Not everything works out as hoped. Then you feel betrayed, disappointed and depressed. How could you have been so wrong? Was the outcome not to be expected? Sometimes even a canceled meeting throws you off track. In your job, too, there are always disappointments - the boss is not happy with your work. happyyou don't get a bonus...
Some people seem to have less trouble putting away such setbacks. What about you? Disappointments are hard to avoid, but perhaps you can learn to overcome them more easily. Always remember: disappointment exposes deception. In fact, there's a lot you can do to help yourself cope with bad experiences.
What are disappointments?
The higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment - this basic idea leads many people to scale back their hopes. You are not in control of things. Other people and the passage of time influence what happens. In a friendship or love relationship, affection is not always balanced - one likes the other more than the other - and that leads to unfulfilled desires. If you want a certain gift and get something completely different instead, you are also disappointed.
The disappointment comes from the fact that what happens does not meet your expectations. For that you recognize the reality. Disappointment involves uncovering the deeper layers. On the one hand there are your desires and needs, on the other hand there is reality. The discrepancy between the two makes up the degree of disappointment. With this definition it shows that disappointment is different from the original Deception free.
The 3 most common causes of disappointment
Where do the disappointments come from, what triggers this sense of Dissatisfaction out? Basically, there are three main causes that trigger three different types of disappointment: False promises, unrealistic hopes, and self-deception.
1. false promises arise from the deliberate deception of others. Sometimes the supposed friends or colleagues also misjudge a situation: so it does not have to be malicious deception. Such a disappointment is unpredictable; moreover, you have no control over the situation. Especially with supposedly good friends you are deeply disappointed and feel betrayed.
2. unrealistic expectations are your own responsibility, even if that sounds harsh. This can be a misjudgement or related to too high expectations of others. Some people blame others, even though their own attitude caused the disappointment.
3. self-deception often arises from impatience and a false self-image. Perfectionism is a good example.
If it is your own attitude that leads to disappointment, you can do something about it. Expectations about the future can be adjusted to reality so as not to succumb to illusions. By doing so, you reduce the risk of disappointment.
I don't want to be disappointed anymore - what can I do?
Have fewer expectations to avoid disappointment - that sounds logical. But you can't control your hopes all the time. Besides, dreams and expectations are not a bad thing. After all, they make people do extraordinary things. It's better to prepare yourself for possible disappointments: Then you'll be relieved when things don't turn out so bad.
For example, you're hoping for the new job and eagerly preparing for the interview. You are already imagining how the first day at work will be. At the same time you have Fearthat you will be rejected. You still can't put your expectations aside. In this situation, you are prepared to be disappointed, but you still try your best. In other situations, too, it is worth taking a chance. With courage and a certain foresight, you move forward without letting yourself be deterred by small obstacles. If you don't even try, the fear of disappointment paralyzes you. But maybe you will succeed.
Resilience protects against disappointment
If it doesn't work out with the job or with other projects, the disappointment is there. You see the truth for what it is. Is that such a bad thing? If you made a mistake yourself, you know what to do differently next time. If someone else is responsible, there's nothing you can do about it. Just look ahead and move on, allowing your own disappointed feelings without letting them beat you down - that's how you take heart.
You cannot avoid disappointment. When you realize that, you automatically feel stronger: you allow the possibility to be disappointed. You know that you can stand this feeling. This Resilience protects you from being hurt by other people.
How can I avoid disappointing others?
Everyday psychology deals not only with your own disappointments, but also with the disappointments you inflict on others. If you make a mistake and disappoint someone, it is important to clarify the problem. Apologize, talk to the people involved. Not all people show their disappointment, so in some cases you will need a lot of empathy and sensitivity.
Denial is not a good idea. If you are responsible, you should admit it. So stand by your actions and stay honest. This builds your own character and makes the disappointed feel better. You can explain the reasons for your actions and limit the damage as much as possible or maybe even make amends. Then the disappointed people also believe that improvement is in sight. Apologies can be difficult, especially with family and friends. But in doing so, you show great appreciation for interpersonal relationships. Relationship.
9 tips that will help you overcome disappointment
You are disappointed and hurt, but there are good ways to get out of this low. You can't avoid disillusionment, but you can deal with it constructively. A few proven methods will help you to do this.
Accept your negative feelings. Frustration and disappointment are normal in such a case. But also see the positive impulses, because after all you have discovered a deception and can learn from it.
Discover the cause. What exactly annoys you? What is the relationship between your expectations and what actually happened? How did you influence the outcome? Was it self-deception or are others responsible? With constructive Self-reflection you'll get somewhere.
Let out the anger. People who communicate their disappointment are often better able to process what they have experienced. Talk about it or write down your feelings. This will help you blow off steam and gain some distance. This can help you avoid overly short reactions. Allegations are not very constructive; a factual discussion is better.
Don't assign blame, even if you feel you are in the right. By doing so, you drive the alleged perpetrators into a defensive posture. Justifications don't get anyone anywhere. Instead, talk calmly to those responsible and ask them about possible reasons for their wrong behaviour. This will de-escalate the situation. Besides, both sides will understand each other better if you talk to each other.
Look for distractions and stop the brooding. When something hasn't worked out, many people end up in a negative thought vortex. This worsens the bad mood and can lead to a depressive episode. It's better to slow down this spiral and do something completely different. Go outside and go for a jog. Treat yourself to a stroll around town or distract yourself with an exciting movie. Do meditation exercises or relaxing Breathing techniques also help to switch off and come down.
Take a different point of view. Imagine you are on the other side, or talk to outsiders about the disappointment. By gaining a new perspective, you will distance yourself internally. In the best case, you will find an explanation for the misbehaviour that caused the disappointment. Often new insights arise from the previously unknown perspective.
Don't be too vindictive. Forgiveness helps both: the disappointed and the disappointed. Mistakes are human and it's not worth getting angry about them forever. When you forgive, you overcome disappointment. Feelings of revenge and bitterness are mood killers that will only make you unhappy make. It is better to get rid of this burden.
Be patiently - in the case of serious disappointments, it may take you several weeks to get over them. Especially with Relationship problems like betrayal, you need time to work through the hurt. However, you shouldn't let yourself go too much. By inner peace and patience, you will soon regain your strength and sovereignty.
Learn from disappointments and draw consequences. Dealing with disappointments means that you don't just get over them and forget about them afterwards. Through a constructive handling with a disappointment you are prepared for similar cases and recognize the warning signs.
5 sayings to deal with disappointment
There are many wise people who have given interesting sayings about disappointments. In the selected quotes you will recognize life wisdom that will help you to process. Self-awareness can be found as well as the hope for a positive development.
"One is not disappointed in what another does (or does not do), but only in one's own expectation of the other." (Mark Twain)
"All other disappointments are small compared to those we experience in ourselves." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach)
"Love disappointment. For they free you from a delusion." Wolfgang J. Reus
"Disappointments don't kill and hopes make you live." George Sand
"One of the most fatal disappointments is the one that paralyzes the courage to change." Gjergj Perluca
Disappointment - definition and assistance
Disappointment is often the logical result of self-deception, but it can also be caused by common problems in life. With the Greator Visions Challenge you strengthen your resilience and cope better with disappointments. We take you by the hand so that you can finally find out what can take up more space in your life and what you should now let go of!
There are so many more good things than bad experiences - and even the negative contains positive power. This is reflected in the fact that you can learn from your mistakes. The further development of your personality makes you strong for later disappointments and helps you through life, privately and professionally. Whether you have special accomplish goals You don't have to shy away from disappointments anymore.
In 3 steps to your vocation
You ask yourself the question more often, where you want to go in your life? Then let the experienced life coaches Christina and Walter Hommelsheim show you, what steps you can take to really live them.