Couple coaching - strengthen your relationship with this method

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Couple coaching - strengthen your relationship with this method

Everyday life in a relationship, routine and lack of time can contribute to love falling by the wayside. If trust is lacking and there is no appreciative way of dealing with each other, crises in the relationship can hardly be avoided. Even in happy partnerships, relationship problems can occur due to unrealistic expectations or because of entrenched patterns of communication and behavior. However, many people do not even think about couples coaching in order to regain ease in their relationship. Relationship to experience.

Often, old or unconscious grievances cause one or both partners to withdraw. But couples coaching can help to identify conflict potential in the relationship and to find solutions for smoldering partnership problems. The ability to deal with difficulties in the right way and to deal with conflicts in an appropriate manner is of crucial importance.

What is couple coaching?

The term couple coaching is often mentioned in connection with relationship coaching or couple therapy. At Coaching for couples is a kind of life counseling, which should help to solve partnership conflicts. Couple coaching uses the principles of positive psychology and combines them with various elements of life coaching. A Couples therapy However, couple coaching is not. In the Coaching for lovers and married couples are dominated by counseling and support components.

Couple coaching - a solution to overcome conflicts

Have you ever asked yourself if there are relationships without problems? We probably all know friends or acquaintances whose partnerships seem to run harmoniously and whom we secretly envy for their happiness. In reality, love relationships without any quarrels are relatively rare. However, there are certain differences in partnership relationships with regard to the frequency of disputes and crises. If there is a frequent crisis and at least one of the two partners is dissatisfied or unhappy, the entire relationship is often called into question.

Couple coaching is a way to find solutions to overcome conflicts and strengthen the relationship. The task of a couple coach is to mediate between the two conflicting parties and to point out possible alternatives. In this way, a trained coach can help a couple to better understand the background of the relationship conflict and to gain new insights that will give new support to the partnership. Couple coaching thus serves to shed more light on problems in the relationship and to work on them in order to strengthen the relationship.

Couple coaching

Values in the partnership

A couple relationship is something unique. However, on our journey through life together, we encounter not only happiness and love, but also problems and crises that we have to overcome together with our partner. In the process, values such as:

  • Trust
  • Respect
  • Acceptance
  • Mindfulness

important building blocks for a long-lasting, happy relationship. In every couple relationship, there are arguments from time to time. If the expectations and demands of both partners are too different, power struggles are fought out and there is a risk of getting bogged down. Solving partnership conflicts as well as showing new possibilities in dealing with the partner is one of the tasks of couple coaching. Relationship coaching has developed as a specialized area from life coaching.

Is couples coaching worthwhile and when does professional support make sense?

Most of the time, help from a professional like a couples coach is only considered when the relationship is already on the verge of breaking down. Many couples opt for couples coaching in order to find a Separation and to give the partnership another chance. The couple coach acts as an emotionally uninvolved mediator. Problems can also be an opportunity to grow internally and to better manage conflicts in the future.

Couple coaching is not only used to cope with current crises, but is also used preventively. Often in the conversation with the Coach deeper conflict potentials in the relationship are identified so that they can be resolved. In this context, coaching helps to bring about necessary changes in the partnership and to strengthen cohesion.

Couple coaching is also helpful in difficult phases of life, such as during a separation or divorce. Although the relationship is then already over, the couple coach supports the two ex-partners in shaping the separation phase respectfully and as harmoniously as possible.

For whom is couples coaching suitable?

Basically, couple coaching is suitable for every couple who wants to solve conflicts or avoid relationship problems. If insecurity in the partnership develops into a problem, the common values and goals are at stake, a couple coaching is a useful and helpful support.

What are the reasons behind couples deciding to have a Coaching decide? The motives for entrusting oneself to a couple coach are manifold and can be very different. Often negative events in a previous relationship are an important reason to work on the relationship problems with professional support. Other reasons for couples coaching include partnership problems that are becoming a test of endurance, such as:

  • Jealousy
  • dominant behavior of a partner
  • too much closeness or distance
  • different ideas about sex
  • Infidelity and infidelities
  • Crises of change (unemployment, menopause, aging)

Different clientele

Couples coaching is aimed at heterosexual, lesbian and gay couples regardless of age and social class. Often support is provided by professional coaching already in the initial phase of a relationship needed. However, couples who have lived together for a long time or have been married for decades are also among the clients of a couples coach.

As soon as the rosy phase of infatuation is over and everyday life dominates, the partnership is viewed from a different, more realistic perspective. Supposed shortcomings of the partner, misunderstandings and different views of life can quickly lead to relationship conflicts. In couple coaching, problems are discussed in a neutral environment.

Is your partnership in crisis? Are you often frustrated, do you react irritably or aggressively when talking to your partner? In couples coaching you learn to understand the background of your relationship problems and to develop solution proposals together. At the same time, coaching can also bring uncomfortable truths to light and encourage the decision to separate.

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What are the goals of couple coaching?

The goal of couples counseling is to create clarity. After couples coaching, the couple should be able to decide whether to continue or end the relationship. The coaching work serves to work out the causes that have led to the partnership problems and to find solutions together. At the same time Uncertainty and indecisiveness are cleared up and decisions are brought about. The most beautiful result, of course, is an unequivocal yes to the relationship. Sometimes the consensual decision that is End relationship, the better alternative for both partners.

Couple coaching is an individual process, the outcome of which is not a foregone conclusion. From the perspective of a couple coach, the Setting Goals in helping both partners to understand each other better and to learn what is important to the other. During a consultation, wishes and Needs expressed in relation to the relationship.

Self-reflection is an important topic in couples coaching. A coach helps you to recognize your strengths, but also your weaknesses. He shows you how to be more Empathy and understanding for your partner. Understanding and being understood are among the most important prerequisites for a stable relationship.

Couple coaching for relationship frustration

Coaching for couples also serves as a preventive measure. Relationship frustration is a first indication that things are beginning to crumble in your partnership. Often, major conflicts can be avoided through preventative couples coaching. Many couples coaches offer prevention programs designed to help couples overcome difficulties in order to return to a fulfilling couple relationship.

Strengthening relationship skills and enabling partners to talk about problems are also among the goals of couples coaching. Coaching therefore also fulfills a preventive function. The communication and behavioral training applied in couple coaching forms the basis for more difficult phases in the relationship. If relationship coaching is started at an early stage, when the partnership problems become obvious, the risk of separation can often be reduced and the relationship saved.

What topics are discussed in couple coaching?

Couples coaching is not life counseling. Coaching is about anything that might affect your partnership or jeopardize your relationship. The most common topics discussed during a coaching session are:

  • lack of attention from the partner
  • too little time for the relationship
  • Fear of being abandoned
  • Dealing with money and possessions
  • Overload and lack of support from the partner
  • Control addiction and Mistrust
  • constant quarreling over trifles

In addition, everything that is perceived as disturbing and can affect the partnership in the long term can be addressed in a couple coaching session.

Couple coaching or couple therapy? Differences?

Couples coaching is often equated with couples therapy. However, unlike therapy, coaching for couples is about counseling. Couples therapy, on the other hand, is about experienced physical or psychological injuries that are to be processed with therapeutic support. Couples coaching is a preventive measure that aims to prevent deep-seated problems from occurring. In addition, the objective in coaching is to identify abilities and potentials that help the individuals concerned to develop further and to work out solutions to problems.

Nowadays, terms such as couples coaching, couples therapy or Marriage counseling often used synchronously. It is therefore not easy for affected couples to find the right support for their relationship issues. Moreover, the term "therapy" suggests that relationship problems are some kind of illness or disorder. However, people who participate in couples coaching are not sick, they are looking for solutions to the conflicts in their relationships. If couples coaching is being considered, it is important to know what a coaching session is like in the first place.

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The procedure of a couple coaching

The exact procedure of a couple coaching depends on the consulting concept of the coach. Ideally, a free preliminary meeting will take place first. The conversation, which takes place either by phone or online, should give you the opportunity to get a first impression of the couple coaching. It is important for the coach that you describe your concerns and your expectations of the coaching.

Which conflicts should be resolved? What do you need support with and what should improve in your couple relationship? In order for your couples coach to be able to make an initial assessment, you should answer these questions as thoroughly as possible. In the preliminary meeting, the entire counseling process as well as the schedule of each session will be discussed.

Set goals

Couple coaching usually begins with clarifying the assignment and goals. After it has been determined which problems affect the relationship of the coachee(s), possible goals to be achieved by the coaching are brought into play. In addition, you should take this opportunity to find out not only the organizational, but also the price conditions of the coaching. Are you satisfied with the preliminary discussion and the approach of the couple coach? happy, an appointment is made for the initial consultation.

A coaching session is based on the counseling principle used in couple coaching. It first begins with the question of how the relationship has developed since the last appointment. Then the goals of the current coaching session are set.

In couples coaching, you'll learn:

  • discuss constructively
  • Settle differences without accusations
  • Resolve conflicts amicably
  • to use your skills to strengthen the relationship

There is no general answer to how many couple coaching sessions are useful. Since a couple coach works in a solution-oriented way, you will often achieve tangible results after just a few sessions. Depending on the handling and complexity of partnership problems, a longer period of time may be necessary. Since a couples coaching session always has an internal repercussion, it can be helpful if there is some time between the individual appointments.

How long does counseling with couples take?

While the preliminary meeting is relatively short, a normal coaching session with a couples coach lasts on average between 60 and 90 minutes. Be sure to check if evening appointments are possible if you are working. If you are flexible in terms of time, you will usually get an appointment for an initial meeting more quickly. After the first meeting it will be decided whether further appointments with this couples coach are possible and desired.

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How do I become a couples coach?

Are you interested in topics like psychology and interpersonal relationships? Do you want to help people deal better with difficulties in their partnerships? Couple coaching is a versatile activity that offers you some interesting perspectives.

However, similar to many other therapeutic professions, couples coach is not a protected job title. A variety of methods and techniques exist in the field of coaching. Educate yourself thoroughly before making any decisions. In the case of a Training as Greator Coach for example, you will learn valuable and field-tested coaching methods that will allow you to unleash your full potential to bring yourself and others into your full power. The goal in couples coaching is to help couples overcome their relationship conflicts and show them new possibilities and ways forward.


The prerequisites for training as a couples coach are not uniformly regulated. Psychological or social science training, professional experience, or a degree in these fields may prove helpful. As a couples coach, you should have the following skills and qualities:

  • empathy
  • pronounced Communication skills
  • a good power of observation
  • analytical skills
  • Distance and ability to distinguish oneself from clients
  • Tolerance
  • Load capacity
  • Stress Resistance

Training or experience in a counseling or therapeutic role, such as:

  • Coach
  • Mediator
  • Psychotherapist
  • Sex counselor
  • Social worker
  • Cultural scientist

In principle, you have a chance to gain a foothold in couples coaching as a career changer, even without previous experience. In coaching for couples, there are no standardized degrees, certifications or industry standards. Much more important than fixed standards are social competencies as well as the ability to Self-reflection.


As a couples coach, you must be able to listen, be neutral and unprejudiced. Emotional empathy is just as important for this varied and interesting job as discretion and critical thinking. Loyalty towards your clients. As more and more couples want to solve their relationship problems with professional support, couple coaching offers excellent prospects for the future.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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