Accept and embrace what is - this is how you let go

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Accept and embrace what is - this is how you let go

Many things cannot be changed. You know you have to accept them - but how can you? Sometimes it's your own mistakes that annoy you. Sometimes you're annoyed by your colleagues, the crowded streets or the argument with your partner. How can you calm stay? Perhaps by thinking about the benefits of acceptance: when you learn to accept, you gain quality of life. You are happier and don't complain about things you have no control over.

What does accept mean?

Define Accept - and get an idea of your own attitude towards unchangeable things.

In psychology, acceptance means accepting people, situations and circumstances. So you accept reality, with everything that goes with it, without the desire to change anything.

Why is acceptance important?

Those who resist reality are always dissatisfied. That's why you want to accept what is - and find a positive attitude.

A friendly and calm mood helps you over hurdles. Those who are not ready for acceptance, on the other hand, want to rule over other people or change reality.

Self-acceptance is just as important as accepting the unchangeable circumstances. Falling down and getting up again, the own strengths and weaknesses Knowing other people, accepting them as they are - that makes you balanced. At the same time, behave like a friend to yourself.

When you accept yourself, people and the world around you, respect comes naturally. Negative feelings don't stand a chance - you just don't get so angry anymore about your own mistakes and those of others.

Acceptance is not about remaining passive. However, the focus is on the things you can change. Acceptance improves your ability to make decisions and makes you resilient, because you fight no longer tilting at imaginary windmills. Instead, you look behind the facade, recognize problems and learn to cope with negative events. From this you gain a great energy that gives you security.

define accept

8 tips to change your perspective and accept things better

At work, you have to cope with the pressure to perform and the competition between colleagues. In your private life, you may have to accept a separation and Learning to let go. The following will help you Tips:

  • Deal with the problem: consider it carefully, but don't let it dominate you. Remember that the decision is yours. Take your time, but put the issue aside when other things take your mind off it. Concentration require.
  • Focus on the circumstances you can influence. What you cannot change is not worth complaining about.
  • Don't let other people get in your way: You yourself are responsible for your thoughts and days. This is an important element of your self-acceptance.
  • Train your composure. It doesn't do any good to spend hours ranting about a mistake - whether you made it or someone else did. Realize that the bad mood doesn't help at all.
  • Call a spade a spade and don't get distracted. Repression only works in the short term and is not the same as acceptance.
  • Be honestbut also forgiving. Mistakes are human. You can be disappointed or angry about them: allow yourself these feelings, because that is also part of acceptance.
  • School your Gratitude: In a journal, you record those things that make you grateful.
  • Accept and conclude: Clarifying conversations are important, but disputes and annoying topics must also come to an end. Resentful behavior doesn't get you or the person you're talking to any further.

Why is it sometimes hard to accept things?

Do you really have to accept everything and everyone? The pushy customer, the unfriendly salesperson, the bad weather, the unpunctual suburban train? You can see from these examples that you don't have any influence on everything. That's why you should learn to accept, otherwise you'll be annoyed all day long.

But it's not always easy to recognize your own limits. Besides, you feel too weak to always give in. But accepting does not mean giving in. On the contrary, when you accept something, you let go and overcome the feeling of helplessness.

By no longer fighting something you can't change anyway, you accept your limitations - and those of other people. You may want to stop your partner, but that worsens your Relationship yet. Maybe you want to protect your child all around, but then you see that you only make everything worse.

Accepting a breakup is especially difficult. Your gut feeling may be that the Relationship no longer salvageable is - but you just don't want to admit it.

The common ideas and norms make it difficult for you to see things clearly. Added to this are your hurt feelings and your more or less realistic wishful thinking. These impair your ability to accept.

5 exercises to practice acceptance in everyday life

An important message: acceptance can be learned. The following Exercises help you to gradually find your way into a serene mood. However, you need Patienceuntil the positive attitude prevails.

  • Rephrase: Don't say, "This field has never been mine," but rather, "I'm still learning the ropes." Don't think, "I suck at this," think, "I'm capable of learning." This is how you work on your negative attitude and slowly turn into an optimist.
  • Comprehend difficult situations: Your dissatisfaction with yourself or another person is bugging you like a pressing shoe? Consider the issue with some distance. Was it really that bad? What exactly do you perceive?
  • Change perspective: Imagine you are your own friend and talk to yourself. This way you can find out why a certain situation upsets you so much.
  • Humor: Look at the situation that annoys you with humor. Didn't bring your umbrella? Then stick your tongue out at the rainstorm. Your boss snapped at you? Imagine how you parry with cheeky answers. Maybe the consequences of a small mishap will make you laugh.
  • Gratitude diary: Write down the things you enjoy - for which you are grateful. This trains your Mindfulness and lifts your spirits.

The best techniques to improve our ability to accept

When you know the meaning of acceptance, you can focus on the things you have influence over. This is an important first insight to practice acceptance. It's also worth looking at the following tricks and techniques to become more relaxed.

  • Speak your thoughts out loud: This will help you get closure on the issue. For example: I can't do anything about my friend being mad - but I accept his attitude and can deal with it.
  • Identify exactly what bothers you: This is how you find out what you actually want to accept. What seems to be more strenuous: the acceptance or the attempts to change something after all?
  • Change the way you think: See unchangeable things for what they are: Facts over which you have no control. No one is to blame - accept them as best you can.
  • Stay focused on the present: It doesn't help to worry about the past things to grieve.
  • Strengthen your self-confidence: How to cope better with life's setbacks and mistakes.

Accept and release energy

With the ability to Acceptance you feel more calm and stronger. You overcome negative emotions such as anger and fear. The power-sapping resistance is replaced by the realization that you cannot influence certain things. This also applies to your own personality. Accept yourself with your weaknesses and strengths. This will not only increase your self-confidence, but also your wisdom.



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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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