Train your self-control to achieve goals

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Train your self-control to achieve goals

Some days we are unmotivated and unable to control our actions. We lose sight of our goals because we lack the necessary self-control. A certain amount of self-control is important to work in a disciplined way and to make decisions.

Too much self-control, on the other hand, is rather a hindrance. Excessive urge to control is restrictive. Behind the urge to control are negative Beliefs or other mental blocks. It is thus a matter of creating a balance between control addiction and necessary self-control.

Self-control: what is it?

The term self-control refers to the ability to control one's actions and carefully consider decisions. The self-control definition describes behavior that serves personal goals. As synonyms for this term are also used self-discipline or self-control is used.

These words describe the same principle. It is about controlling feelings and impulses that need to be suppressed for various reasons. Often, self-control is for one's own good. For example, when losing weight. In this case, the beloved bar of chocolate, the piece of cake or a sumptuous meal is renounced in favor of a good figure.

Eliminating foods from the menu through self-control is necessary to change eating behavior. Self-discipline then prevents falling back into old behavior patterns again and again.

Marshmallow Test

In the 1960s, the U.S. personality psychologist Walter Mischel conducted some experiments on self-control. The participants in this procedure, which later became known as the Marshmallow Test were presented with a sweet (marshmallow). They were then asked not to snack on it immediately. The foam candy was not to be eaten until the experimenter re-entered the room after a short break.

However, some children could not wait that long. The sight of tempting sweets was so great that their self-control was not sufficient for this. On the instructions of the test leader, they were first to ring a bell and then allowed to eat the marshmallow. To all the participants who took so long patiently waited for the experimenter to return after about 15 minutes, were promised two marshmallows as a reward.

This study was recorded and has since been regarded as a benchmark for assessing the individual's capacity for self-control. The ability to control oneself in certain situations is classified as a positive personality trait. In leadership positions, a high degree of self-control is assumed.

Why self-control is important?

Behavior characterized by impulsiveness and rashness is associated with a lack of self-control. In business and in dealing with other people, self-control is a desirable quality. If you act in a disciplined manner, without letting yourself be guided by impulses, you make objective decisions. If you can control yourself, you behave in such a way that personal goals are achieved more quickly. The ability to control oneself is more decisive for one's career than intelligence.


Often the terms self-control / self-regulation are used synonymously. Self-regulation and self-control can complement each other, but they can also contradict each other. Self-regulation refers to the ability to adapt one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior to the situation at hand. Self-control meaning, on the other hand, refers to control of the self as well as individual actions.

Risks of self-control

When is too much control counterproductive? When the urge to control develops into a compulsion to control, the pressure eventually becomes too great. People who do not allow themselves to make mistakes usually have little understanding for the missteps of others and thus become outsiders. Excessive self-control can make people ill. If one overdoes it with self-discipline, one risks becoming dissatisfied and depressed, or on the Burnout to fall ill.

learn self control

5 common obstacles to self-control

Self-control can be learned. How pronounced this ability is depends on your own personality and the time of day. When you are exhausted, it takes a lot of strength to control yourself. Other obstacles to self-control are:

  1. Lack Motivation
  2. Lack of understanding that self-control brings something
  3. Stress and problems
  4. Inner blockages
  5. Unfavorable behavior patterns

Lack MotivationThe ability to control one's own actions is a major obstacle. If we lack the insight that self-control is of any use at all, it is difficult to exercise moderation. Stress and problems to solve prevent us from exercising self-control.

Our behavior is influenced by inner blockages. Unfavorable behavior patterns quickly become the Habit and are then difficult to change. It can also be difficult when two different goals contradict each other. If you want to lose weight and still invite your friends to the cake buffet on your birthday, this can be a challenge for your self-control.

Controlling yourself also means looking at defeat as an opportunity and just moving on.

How to train your self-control

You can train self-control. In the long run, this will improve your ability to control yourself in difficult situations. One way to practice voluntary self-control is to stay away from temptations. This means simply not keeping sweets at home when losing weight.

However, don't overestimate yourself. You can't always say "no" when you're offered a piece of chocolate or cake. Go mindful with yourself. Give yourself a reward now and then. This will make it easier for you to control your desires.

The ability to control oneself is partly genetic. The techniques that help to control oneself can basically be trained by anyone. Remember that self-control is not a must, but always an option. You decide for yourself how you behave.

Self-control can be strengthened with thought power. Imagine how successful you will be if you resist temptations and focus on your goals. A sense of achievement helps you persevere. Keep a success diary and record your progress.

Strengthen your self-control through your environment and routines: 5 tips

You want to learn self-control? With the support of your environment and your routines you acquire mental strength. Self-discipline helps to achieve your full Potential exploit. We have compiled five tips for you that are useful for strengthening self-control:

  1. Set realistic goals
  2. Avoid negative thoughts
  3. Reward yourself for partial successes
  4. Be binding
  5. Learn to relax

Set realistic goals. Self-regulation and self-control are not learned overnight. Practice regularly to integrate controlled behavior into your daily life.

Avoid negative thoughts

Avoid negative thoughts. If you are not confident in yourself, it is difficult to develop new skills. Reward yourself for partial success. Do not overtax yourself so that you do not lose the desire to exercise self-control.

Be committed and follow through with what you set out to do. Use your personal rhythm to get your chores done. For early risers, the time before the lunch break is best, while late risers do not perform at their best until the early afternoon.

Do not act impulsively

Act in a controlled manner instead of impulsively! Emotional self-control is especially important at work, when dealing with annoying colleagues, in meetings, and during performance reviews. Try to avoid too much self-control. Extremely controlled people often appear unsympathetic to those around them.

Are you a person who likes to control? Why is that? What happens inside you when you lose control? What does it feel like? What does that trigger in you?

What kind of person would you be without the urge to control? What would that feel like? Make Sportswhen you're stressed. Exercise is an excellent outlet for stress relief. When it comes to impulse control, a Coaching be helpful.

Find inner balance with meditation

Inner tension can also be relieved with Relaxation techniques solve. The Meditation is known for its many positive effects on the soul, mind and body. When learning to meditate can help you Greator Meditation Challenge help you regain your inner balance.

When you are relaxed, you control your emotions better and control your impulses and actions more consciously. Feelings should not be suppressed, but perceived. Ask yourself what situation has triggered this feeling in you. During a meditation you dive into your own Awareness and learn to simply feel feelings without judgment.

Develop a Routine, which will help you manage your daily life and practice self-control. Be committed. Talk to others about your plans and goals. Ask for support or feedback, involve family or friends in your plans.


The ability to control one's own actions and carefully weigh decisions is called self-control. This ability can be learned and trained.

A high degree of self-control is required on the job: Through realistic Objectives, positive thoughts, commitment and can this quality be strengthened so that one's own potential can be fully exploited.

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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