Needs - what do you really need for a satisfied life?

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Needs - what do you really need for a satisfied life?

You feel the need for more variety, but your partner wants peace and relaxation? You want to get ahead at work, but things aren't going your way? Basically, you are doing well, but sometimes you feel dissatisfied.

Yet all your human needs are met: You have enough food on the table, you live in a nice environment, and you get along reasonably well at work. Yet you feel driven by your own needs. A closer look at the topic is obviously worthwhile.

What are needs?

In defining needs, you read words like wants, desires, and Motivation. But where do basic needs end and at what point do your individual needs begin?

The basic needs of man are associated with material necessities connected. Basic human needs are elementary necessities. Only when these are fulfilled is a dignified life possible.

Psychology defines a need as the experience of a deficiency, with the simultaneous desire to remedy this deficiency. Here the closeness of need and motivation can be seen. Also in philosophy and other sciences a certain relationship of need and motive can be seen.

The different types of needs

So first of all, your basic needs must be met, which are also called first-order needs. They refer to the human life functions and include:

  • Food,
  • Clothing,
  • Rest (sleep, rest),
  • Room (accommodation),
  • Partnership (closeness, sexuality and reproduction).

These basic needs exist not only for humans, but also for animals.

Second-order needs, i.e. derived needs, on the other hand, are typical human needs. More security and protection, social closeness and recognition, personal development and individual goals belong to this category.

The following list briefly summarizes the most important human needs:

  • Physiological needs (food, clothing, sleep),
  • Safety needs such as stability and protection,
  • Social needs such as belonging, love, closeness, recognition,
  • Self-realization,
  • Fulfillment of one's own goals and desires.

An individualized need is a specific desire that is not universal. For example, you don't want to do just any job, you want to do a specific profession.


Why are needs important for our well-being and satisfaction?

Only when your most important needs are satisfied can you enjoy your life. You can see this when you look at the different needs...Categories consider. Physical needs are primarily about air and water, nutrition, sleep, exercise, warmth, vital energy, health, hygiene and life support. In a broader sense, home and distance are also part of it.

Spiritual needs refer, for example, to a certain order, inner peace, harmony and aesthetics. In addition, there is the need for autonomy, that is, for self-determination and freedom. Personal development is about success and creativity. Learning, individuality and commitment are other important components.

Your own inner voice tells you whether your outer life is in harmony with your values. Are you at peace with yourself? Authenticity and identity are needs that should not be underestimated. Structure and privacy fulfill your security needs. Love, friendship, honesty, tolerance, intimacy and other positive values belong to social needs.

Every person has their own priorities and needs. If you deny them, you will have a hard time, happy to be. However, when you act on your own to fulfill your desires, your quality of life improves. Compromises are often necessary so as not to stand in the way of other people - after all, you don't want to offend your family and friends. Then you should coordinate your various wishes well with each other.

Examples of needs and ways to meet them

The moment you feel a certain need, you realize that something is missing to your happiness. Often a change develops from this. The following Examples help you to define your central and special needs and to fulfill them yourself.

  1. Example:

You like your work quite a bit. Lately, however, the tasks are piling up and the deadlines are hardly manageable. Every day you slave away for 10 hours and don't get any rest. That's why your need for relief is growing. But you can't relax until the weekend, and that's when your family wants your help.

Possible solutions: Ask your boss for shorter working hours or for support. Or ask your family for indulgence - the stressful phase will soon be over.

  1. Example:

Your desk job gives you tension and back pain. But the work itself is fun, especially when you're in the flow. Over time, your need for movement and specific exercises grows.

Possible solutions: Design your workstation ergonomically, and do your fitness and relaxation exercises regularly. Long walks also fulfill your physical need for movement.

  1. Example:

In your relationship, many Routines crept in. You want more variety - maybe you'd like to go to the disco again or take a little city trip. But your partner waves you off: he prefers the peace and quiet and Relaxation.

Possible solutions: Together, you can find small diversions that bring a little momentum into your relationship. An evening at the movies, going out for a nice dinner - here you need to be willing to compromise on both sides so that no one misses out.

Can needs change?

Throughout your life, your wants and needs change. Over the centuries and epochs, even the basic needs of people have changed. The development of values and the change of possibilities have a great influence on these changes. This is especially evident in spiritual needs, which are determined by society and also by cultural background.

In times of crisis, this change is particularly evident. When physical existence is threatened, basic needs come to the fore. But individual dreams and desires do not disappear completely. This can be seen in the fact that the demand for spiritual help increases during difficult phases.

Your own desires also adapt to the course of your life. In good phases, your need for more free time increases, and your Inspiration. When things go bad for you, you become more modest and dream of more financial security.

How can we identify and satisfy our needs?

For your inner relaxation it is important that you perceive your own needs and also stand up for them. What do your inner desires look like - what are you missing right now?

There is often talk about pots of need: When these pots are well filled, you feel satisfaction. But the list always changes somewhat, and the filling level also fluctuates.

Make a list of your most important needs and note the perceived level. Use a scale from 0 to 10 (empty to full), or draw the level. This list of needs can always be expanded and updated.

The need pots with a low filling level indicate what you are particularly lacking. If you become aware of this lack, you can change something. Give your need for more Sports and adventure. Fulfill your desire for more family life. Write an application for the job you want.

Learn to assess your needs correctly

You may need help to fulfill your need. In this case, you should not hesitate, but ask for assistance.

Check your need pots regularly. This will make it easier for you to make decisions. Is visiting the in-laws on the weekend okay, or will it interfere with your need for peace and quiet? Do you prefer the relaxed package tour by plane or the independent, individual trip by car?

Learn to properly assess your needs. Listen to your inner childthat does not hide its desires. Think about the consequences - for yourself and for others.

Tips and tricks to satisfy your needs

On the one hand, your needs push you to take a certain action - on the other hand, you don't want to hurt anyone and you want recognition. That is why it is difficult for you to say "no". But with the "no" that you eventually say, you are saying "yes" to your inner child.

In order to fulfill the need for a rest, such a demarcation is indispensable. By listening to your inner voice, you protect yourself from nervousness and anxiety. 

The following 6 tips help you satisfy your inner child.

  1. Focus on your breathing. Breathe consciously into your belly and slowly out again. This way you relax and come to rest. Look inside yourself and listen to your feelings. What do you really want? What thoughts (or people) are influencing you?
  2. Think of a Mantra and repeat it inwardly. "I do what I want", or "I am completely calm" - such short sentences strengthen your inner power.
  3. Boundary yourself externally when necessary. Withdraw for a while to consider a decision. Tell your counterpart that you need this time to think.
  4. Talk to trusted people about your inner struggles. Tell your partner that your inner child needs more variety, physical closeness or security. Talk about your wishes, because very few people can read minds.
  5. Formulate positive beliefsthat strengthen your self-esteem. You have the right to your own time, your needs are important, you are allowed to say no.
  6. Let your inner child have its say: It does not only stand for your Childhood memoriesbut also for your more or less repressed needs.

Living with your own needs - and growing with them

Your individual needs sometimes make you waver: You want to have more money, but not work so much. You want an adventurous life, but don't want to take long trips. You want Mindfulness but you are often exposed to stressful phases. On top of that, there are the many demands that other people have on you. How can you reconcile all that?

Think about your inner child. Look for a good balance between need fulfillment and compromise. In life, things always go up and down a bit - and so do pots of needs. Over time, you'll find your own way to fulfill your needs or adapt them to your life situation. Because needs evolve, and so does your personality.


A guide for your future
- Find your true vision

Do you know what really drives you at the core? With just three simple exercises, you will be able to visualize your energy, identify your desires, and define your biggest goal!



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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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