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Toxic relationship - Recognize the main signs

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Toxic relationship - Recognize the main signs

Those who are in love often look at everything through the much-cited rose-colored glasses. The partner and the relationship are idealized. In the rush of feelings it is not always easy to recognize that the man or woman of your heart robs you of more life energy than it gives. In this case one speaks of a toxic relationship.

Almost everyone has this painful experience at least once in their lives. Toxic relationships do not necessarily have to be romantic in nature. Friendships can also develop in an unhealthy way. Below you will learn how to recognize a toxic relationship, why toxic relationships develop in the first place and how to free yourself from them.

What is a toxic relationship?

The term "toxic" means something like "poisonous". This description is pretty accurate. A toxic relationship literally sucks you dry and poisons your thoughts and self-worth. Such connections are characterized by a violent change of emotions. One moment you're sitting across from your loving partner, and five minutes later they're suddenly verbally abusive.

In a toxic relationship, there is basically an imbalance of power. One partner is usually in a emotional dependency. The dominant part is aware of this and treats the other according to his own mood: sometimes affectionate, sometimes indifferent, sometimes hurtful. The emotionally dependent partner plays down this behavior or even defends it.

In summary, a toxic relationship is about dominance and dependence. The wishes of the dominant partner are paramount, while the other has to comply. Mutual support is sought in vain. Most people feel deep within themselves that the Relationship based on one-sided effort. Nevertheless, it often takes a long time to get out of a toxic relationship.

How do I recognize a toxic relationship?

Especially in the first phase of infatuation, toxic relationship patterns are not recognized by those affected or are consciously denied. The first step in recognizing a toxic relationship is your courage to analyze the circumstances as neutrally as possible. Pay close attention to the choice of words and Body language of your partner. In a toxic relationship, the hurts repeat themselves regularly and follow a certain pattern.

Another indication of a toxic relationship is your personal feelings: Do you feel mentally exhausted and unhappyafter spending time with your partner? In this case, all alarm bells should ring at the latest. A healthy relationship gives you strength and makes you happy.

Toxic relationship test

Have you had the feeling for a long time that something is not right in your relationship? That it is not (anymore) in balance? A relationship is allowed to feel light. You may feel appreciated and treated with respect. In a perfect partnership, loving and honest Communication is the key.

Find out now if your relationship could be toxic. Our free Relationship test will help you and hopefully bring you the clarity you desire. Put an end to your suffering and draw again the love and Lightness in your life - and likewise in your relationship.

The result may make you think: see it as an opportunity to become aware of what you want in your relationship and what you can work on and grow together!

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Find out, Whether your relationship is toxic! Our free Relationship test helps you to see if you are in a harmful relationship - or if everything is in the green.

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The main signs of a toxic relationship

Every partnership is different. Although toxic relationships follow a pattern of dominance and emotional dependence, not all couples manifest in the same way. Therefore, we have summarized the 15 most important signs of toxic partnerships for you:

  1. Your own Needs you put in the back of the queue.
  2. You feel a constant fear of upsetting your partner.
  3. It won't let you go of the feeling that your partner thinks you are worthless and expendable.
  4. You think you can't live without your partner.
  5. You're afraid of your partner's anger issues.
  6. In your relationship, you feel stressed all the time.
  7. Your partner treats you disrespectfully and devalues you even in front of other people.
  8. You often fib to your partner to avoid arguments.
  9. Your opinion is irrelevant in that regard.
  10. You or your partner keep coming back to old hurts from the Past to talk.
  11. One of you is developing a pathological Jealousy.
  12. Wishes from you are not taken seriously or even smiled at.
  13. Your partner doesn't support you.
  14. There are conflict situations between you all the time.
  15. When you succeed, your partner feels threatened.

If only one of the listed signs applies to your relationship, action is required.

What is a toxic person?

A toxic person can also be colloquially called an energy vampire. Such people make use of emotional abuse. Often they look for partners whose Self-esteem is already tarnished. In the getting-to-know-you phase, toxic people present themselves as extremely charming and eloquent. However, the beautiful facade begins to crumble after a short time.

For example, emotional abuse is when your partner deliberately devalues you in conversation (or in the presence of other people):

  • "You can't do anything."
  • "Well, that was just like you to make such a stupid mistake."
  • "I've never met anyone as incompetent as you."
  • "No one but me could ever be with a slob like you."

The goal of the toxic person is to exert power and control over you in order to enhance themselves. In some cases, there is even physical assault. Fortunately, this is not the rule. If your partner threatens you with self-harm or suicide as soon as you talk about the topic of Separation speak? This is also massive emotional abuse.

An toxic person has no sense of injustice. He believes himself to be completely in the right with his behavior. The assumption that the toxic partner is particularly self-confident is deceptive. Mostly they are very insecure people who supposedly choose even weaker partners. Quite a few toxic people even show clear narcissistic traits.

Toxic relationship or toxic partner?

Being in a toxic relationship doesn't necessarily mean you also have a toxic partner! This is a big and important difference that you need to know.

Any relationship can become potentially toxic. This is true even if both partners entered into their union with the best of intentions and truly valued each other. Life is sometimes unpredictable. Human wants and needs change. You may both find one day that you are suddenly not good for each other. This happens more often than one would like to believe.

In the above case, both partners perceive the discord and suffer from the situation. However, if you have a toxic person at your side, only one suffers - you. A toxic partner consciously tries to control and manipulate you. He or she does not care about a harmonious relationship. The only thing a toxic partner cares about is their own ego.

toxic relationship what to do

What can I do if I find myself in a toxic relationship?

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, you have exactly two options: end the relationship or save them. Let's deal with the second option first. If you have a toxic or narcissistic partner, there is no alternative to ending the relationship in order to protect yourself. The hope that a toxic person will change for you is vanishingly small.

Here's your Self-esteem asked: Be worthy enough of yourself not to let another person treat you pejoratively. No matter how much you may love him or her. Toxic people carry around psychological wounds that can only be worked through in therapy. Unfortunately, they often lack the insight necessary to seek professional help.

Willingness to change

If it is a toxic relationship in which both partners realize that something is wrong, there is absolutely Hope. Here it helps to clearly state what makes you unhappy and what changes you would like to see. There must be a willingness to change on both sides. So listen to your partner and try to work on your own destructive behaviors.

In many cases, it can be helpful to have a Couples therapy to make use of the support of a neutral person. A neutral person who mediates between you and mirrors the situations sometimes opens up completely new ways of thinking. If you do not want to see a therapist, a neutral person of trust can alternatively take on the role of mediator. But perhaps a Couple coaching the right approach for you. Some couples manage without the help of third parties altogether.

That's how you free yourself!

Toxic relationships have a potential for addiction that should not be underestimated. People with low self-esteem are particularly at risk of getting caught up in a whirlpool of feelings of dependency and humiliation. It is therefore important to strengthen your self-esteem and find out what is really important to you in life.

You can only make yourself happy! We hope that our relationship test will enlighten you in many things. It will also help you to better understand your relationship. You deserve to experience a wonderful, fulfilling relationship with the perfect partner by your side!

FREE TEST

Is your relationship healthy?

Find out, Whether your relationship is toxic! Our free relationship quiz will help you see if you're in a harmful relationship - or if everything is in the green.
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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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