Is the relationship on the brink of breaking up? These are the 5 most common signs
You're not invested in your relationship anymore
Do you prefer to spend your free time with your friends lately? Does it annoy you when partners suddenly want to come along to the company party? If this is the case, then the traffic light is already on dark yellow.
Have you not had a romantic weekend with your partner in a while? In truth, do you no longer feel like spending time with him or her? If this is the case, then the traffic light has already jumped to red.
Your alarm bells should be ringing loudly right now. Because something seems to be going wrong in your relationship and you should ask yourself what it could be. And above all, you may ask yourself what you can do about it.
You find physical closeness unpleasant
You know this? Your partner snuggles up with you under the covers. He is looking for tenderness or wants sex? But you flinch and would like to jump out of bed again?
Heads up! This is a clear sign that you are no longer attracted to your partner. Again, you should think about the reason why you find your partner uncomfortable to be around.
Imagine sitting on a bench and gazing dreamily at the sky. What are you thinking about? Maybe your next vacation? A new start in another city? And what role does your partner play in your future?
If your partner is missing from your vision, then your relationship is in bad shape. You may even wish for a future without a partner, because you would feel much better without them.
As soon as such trains of thought occur more frequently, something is going terribly wrong. In this way, your subconscious wants to make it clear to you that you have already written off your partner.
You don't care what your partner thinks about you...
You and your partner fight every day. Day by day, it gets worse. In the beginning, you racked your brain about what to do about it. But those days have been over for some time now.
Frustration has given way to indifference. You don't care what your partner thinks about you. If he criticizes you, you don't care! If he nags you - never mind! You don't mind because he means less and less to you and you'd rather be somewhere else.
That's a frightening realization. A truth that hurts. However, if you've come to this, then you know that maybe you should end your relationship. Even though it hurts, it's still the right thing to do.
Every little thing turns into a fight
After lunch you forget to put the milk in the fridge. Suddenly the situation escalates. "What's the matter with you?" your partner yells at you. "What is it now? That was just the milk"you answer annoyed.
Do you often get into pointless arguments over trivial matters? Would you like to slam the door behind you and run out of the house? Watch out! This is also a bad sign for an unhappy relationship.
Constant arguments over nothing are a sign that your interest in your partner is mendacious. Especially if the quarrels happen over a long period of time, you should seriously question your relationship.
More signs that the relationship is about to end:
With friends & family, you speak ill of each other.
Mutual caring is not present in the relationship.
You and your partner have lost respect for each other.
Important decisions are only made individually.
You're seriously thinking about having an affair.
You don't care how your partner reacts to your behavior.
It's been a long time since you've told each other how much you love each other.
You wouldn't care if your partner left you tomorrow.
Your partner constantly nags you and wants to change you.
How to deal with heartbreak?
That's it. Your partner left you. The relationship is over. He's gone and he's not coming back. Never again!
Suddenly you're sitting alone in your big house. This beautiful house that you wanted to grow old in together. The house you wanted to see your children grow up in. That dream is gone. For good. Forever.
Your heart's bleeding. It's shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. You want to scream your grief to the world... But you can't. You don't have the strength. You're devastated. You feel empty. Burnt out. Exhausted.
All around you is a yawning emptiness. The heartbreak eats you up. You ask yourself: What will happen now? Will I be unhappy forever?
Even if you believe otherwise. Your heartache will pass. The clouds will part and sunshine will come back into your life. You'll be happy again Enjoying life. Laughing. Singing. And soon wake up next to a partner who loves you and makes you happy. At the right time. In your time.
However, until that time comes, you have to go through the valley of tears. In order for you to succeed and overcoming your heartbreak, we would now like to take you through the 5 stages of heartbreak.
The 5 stages of heartbreak
Phase 1: Recognize signs
As already mentioned, no separation occurs abruptly. It is always preceded by a longer process of alienation. The signs of this are often suppressed. Over time, however, they accumulate, which brings the barrel to overflow.
Already in this phase we block out reality and believe to have everything under control. But we don't have that. We like to suppress and sweep problems under the table. And that is the beginning of the end.
Phase 2: The moment of solidification
Your partner has broken up with you. The shock is deep. Despair spreads. The sky is falling and we have to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over.
It feels like a loved one has stepped out of our lives forever. The world suddenly seems bleak and grey. The consequence: our private and professional everyday life gets out of joint. The world stands still.
Phase 3: Negotiation or activism
The initial paralysis subsides. The shock isn't so hard anymore. Your head becomes clearer. You think about how things can go on for you in the future. The phase of negotiation or activism sets in.
The euphoria of the past returns and you think about whether there is a way to win back your ex-partner. Professions of love follow. One swears better.
However, the ex-partner feels overwhelmed and goes even further at a distance. In this way, the chance of a new beginning is finally destroyed.
Suddenly there is a lack of understanding about the reaction of the ex-partner. This is often followed by a loss of emotional control, which finally seals the end of the relationship.
Phase 4: Admission or anger
Slowly you begin to accept that the relationship is over. On a logical level, it is now clear that the ex-partner will not come back. What remains is hope.
But that hope quickly turns to anger. You may ask yourself: "What could I have done better?" and Should I have fought for my ex-partner?" or "What can I do?".
Phase 5: Acceptance or despair
"My ex-partner will never come back to me. We'll never sit at the breakfast table together again. Never laugh together again. Wwe will never cry for joy again. Never again say I love you."
Even if you feel desperate at this moment, that's okay. Because now your healing process begins. The shards of your heart are putting themselves back together and now it's time for you to find new joy in life.
How to find your way back into life after the end of a relationship
The relationship is over. The heartbreak is over. But what happens now? How do you manage to find a new partner with whom you can have a long-term and happy relationship?
7 useful tips to make your love happiness perfect
You are an independent person. Your partner is an independent person. And this independence must also be preserved in a relationship. In many cases, however, the absolute opposite happens. Often there is always one partner who subordinates himself to the other.
Over the years, quite a lot of frustration accumulates in this way. Because if you watch your partner's back and put your own interests behind, then you only become his shadow. And when the breakup comes, you are even more unhappy, because in the past you only lived for your partner and not for yourself.
For this reason, it is important that you maintain your independence. Pursue your goals and realize your dreams. Because that's how you create a relationship at eye level. And that is the basis for you to remain happy and satisfied with your partner even into old age.
2. magic moments
A happy relationship cannot be taken for granted. For this reason, it is important to regularly create magical moments with which the old love is rekindled. After all, you want to wake up every morning and recall the beautiful moments that connect you with your partner.
How about a romantic weekend in a snowy mountain hut? Or why don't you just spontaneously get in the car and drive to the sea? Make a list of five romantic dates you'd like to do with your partner in the near future.
Because in the end, it is the particularly beautiful memories that stay with us. These memories and shared experiences help to make the bond in the partnership even stronger. So, what are you waiting for? What magical moment do you want to create with your partner?
Are you and your partner living past each other? Or do you have common goals that you are pursuing? Do you have a common passion that binds you closer together? The fact is: Shared goals promote lasting happiness in love and thus make the relationship better.
This could be a joint project or an area of interest, for example. Think about what topics you are both passionate about. What could you do together that would make you happy and satisfied?
Our tip: Sit down at the table with your partner. Think about the topic that both your hearts beat for and then go into action. Are you interested in the welfare of animals? Good, then how about supporting animal welfare?
4. leave room for manoeuvre
Your partner would rather do something with his friends on the weekend than spend the evening with you? Does this drive you crazy? Do you feel offended and make a scene with him because of it? Beware. Especially the latter is one of the worst relationship killers ever.
Constricting your partner, limiting his freedom, constant clinging or controlling only puts him at a distance from you. And therefore: Leave your partner his freedom. He will appreciate you all the more for it, because you trust him. And for that he will show his gratitude to you.
The same goes for you, of course. Because as we have already learned, a good relationship is not a one-way street. You too are welcome to spend time alone or with friends. As the saying goes, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours."
5. accept weaknesses
You had a date with your partner and he is half an hour late again? He has not repaired the gutter, although he had promised? He sits in front of the Playstation again the whole evening and plays some childish computer games?
Is that why you might hit the roof again? The truth is, everyone has their weaknesses. Their bad qualities. Including you. I'm sure there are behavioral traits that drive your partner up the wall as well. That's perfectly normal.
It is only important that you accept this and do not constantly nag your partner. This often leads to a useless situation building up. And that in turn leads to an argument that could have been prevented by a little tolerance. Our tip: Be a little more lenient with your partner. He loves you and doesn't mean any harm.
You want to spend a cosy evening on the sofa with your partner at the weekend? Your partner, on the other hand, would like to go with you to the long-awaited concert of his favorite band? How do you decide? Do you force your will on him or do you submit to him? What is the right decision?
The answer: Both are wrong! Imposing your own will as well as submissiveness has no place in a relationship. Because a relationship is good when communication takes place at eye level. And that without exception. Always.
In this context, it is important to compromise. So if your partner really wants to go to the concert of his favorite band, accompany him and make him happy. After all, he loves you. He'll remember that and enjoy spending an evening with you on the sofa next time. After all, he also wants you to be happy.
7. sex is important
"Let's talk about sex baby."sang Salt-N-Pepa already at the beginning of the 90s. And yes, we have to talk about sex in conclusion. Because Sex is one of the most important pillars of a partnership. Admittedly, with the years, sex often becomes less. And something can be done about it.
However, lust and passion can not be forced. That is why it is important to seduce your partner again and again. On a sexual level, this is the definition of a good relationship. You may ask yourself: What blocks me? Why is it hard for me to give myself to my partner and just let myself go. Take it a step further: What kind of relationship did your parents model for you? Do you associate love with friendship, distance, struggle or passion?
So why don't you get dressed up again? Go out on the town? Why don't you go back to your first dates? Because that's how you evoke not only old thoughts, but also emotions. At this point, just think of five examples that you can use to bring a little more passion back into your relationship.
Conclusion: A happy relationship is not a product of chance
With the tips in this article, you'll be ready to go out into the world and find love. Finally, please keep one thing in mind: Even if you've been through an upsetting breakup and currently no longer believe in the great love - this thought is not true. And most importantly, it's not set in stone. There is the right partner out there for you, too, with whom you can lead a happy and, above all, fulfilled life.
What is the next step? What steps can you take next? We would like to invite you to a free online seminar with Walter and Christina Hommelsheim. In the webinar, the two coaches will show you how they found their personal love happiness.
The coaching couple talks openly about how they dissolved negative beliefs and found each other. You can register for the online seminar with Christina and Walter now for free. We wish you a lot of fun and are looking forward to your feedback. Click here to register. Take part in the online seminar now free of charge!
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