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Put away your insecurity, trust yourself and live self-determined!

Reading time 8 minutes
Put away your insecurity, trust yourself and live self-determined!

"Am I really good enough? What do others think about me? Surely they talk about me behind my back and make fun of me ..." Do you know these thoughts too? Then you seem to struggle with insecurity.

You lack self-confidence, which is why you'd rather hide than shine with your strengths. But do you actually know how much Potential to give away with it? But don't worry, we'll stand by you! We'll show you what your insecurities might be based on and give you valuable tips on how you can become more confident.

Insecurity can be a big problem

Uncertainty often determines your entire everyday life. Whether at work or in your private life, it always resonates and influences your every action and decision. Often it floods you with doubts and stands in the way of your success. It hinders you from achieving your goals and makes you unhappy.

If you let yourself be guided by insecurity again and again, you lock yourself up in a glass dome. Your supposedly safe life takes place inside the dome, but all the exciting things you actually want to experience are outside. But the glass dome called insecurity just won't let you get to them.

Your dreams, strengths and bright future are also outside this dome. Yet they are precisely what drive you and give you self-confidence.

Free yourself from the clutches of insecurity

It is up to you to shatter this glass dome and finally go your way. If you now step out into the world, you may now and then have the feeling that you do not have the situation under control and the insecurity calls you back into its dome. You have Fearbecause you can't predict exactly what's going to happen and you've let yourself get caught again.

But you know what? This uncertainty is part of life. You have to face it and accept that you will not be able to control every situation 100 %. Otherwise, the uncertainty will forever define your life and take away the chance to shape it the way you want. Maybe understanding why people feel insecurity in the first place will help you break out.

Why do humans sometimes feel insecure? A look at evolution

Uncertainty is a completely normal reaction of the body to potential dangers. Millions of years ago, humans were not yet able to feel as secure as they can today. Therefore, his own body warned him early on as soon as he perceived something for which he was not well prepared.

So from that point of view, uncertainty is actually a good thing. The question is how you deal with it. Do you immediately retreat and hide, or do you prepare yourself to face the perceived danger?

If you choose the first option and let the insecurity rule you, it will quickly develop into a permanent condition. The Self-doubt grow and grow and you sink into self-criticism. You hardly trust yourself anymore and prefer to rely on the opinion of others rather than your own.

nervous uncertain

Symptoms of insecurity - How do insecure people behave?

Insecure people usually give themselves away quite easily. They tend to be reserved and prefer to wait to hear what others have to say before they express themselves. They rarely speak up on their own initiative anyway and prefer to speak only when they are addressed directly. If an insecure person is then asked for his opinion, he answers very diplomatically without choosing a side. His voice may even become shaky, his hands sweaty and his face flushed.

Uncertainty can also affect physical well-being at some point. The persistent worries burden the person so much that the body shows increased symptoms of stress. Headaches, stomach aches, hot flashes, shortness of breath and even Panic attacks can be the result.

Why am I insecure? The most common causes

Your insecurity can have countless different reasons. Roughly, the possible causes can be divided into direct and internalized insecurity. You feel direct insecurity when there is a very concrete reason why you feel this way. This could be an exam, a job interview or an important presentation. You have to face a situation that you have never experienced before and you are unsure whether you are well enough prepared. And that's why you feel insecure. Once you have mastered the challenge, however, this feeling quickly disappears.

The situation is different if you have already internalized the insecurity. Here, there is no need for a specific trigger, because your insecurity has already become an integral part of your life. In most cases, the reason for this is a lack of self-confidence. You may also harbor a general fear of failing or of offending someone. disappoint. You believe just don't believe that you can create something on your own.

Another possible cause of internalized insecurity is fear of what others might think. The opinion of those around you is much more important to you than your own, which is why you would rather keep your feet still than do something they don't approve of. You want to be liked by everyone and for that you like to hold back.

All of this is based on low self-esteem, which was often formed in childhood or school years. You are always looking for recognition and fear rejection. Perhaps you have been in the Past You have also too often had the experience that your opinion was not accepted or dismissed. That's why you prefer to become a follower and swim with the current instead of taking your own route. The fear that others might turn away from you is too great.

Overcoming insecurity: 10 tips for more self-confidence

Insecurity behaves much like a snowball. Once it starts rolling, it gets bigger and bigger until it is finally stopped. So as long as you don't do anything about your insecurity, it will continue to grow and affect your life more and more every day.

So waiting and drinking tea is not an option here. Dare to take things into your own hands and finally overcome your insecurity. Surely, right now it will speak up again and say, "You'll never manage to get rid of me anyway!" Yes, all beginnings are hard. But once you've gathered all your courage and started the journey out of the insecurity spell, it gets easier, we promise! With our 10 tips for more Self-confidence we support you in this.

1. accept yourself as you are

Nobody is perfect. Fortunately! How boring would that be, please? Every person has weaknesses or quirks, but it is precisely these that make him the lovable individual that he is. And that's exactly true for you, too!

Do you really think your fellow men will appreciate you less if you don't live up to their expectations now and then? Of course not! You are allowed to have your own opinion and stand up for it. And you can have rough edges and show them.

2. just say the things

There is something that really worries you or you feel very uncomfortable in the current situation because you do not know exactly how to act? That's not a problem at all! Others feel the same way you do. The only difference is that they don't let themselves get caught up in the uncertainty.

Talk openly about how you are feeling right now. There is always someone who can give you a valuable tip and help you feel better.

3. develop a healthy optimism

People who are insecure often basically assume the worst. You believe that everything you tackle will fail anyway. But why do you think that? Self-fulfilling prophecies quickly develop from this approach. Break through the negative wall in your head and force yourself again and again to start from the positive. Eventually, you will succeed all by yourself.

4. go through the worst-case scenario

When you think about the challenge you are facing, what is the worst case scenario? Imagine the worst case scenario and think about what you could do to save the situation. And if you don't succeed, would that really be so bad? With this approach, you immediately take the wind out of the sails of the worst case scenario that could occur and no longer need to be afraid.

5. find cause for uncertainty: do detail work

Think of a situation that makes you feel very insecure. Why is that? What exactly is it that triggers this feeling? Who often held you back in your childhood, kept you down, or made you feel like your opinion didn't matter? 

If necessary, go into the smallest detail. Meet your insecurity, immerse yourself once again in the situation of that time. Where in your body can you feel and perceive the insecurity especially at this moment?

6. dare to leave your comfort zone

Within your Comfort zone you feel comfortable and safe. But if you want to fight your insecurity, you have to take a step out of this zone. Only then can you face a new challenge and prove to yourself what you're capable of.

7. speculate less about what others might think

The opinion of the people around you is very important to you? Then you certainly pay attention to every little detail, every little look they give you, and every word and tone of voice they say to you. But you quickly interpret too much into it and provide your insecurity with unnecessary fuel. Most people are too busy with themselves anyway to focus on you permanently. So take a breath!

8. discard insecurity: allow yourself to make mistakes

Making mistakes is the most human thing in the world. Even the greatest geniuses in the world have had it happen to them! Even Albert Einstein once said, "He who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." Every one of your fellow human beings has made mistakes before. So why should it be considered a crime in your case?

9. reflect on your strengths

If we now ask you to list three of your strengths without thinking twice, would you be overwhelmed? But why? Of course you have strengths, just like everyone else! And of course you can be proud of them. Others also admire them in you, so dare to let them come to life!

10. do not permanently compare yourself with others

From time to time, everyone compares themselves to other people, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. But you still remain you, no matter how often you draw comparisons. And that is also good! Just imagine that every person would be the same.

That would not only be boring, but would even bring humanity to a complete standstill. How are we supposed to develop if we can't inspire each other or come up with new ideas? So stand by yourself and your abilities.

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How to get rid of your insecurity

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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