When a love comes to an end, the pain is great. You no longer feel like a complete person and withdraw from everything. It doesn't help that many people feel the same way. After all, there were over 140,000 divorces in Germany in 2020, according to the Statistics prove. Then there are the many relationships without a marriage certificate that break up. And yet many people ask themselves the same question: "How can I come to terms with my separation?
How can you overcome such a separation? With time, the pain of separation should subside, and you can do something yourself to make it better. Psychological tips will help you on the way to a more relaxed attitude.
It takes a while to work through the pain of your breakup. There is no timetable, nor is there a panacea. How long does it take you to process your breakup? When will your emotional injuries heal? Every person ticks in his or her own way and processes the breakup in an individual way. It can take two weeks, three months or over a year to come to terms with a breakup.
The theme The Pain of Separation plays a big role in your personal development. At Greator you will learn a lot about the inner connections and the characteristics of psychological problems. The reason for this is the strong influence that relationships and also separations have on your entire attitude towards life.
Your dreams are shaken by the break-up after a long, intense relationship. The whole future seems to be on shaky ground. This is already evident in the drastic changes to everyday life that a separation brings with it. If the partners live together, a move is imminent: Are they both moving out or just one? If there are children, it becomes even more difficult. And a separation often shakes up old beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not lovable" or "I'm not worthy of love". Fear of loss on.
It's over - these words introduce a difficult phase. Even if you don't want to admit the pain: It is important that you can process the breakup. The following nine tips will help you do that:
In psychology, processing separation is a big topic. At toxic relationships extreme reactions occur. Those who are already aggressive quickly take their anger out on their ex-partner or other people. Addicted individuals quickly turn to alcohol or drugs to dampen their grief. In difficult cases, the end of a relationship triggers traumatic experiences, for example when children suffer from the separation.
When a family breaks up, it's not just the parents who have to come to terms with the separation. The children also need help to cope with the drastic change. A difficult phase begins, which may be marked by fears and a search for identity. With the divorce, the parents hope to solve their problems. This can also be a relief for children, since the constant quarrels are over. But the distance between the parents, who were always together before, puts a strain on the children. The emotional pressure is correspondingly great.
Try to self-honestly reflect on your issues that a breakup brings. This self-knowledge sometimes hurts, but it is also a wonderful way to heal.
Processing separation despite contact - this case occurs when the former couple has common children and/or continues to have the same friends and hobbies. Here it is difficult to keep a distance internally and leave the relationship level out of it. It becomes particularly problematic if one of the ex-partners still has Hope has on a revival of the relationship.
For children, it is easier when parents continue to meet on good terms. For parents, however, this new ordinariness is a burden. There are a few points that need special attention:
For the adult couples and also for the children, self-esteem is very important. A strong identity equips them for the future and makes them capable of relating.
When a relationship ends, the pain of separation must be processed. Men and women deal with this differently. Women usually grieve with lots of tears and endless conversations. They let themselves be comforted by their girlfriends, to whom they lament their sorrow. Men, on the other hand, often play it cool and soon go out again.
An Binghamton University study in New York confirms this cliché: women react very strongly emotionally when they process a breakup. They analyze the relationship and often feel guilty. They suffer emotionally and intensely.
In contrast, men push the emotional work away from themselves and act as if they are finally free. They appear loud and aggressive. But repressing the emotions doesn't help; it only drags out the processing time.
In other words, women suffer intensely and briefly, while men repress and thus suffer longer. If you do not allow your pain, the risk of worse psychological problems increases. That is why it is better if you can consciously process the breakup. Allow yourself to accept the individual phases during the breakup, let them be there, go through them and come into the feeling.
Coming to terms with a breakup emotionally and mentally - that can take time. Especially if you've been dumped and don't understand the reasons. Also, processing a breakup as a breakup artist is not always easy. The following five steps show how most people overcome the pain of a breakup.
In the course of these five phases, you become clearly aware of your own feelings. An end always conceals a new beginning. That doesn't have to mean that you jump right into the next relationship. Rather, take your time during the separation phase.
Not every relationship lasts forever and high expectations are rarely fulfilled. Depending on the situation, a friendly relationship can develop between the ex-partners. Especially if there are children, this is a significant point. Badmouthing the other person is not a good idea, because everyone involved suffers from it. Angry outbursts and slights also do not help anyone.
Coming to terms with the end of a relationship is difficult and takes a long time. The breakup throws you completely off track - nothing is the same as it was. Give yourself time to grieve and to sort out your thoughts. With the necessary calmness, you will go through the separation phases from the repression to the Acceptance.
The Greator Relationship Webinar helps you to assess your relationship - or the end of a relationship - correctly. You will learn a lot about conflict management and your own wishes. A clear Communication is just as important as a positive attitude. The specific tips will get you back on track and boost your self-esteem.
