Have you ever said that you're fine even though it wasn't true? Probably not just once, right? But why? Are we afraid to show ourselves? Are we uncomfortable talking about our feelings? And how would you really feel if you stopped putting on a good face and went your own way? When you decide for your self-realization. This topic was addressed by Dr. Stefan Frädrich at the LIFEfest in Munich.
In 1993, the founder of GEDANKENtanken attended his first lecture in medicine. Because that was his clear goal. He looked after the morgues and watched dissections with a passion. "I was convinced of what I wanted to do!" Stefan Frädrich remembers this time very clearly almost 30 years later. Six years later, he was officially allowed to call himself a doctor. Another year and a half later, the life coach quit his job. "Medicine stank for me. I wasn't having any fun, I was disillusioned, my relationship had fallen apart, I wasn't doing any more sport - I had missed my real goal," he says.
Maybe you know such situations too and have you ever wondered if you are on the right track? Then pay attention: Take a moment for yourself. Can you answer the following ten statements in the affirmative?
"The vast majority of people are within the statistical range," Stefan explains. In other words: everything is ok, everything is going well. And there are a few people who are very high and very low. "These questions indicated to me that something was going wrong. I, on the other hand, ended up in a major life dead end after my studies." For the first time, the bestselling author dealt with the term "depression", a widespread illness that affects one in four women and one in eight men. Stefan Frädrich describes depression as a colorful mixture of different conditions. One factor is lifestyle. "Take a trip to your principles and ask yourself honestly what makes us humans happy and successful," he recommends. "I love what we make possible: There are 10,000 people sitting here right now alone who are looking at how to live a brilliant life - and many more are interested!"
According to Stefan Frädrich, there is a system with which one can build a new life in order to achieve one's own goals. First, each of us may return to the source of our habit and interrupt the flow of our thoughts. "If you put garbage into people's thoughts, only garbage can come out. There are so many great thoughts we can give to others," Stefan inspires, drilling further, "Do you have an environment that gives you common sense, or not?"
Today, speaking is his profession. Back then it was, "Stefan, you talk too much. Shut up!" It wasn't until he was 30, he says, that he realized this was his path. "I think we should be allowed to start giving kids a stage for their skills in schools. Instead, performances are directly graded and often taught: 'You can't do this. But I say, those who can technically do the representing are not the ones who have anything important to say." Even at school it becomes clear that you don't meet the requirements.
Stefan Frädrich cites self-distortion, caution, and over-fitting as other factors in why you're not being yourself. "If you tend to do this, then you are constantly looking at what others can do. You don't look at your strengths, you lose focus on your self-realization, and yet you don't notice that these people also have quirks," the coach has found time and again while working with clients. What happens? You conform, distort, perform, and pant after some outside goal. We run through the world and are never enough for ourselves. Is this the right drive?
Instead, a big problem pops up: Missing the target! "Why don't you reach it? Because in your 30s, 40s or 50s, you're still going for parental approval. But that's how complete chaos happens," Stefan predicts. Ask yourself: Who am I? Why am I in this world? What are my weaknesses and strengths? "Once you figure out who you are, you can look for your goals along your path. Then you will get into your flow! Remember: If you fight, you fight against something. Goals from outside only irritate you. Cancel them and let go! Embark on your path and many things will happen by chance!"
When people walk through this life, they should first and foremost learn who they are in order to make the best of themselves. But if you only look at the outside world, you won't find your strengths. You have to go inside, you have to know what your values, your personality structure and your dreams are, what makes you tick, what your goals are. And: take the time to find out who you are!" Celebrate your self-realization, step by step. Perhaps Stefan's 7 tips for your younger self will help you:
