Couples therapy: professional help for your relationship problems

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Couples therapy: professional help for your relationship problems

There's a lot of friction in your relationship. Every day you argue - or avoid each other. Do you still love each other? Does it all still make sense? Or have you been plaguing yourselves with problems for a long time? Now your partner comes up with a new idea. But what is the point of couples therapy? Can it still help you?

To overcome the relationship problems, you may really need professional help. The sooner you start, the better it will work. In fact, it is possible to have a Relationship to repair - or to limit the damage. The professional therapists support you and explain what belongs to a healthy couple relationship. With this input, you can see for yourself whether you still want to be together and what you need to do to make it happen.

What is couple therapy?

Couples therapy serves to clarify relationship conflicts. For many partnerships, the problems have already solidified before - as a last option - they go to the psychotherapist. During the talks, the psychotherapist remains neutral and asks the partners to honesty and respect. It is precisely this openness and Appreciation is often not possible without the presence of a third person.

Maybe your relationship has changed - due to a job, new children and other events. Nevertheless, you should still have time for yourselves. Only then you will feel your unity and love. The impartial marriage therapist will not only point out the current conflicts. He will also make you aware of the positive elements of your relationship. Because they don't just disappear. With his help, you can recognize what can still be saved.

Couples therapy cost

Couples therapy and relationship coaching: what are the differences?

It is difficult to define a clear boundary between couples therapy and relationship/couples coaching. Basically the Coaching train the couples to help themselves. Therapy, on the other hand, focuses on the psychotherapeutic approach and pursues Root Cause Analysis.

At the Couples therapy is to determine the reasons for the problems. Working through the causes and consequences is very time-consuming and can take more than 50 therapy sessions. Depending on the problem, some couples even opt for a lifetime of therapy. In general, traditional couples therapy is process-oriented. By the way, only a trained therapist is allowed to offer this form of therapy.

In a Relationship Coaching the couples receive concrete suggestions on how to solve their problems. This holistic counseling is not a schematized patent remedy. Instead, the coach formulates the important questions and answers about the relationship together with you. With the competent support, you recognize the problems more clearly. In difficult phases, you now know how to better manage your conflicts. The focus of the counseling is on guiding you to help yourself.

What you can expect in couples therapy

You are nervous before the first session. How does couples therapy work? Do you go to the therapist alone or do you go together?

Most often, couples therapy begins with joint sessions. Depending on the problem, the therapist may recommend individual sessions. In these hours the expert deals with your Relationship problems and you formulate your therapy goals together. This also includes the question of whether you want to stay together at all.

Role-playing helps to break through ingrained behavior patterns. Very important: In therapy, you learn to listen to each other properly.

Other couple therapy topics include:

  • Relationship history analysis,
  • Constructive criticism and suggestions,
  • Awareness of one's own desires and awareness of the desires of one's partner,
  • Fears and disappointments,
  • Dealing with anger,
  • Elimination of prejudices and Misunderstandings.

The therapist accompanies you through this process. However, he does not take on the role of the problem solver, but is merely the moderator. With his help you will recognize your reciprocal roles. With time, your trust in the therapist grows and you can talk openly about your feelings. This also strengthens your partnership. After all, you both have an interest in improving your relationship. In the meantime, you will probably blame each other and react defiantly, but gradually you will recognize the reasons and treat each other with more respect.

empathyAppreciation and personal responsibility are the primary goals of couples therapy. In the long run, you will be on the right track and will be able to solve your small and larger conflicts without professional help. This is exactly how a happy partnership works.

You will not get a guarantee of success from any couples therapist. But the Couples therapy success rate turns out to be positive. This analysis shows that the success rate is very high if both partners are interested in the therapy. However, the treatment can also have negative consequences, especially if only one partner wants the couple therapy.

How much does couples therapy cost?

The Costs for couples therapy depend on the length of treatment and other factors. Pay attention to whether the sessions last 60 or 90 minutes when you compare prices. If the problems are severe, you can expect to spend many years in therapy, which will cost a lot.

What does this mean for your thinking - and what does couples therapy cost now?

With some charitable and church organizations, there are free or low-cost Marriage counseling, which cost only 20 euros, for example. However, such an offer is often only valid for a maximum of ten sessions.

A reputable, trained therapist offers sessions for 80 to 150 euros, sometimes more. For couples coaching, it can be a bit cheaper. Depending on the situation, it may make sense to work with two therapists. In this case, the fee costs are doubled.

As an alternative, you might consider online couples therapy. This is convenient and often a bit cheaper than the classic offer of a therapist. When calculating costs, you should check exactly which time units apply. In addition to individual sessions, weekly and monthly rates are sometimes available.

When is couples therapy useful?

Your relationship is in crisis - you finally want clarity. Talk to your partner and make an appointment with a couples therapist. This will take you one step further.

Maybe you already feel in the early days of a relationship unsafe. Even then, couples therapy can help. Some partnerships need strengthening early on. This is especially useful if one of you is struggling with psychological problems.

When does couples therapy help most effectively? There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Success always depends on yourselves - and on how entrenched the conflicts are. Especially for couples who fully commit to therapy, significant improvements can be seen.

Basically, couples therapy is recommended for the following problems:

  • When the partnership is in such a deep crisis that the dispute escalates. Both partners no longer see a way to a solution and they lack the strength to work on themselves together.
  • A stressful situation - due to job, family, relocation - leads to conflicts and seemingly unavoidable disputes.
  • Physical or mental illness of a partner.
  • Destroyed trust through the Infidelity of a partner.
  • Threats and violence within the relationship.
  • Mutual incomprehension and growing emotional distance.
  • Problematic handling of the topic Separation.

When is couples therapy not useful?

In some cases, it just doesn't work anymore. Maybe you don't fit together, the trust is gone - there is no point in therapy anymore. Some partners develop in different directions and then the separation is the better way than the spasmodic staying together, where both suffer in the long term.

With the end of such a relationship, you are free for a new beginning. But when is the end reached? You may even find out in couples therapy.

  • Without a solid foundation, your relationship doesn't stand much of a chance.
  • If one partner is not willing to work on the relationship, couples therapy is of no use.
  • A new love relationship can destroy the basic trust - it would be only fair to end the existing partnership.
  • Differences that cannot be bridged represent a burden and, in the long term, make unhappy.

Particularly problematic are toxic relationships. Often the partners manipulate each other and rob each other of the Joie de vivre and energy. In the worst case, both suffer from their negative feelings without being able to recover. In the meantime, there is a short good mood phase, but underneath, a poisoned mood is smoldering. Before your mental and soon also your physical powers leave you, you should get out of this toxic partnership - with or without therapeutic help.

A good couples therapist recognizes the Warning signs of a toxic relationship. However, if you and your partner can't let go of each other, better try individual therapy. Maybe after a longer period of Treatment time a small chance after all.

The 10 most common questions in couples therapy

Marriage counseling, how does it work? What questions does the therapist ask, can I prepare myself? During couples therapy and marriage counseling, various topics are discussed. With the targeted questions of the experts you will learn a lot about your relationship and the more or less acute problems.

Preparation before the therapeutic session is not necessary. However, with the help of the classic questions, you can get a better idea of where things are going wrong in your partnership. The questions also help you to talk to your partner - not only in the sessions, but also without a facilitator. Honesty is essential.

  1. What have you tried to solve the current relationship problems?
  2. Why do you think you need professional help?
  3. What do you expect from couples therapy - what goal are you aiming for?
  4. What changes are you willing to make to save the partnership?
  5. Are there past Experiences and conflicts that you have not yet processed?
  6. When and why did you fall in love with your partner?
  7. How would you describe your relationship and partnership life together?
  8. What could you do to make your Partnership better and happier to make?
  9. What do you think the likelihood is that you will be able to solve your problems?
  10. Your partner doesn't care about your wishes and hopes: do you? Does he even know about it?

Here's how couples therapy or relationship coaching can help

Couples therapy, relationship coaching or marriage counseling, an outsider can help you talk to your partner again. You lack common ground? You have lost interest, even sexually? Then there are obviously problems in your relationship. With the support of a facilitator, you can find your way back to each other. You can clear up misunderstandings and talk about conflicts without getting angry. Listening can be learned - and for love you have to do something so that it doesn't fall asleep.

At Greator you will learn a lot about Relationships and everything that goes with it. As with so many other things, it is important to work on yourself. Happiness in love does not come by itself - do something for it. Couples therapy accompanies you and shows you what is important.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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