"The tsunami of transformation is blowing ever more forcefully through marriages and partnerships, through women and men, sweeping away that which has love on it but no love in it." Robert Betz is an expert on transformation, partnership and personal development. He is one of Germany's top speakers and has his very own theory as to why more and more relationships are falling apart today. Look forward to his tips for heartbreak.
He says, "The normal relationship or marriage based on unquestioned norms, illusions and delusions is leading more and more people to disappointment faster and faster, as anyone can see from the shorter shelf life of partnerships. Now that women are earning their own money and marriages are no longer held together by dependence on the breadwinner or even protector husband, or by having lots of children, the longing for real happiness leads to the breakdown of the rotten relationship."
The sad fact is that today relationships end more quickly and marriages are divorced much more often than a few years ago. But this article is not about the reasons for the breakup, but about the pain of the breakup - more precisely, how to beat it and find your way back to life after the breakup. What should you do when your relationship resembles a shambles and the heartbreak keeps growing? How can you learn to let go of your shared past? And what tips against heartbreak really help? We have collected five practical tips for broken hearts and tell you how to overcome the pain.
The first step is the most difficult. But if you want to deal with the breakup with your ex-partner as well as possible, you should stop all communication with him. End the contact and do not try to find out what he is doing or how he feels through mutual friends and acquaintances. Because every attempt at contact contains the faint hope that he might change his mind after all and that you might get back together.
Not your ex-partner has ended the relationship, but you? In this case, too, you should avoid contact for the time being out of respect. The person who is faced with a fait accompli is usually hit harder. That's why it doesn't help if you break up but keep in touch. And what was that again about "staying friends"? In principle, this is possible, but in many cases it is rather difficult. Because a broken heart can't just switch from "love relationship" mode to friendship mode. Instead, let the dust settle and avoid direct and indirect contact with your ex-partner. This may be a drastic step, but it will help you to reacquaint yourself with yourself and get your feet firmly back on the ground soon enough.
Unrequited love and a broken heart are painful. That's why you should give yourself time to heal the wound in your own way. Let your feelings out. Cry if you feel like it. Eat what you feel like. And give yourself time off so that your body and mind can understand and cope with the loss. At the same time, it's important not to get too wrapped up in the pain. Let it out, but then come back to life stronger!
And that brings us to the third point: It is not uncommon for the abandoned person to feel like a victim and sink into self-pity. However, you should avoid this at all costs in order not to fundamentally destroy your self-esteem. Just because your ex-partner and you won't continue your life together doesn't mean you aren't worth loving. A breakup can be for an infinite number of reasons. It simply means that a new chapter is now starting. Let out your heartbreak pain, but don't sink into grief! Try to accept the breakup. Because acceptance is the most effective way to regain your courage soon.
Now it's time to start over. Realize that the breakup also brings positive qualities for you and that you are ready to start anew. People are adaptable and you too can adjust to the new situation and make the best of it. Don't get lost in the heartbreak. Don't give up, fight your way back into life! Take as much time as you need to do this. Some people get over heartbreak after a few days, others take months. Go at your own pace and trust your inner voice.
Once the heartbreak subsides, you should rationally reflect on your ex-relationship again: Why didn't it work out? What did you learn about yourself? What could you do differently or better in your next relationship? Every breakup is a chance to learn. Recognize the mistakes you don't want to make again and make peace with yourself. Take these insights into your new relationship. And who knows, maybe your next partnership will last the rest of your life this way. We wish it to you from the bottom of our hearts.