Heartache: how you can overcome it and grow from it

Reading time 6 minutes
Heartache: how you can overcome it and grow from it

The term heartache initially sounds like romantic movies and cheesy novels. The fact that it is actually a serious cardiological condition - known in specialist circles as stress cardiomyopathy or Broken Heart Syndrome only very few people know this. We show you how you can overcome your heartache and grow emotionally from this experience.

The pain of loss: when love hurts

Whether it is the death of a loved one, a painful separation or a traumatic experience, the human heart can actually break in a figurative sense. The fact that body and soul are closely interrelated has been scientifically proven for many years. The example of stress cardiomyopathy shows just how true this is.

But what exactly happens in the body? After an emotionally stressful event, those affected experience the same symptoms as with a heart attack: shortness of breath, chest tightness, fear of death. However, the laboratory and ECG remain unremarkable. Nevertheless, the heartache is by no means imaginary. Experts assume that the symptoms are triggered by an excess of stress hormones.

In the case of clinical broken heart syndrome, hospitalization is necessary. But even if this extreme case does not occur, the severe pain of loss has a massive impact on lifestyle. Other physical symptoms such as loss of appetite and sleep disorders are not uncommon.

Self-care in times of heartbreak: the importance of self-love

Who is under a broken hearts suffering should pay all the more attention to their mental state. Admittedly, this is easier said than done. Nevertheless, try to keep your own Needs and to fulfill them: What would feel particularly good for you right now? Anything that helps you is allowed.

Also free yourself from the thought of guilt. Even if you have actually failed in your relationship, you still deserve to be loved, especially by yourself. You still deserve to do something good for yourself and enjoy life. Keep reminding yourself of this fact. How healing self-love can be has been demonstrated in various Studies proven.

heartache lovesickness

Why it's okay to grieve: emotional processing of heartache

Anyone suffering from heartache wants to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Men in particular often tend to suppress the unpleasant feelings. However, this strategy is only successful for a limited time, if at all. Sooner or later, in most cases, a physical or mental breakdown occurs.

To avoid this scenario, it is important to familiarize yourself with the Time to grieve. If there is no mourning, the event cannot be processed. At this point, however, it is important to mention that everyone grieves in their own individual way. Some people find it liberating to cry out loud, while others prefer to spend their time crying. Sports or express their grief creatively.

Questions that heal: the art of self-reflection

When you find yourself in a difficult phase of life, the question of why is omnipresent: why did something like this have to happen to you? However, this question is merely exhausting, as you will never receive a satisfactory answer. However, there are questions that can help you to look at your heartache from a new perspective.

What questions you can ask yourself to get to the bottom of the causes of heartache

  • What am I really mourning?
  • Do I have old Beliefs in me that promote my heartache?
  • Do I see myself as lovable?
  • What can I actively change to make myself feel better?
  • What can I learn from the current situation?
  • How have I dealt with heartache in the past?
  • What can I still do grateful be?

How self-reflection can lead to clarity and acceptance

Self-reflection is of fundamental importance for healing heartache. By exploring why a certain situation is causing you so much pain, you can work on yourself in a targeted way. You will realize what is bothering you in your life and what you would like to change in the future.

Reflecting also helps you to understand the current situation. acceptby dealing with it in a constructive way. As already mentioned, not admitting to heartache prevents you from processing it emotionally.

Seeking support: Going through heartache together

Dealing with heartache alone is not easy. That's why you shouldn't be afraid to openly ask friends and family for support. Talking to a trusted person and being able to get your grief off your chest feels very healing. In addition, an outsider can mirror your situation much better and show you new perspectives and solutions.

However, not everyone is lucky enough to have friends and family around them. Sometimes the other people you trust are simply not the right people to talk to in certain life situations. In severe cases of heartache, professional support from a coach or therapist is advisable.

As part of professional coaching, you will learn, negative beliefs and dissolve them. Inner blockages are one of the most common reasons why you are unable to overcome heartache.

The lessons of heartbreak: growth through pain

You emerge stronger from crises. Surely you have these Wisdom I've often heard that too. In professional circles, the so-called post-traumatic growth the speech. Heartache reshapes your values and priorities. You realize what really matters to you in life and learn to stand up for it.

You will also learn for the future: anyone who has had to live through a more or less self-inflicted heartbreak catastrophe will certainly not act in a similar way a second time.

Redefining love: Looking to the future

In common parlance, heartache is often associated with lovesickness. In fact Separation pain is one of the most common triggers for broken heart syndrome. But here too, pain offers you an opportunity for growth. Seize the chance to overcome your failed reflect on your relationship and your values with regard to a partnership to redefine it.

The mistakes of the Past nothing can be changed. However, you can use the knowledge you have gained to have a fulfilling relationship in the future: What values would be important to you in a future partnership? In which areas could you work on yourself so that a similar situation doesn't happen again?

5 tips for overcoming heartache: finding the path to healing

It takes time for the heartache to pass. Nevertheless, there are a few tips to help you get through this sometimes painful process as well as possible:

1. don't be too hard on yourself

Could I have avoided this somehow? With heartache it is not uncommon for Guilt a role. Self-reflection is important, but should not be confused with self-judgment. Also, be lenient with yourself if you are temporarily less able to perform in everyday life and at work. Take time to grieve.

2. separate yourself (temporarily) from mementos

To overcome heartache, you should banish all mementos, at least in the acute phase. Also avoid places and venues where you were with your ex-partner. The same applies to movies and music that remind you of your failed relationship.

If the heartache is due to a death, the same applies. Of course, you can retrieve the meaningful mementos as soon as you have stabilized emotionally.

3. get creative and / or take part in sporting activities

Find a (healthy) outlet for your heartache. Sport helps many people to clear their heads. Perhaps you would also like to process your heartache by writing or painting? One tried and tested method is to write a letter to the person responsible for your heartache. But be careful: don't send it! The letter is a closure for you.

4. new perspectives

In the acute phase of heartbreak, everything seems gray and without perspective. This makes it all the more important that you look for new goals. What have you always wanted to do? Learn a foreign language or visit a certain country? Perhaps now is exactly the right time to do so.

5. acceptance

Acceptance is important for overcoming grief. Let go of the wishful thinking that everything will go back to the way it was. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can look to the future with hope.


Heartbreak is painful, but it can also be a source of personal transformation. Through self-care, reflection and support, you can find the path to healing and emerge stronger from this challenge. In this context, we would like to offer you our free masterclass on the topic of Resolve conflicts peacefully to the heart.

In just 60 minutes, you'll learn how to stop solving conflicts with lazy compromises and get rid of them once and for all. We'll also show you how to deal with conflict situations in the future. more serene to enable a constructive exchange with your conflict partner. In this way, you will bring more harmony into your relationship.


Is your relationship healthy?

Find out, Whether your relationship is toxic! Our free relationship quiz will help you see if you're in a harmful relationship - or if everything is in the green.
Only 4 minutes
Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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