals

As a manager, your job is to lead a team and manage employees. In any workplace, there is a certain amount of potential for conflict. Employee discussions can become a challenge. Appreciative communication helps to defuse conflicts.

2. respectful treatment

Treat your employees with respect. Avoid unfavorable words such as: incompetent, unsuitable, lazy. Replace these words with positive phrases, such as: You will learn if you practice regularly. - I am convinced that you will succeed.

3. communicate at eye level

Communicate at eye level by adapting your way of speaking to that of your interlocutor. Avoid blanket statements, which are usually not very meaningful. The better solution is to be specific about what you value.

4. appreciative compliments

Appreciative communication also includes appreciative compliments. These should not be nice but empty phrases, but genuine appreciation. For example, in a conversation with your colleague: "I appreciate that I always get the statistics from you on time. It allows me to work in a much more relaxed way."

Appreciative communication highlights things that are not taken for granted. Exaggerations should be avoided, as exaggerated statements or untrustworthy flattery are not perceived as compliments, but are often even perceived as insults.

Appreciative communication also includes the written exchange of ideas and online communication. Even though communication on the Internet often appears more distant, it does not fail to have an effect. The same rules apply to comment columns and social networks as to verbal appreciative communication.

Anonymity in the online sphere lowers the inhibition threshold. Hate comments are an example of a communication method that has gotten out of hand. Remember that people with feelings and needs read your comments, messages and assessments.

Conclusion appreciative communication

Appreciative communication can also take place online. Write what moves you, expressing yourself in a friendly and polite manner. Communicating with appreciation connects people, improves relationships and contributes to a positive working atmosphere.

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