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Raising children: By intuition or is there a "right" concept?

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Raising children: By intuition or is there a "right" concept?

All parents want only the best for their child. But what kind of education can achieve this? How do I teach my child the right values? And what importance do rules play in raising children?

These questions occupy many young parents. Unfortunately, children come without an "instruction manual". Of course, every child as well as every family situation is individual. Therefore, the following tips do not serve as dogma, but as a guide that you can use to orient yourself.

Raising children: What does it mean?

Raising children means outgrowing yourself a little bit every day. As a parent, you are no longer responsible only for yourself, but have the special task of accompanying a little person into an independent life. It is almost self-explanatory that this cannot always be done harmoniously.

Every parent around the world will have a very personal opinion about what raising children means. Most parents describe it as the hardest and at the same time the most beautiful task they have ever mastered. The goal of good parenting is generally for the child to develop into a confident, empathetic adult.

how do i raise my child

Raising children: 15 important tips

Raising children is a task that is constantly changing. Depending on the age of the child, different focuses are important. Therefore, we have summarized below the most proven parenting tips according to age.

Raising kids: Parenting tips for toddlers

In infancy, the child discovers its autonomy. It wants to become an independent person and, accordingly, often asserts its will. This period is called the defiant phase. Even though this developmental stage is important, parents must of course not let everything pass:

1. prevent tantrums

Many tantrums can be avoided because they often occur in the same situations. Children become particularly ungracious when they are tired or hungry. It is also important to reduce the choice of toys to a manageable level.

2. body contact

A child raging with anger is in an emotionally exceptional situation. It helps some children if their parents give them a gentle hug. This is your way of signaling: I am with you and I love you. However, there are also children who do not want to be touched in such a situation. This must also be accepted.

3. teach anger management

Anger is a natural Emotionthat both children and adults are familiar with. Show your child how to deal with his anger in a constructive way. Instead of kicking or even destroying something, he can punch a pillow, for example.

4. set up fixed rules

Establish reliable rules for everyday family life and don't deviate from them. This routine gives your child security. The more consistently you enforce family rules, the less likely your child will try to rebel against them.

5. do not overdramatize the tantrum

Tantrums are part of being a toddler. Trials, Keep calm. Don't talk down to your child, but wait until he or she calms down. Do not give the tantrum more attention than necessary. Otherwise, there is a risk that you and your child will get emotionally worked up.

Raising kids: Parenting tips for school children

When children start school, they enter a new and exciting phase of their lives. Everyday life changes significantly. This poses new challenges for education.

1. support in school

School life is a big change for your child. Accompany the new phase of life lovingly and do not exert too much pressure to perform. School is certainly important. However, success in life does not depend solely on good grades. Notes off. Do not punish failures, but look together with your child what could be improved.

2. learn responsibility

Schoolchildren are taking on responsibility for the first time: they are gradually learning to organize their own work routines. You can encourage this by giving your child age-appropriate tasks at home, such as watering flowers once a week or setting the breakfast table at the weekend.

3. limit TV time

Nowadays, children come into contact with the media well before their teenage years. Parents may allow them to watch age-appropriate programs, but not indefinitely.

According to the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth children between the ages of six and nine should not watch more than 45 minutes of television a day. From the age of ten, 60 minutes is the maximum limit.

4. educate children with appropriate consistency.

You can't fool schoolchildren anymore. So you should avoid empty threats at all costs. Instead, it's a good idea to offer motivational suggestions: "If you hurry, we'll still have time for an ice cream sundae."

5. take your time

Do you have something serious to discuss with your schoolchild? Then don't do it between door and door, but take enough time. This Appreciation deserve children as well as adults.

Raising kids: Parenting tips for teens

Raising children does not end when puberty begins. Some parents even think that this is when it really starts:

1. not too many bans

Arbitrary prohibitions make the teenager feel restricted. So give your child the confidence to do something. Be guided by the individual stage of development. As long as your child reliably keeps to agreements, you can make concessions, e.g. regarding going out in the evening.

2. respect privacy

Teenagers are no longer children. They are increasingly detaching themselves from their parents in order to develop their own personality. You should not interfere with this process by interfering too much. Always offer your ear, but don't push your child into conversations he or she doesn't want to have. Also, ask permission before entering the room or cleaning the closets.

3. don't take angry outbursts too personally

Anyone who wants to raise children needs a thick skin. This is all the more true when the offspring reach their teenage years. It is not uncommon for young people to reproach their parents eloquently. Even if it is difficult, you should not take this too personally. React calmly to rejections and signal to your child that you are always there when he or she needs you.

4. you are not the best friend of your child

Some parents tend to be overly friendly when their child is young. However, your kids don't need another buddy, they need a reliable adult to turn to with their problems. Don't abandon your parental role.

5. listen to your child

Teenagers often complain that no one really listens to them. Ask your child for his or her opinion and let him or her have a say in family matters. Take your child's views seriously, even if they differ from your own.

Raising children: How does it work properly?

Children are fundamentally eager to learn. Unfortunately, the joy of learning is not infrequently dampened by failures or a difficult social environment. In the three-month training to become a Greator Learning Coach you will learn basic pedagogical tips as well as tried and tested learning methods.

With your acquired knowledge, you can ensure that your child retains or rediscovers the joy of learning. Furthermore, you will learn how conflicts can be reduced to a minimum. Encourage your child in his or her self-development and find out more about our Training concept.

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The 10 most common parenting mistakes

Nobody is perfect: And that's not dramatic at all. In raising children, perfection is by no means what matters. The latter cannot exist anyway, since every child is different. Nevertheless, there are some common and avoidable mistakes that many parents make. These include the following ten behaviors:

1. lack of role model function

As a parent, you have an important role model function. If you demand something from your child, you must also behave in the desired manner. Example: Your child should eat vegetables, but you yourself prefer fast food. No wonder the child doesn't understand why he or she should eat differently than mom and dad.

2. inconsistency

When you announce a (reasonable) consequence to your child, you must enforce it. Don't give in out of your own convenience because your child starts yelling or raving. Otherwise, this is how it learns that with a little fussing, it will get its way. Stand by your word and endure the ranting.

3. ignore the needs of the child

Children need to have their basic needs met at all times in order not to lose what is known as basic trust. The younger the child, the more important it is to react promptly to hunger and discomfort. Children who cannot be sure of their parents' love and attention are more likely to develop Behavioral problems. This goes from following scientific elaboration.

4. bribery

Certainly there are situations in which you very urgently want your child to behave in a certain way. The classic is the situation in the supermarket. A noisy child throwing himself on the floor in the grocery store is embarrassing to most parents. The temptation to attempt a bribe is therefore great: "If you're quiet now, I'll let you pick out some candy."

Of course, this is a convenient solution, but in this way you reward the inappropriate behavior. The child learns: If I get loud, I get sweets.

5. too rare praise

In life, we often tend to focus on the negative things. This is (unfortunately) no different when it comes to raising children: If your child does something wrong, he or she immediately gets a corresponding reprimand. However, if they behave in an exemplary manner, this often goes uncommented.

It doesn't have to be big things by any means. Playing peacefully with a sibling or helping out around the house are also worthy of praise.

6. you act angry

If you're angry, you don't always think about what you say carefully enough. Surely you know it from yourself: When you feel rebuked in an inappropriate way, you literally turn your ears down. Your child is no different. Especially with children, communication should always be appreciative.

If you are extremely angry, it is recommended that you leave the situation and take a deep breath. Do not return to the exchange with your child until you have calmed down.

7. you talk too much

Of course, appreciative communication is of great importance in education. However, there are situations in which concrete actions are more meaningful than hours of debate.

Example: Your child has grabbed a pair of scissors and is running around the apartment with them. Long explanations as to why they should put them away are now out of place. Instead, take the scissors away from your child for his or her own protection. Afterwards, you can still calmly explain to him why this was necessary.

8. waiting too long

Some conflict situations can be nipped in the bud if parents are attentive enough. For example, if you notice that the mood between the siblings is threatening to tip over, don't just intervene when it's too late. Instead, separate the children early on or distract them with a new game.

9. emotional blackmail

Emotional blackmail is one of the most devastating parenting mistakes and can have a lasting negative impact on your child's development. Children need to know that their parents love them unconditionally. If you attach conditions to your affection, you shatter the child's trust. It will also be difficult for him to trust you later in life.

10. excessive demand

You know those kids who have a busier schedule than a top executive? Is your child one of them? Then you should take it down a notch. Encouraging children doesn't mean overburdening them. Find out what interests and talents your child really has. Offer them targeted, rather than indiscriminate, support. Most importantly, never forget to let your child be a child.

The best way to raise children: does it even exist?

There are many different Parenting Stylesso that one can hardly speak of right or wrong. Each family also has its own concept. Nevertheless, the above tips can provide you with a basic orientation.

If you would like to support your child explicitly in the area of learning, we would like to offer you our free e-book "The 10 best tips for fun and success in learning"to the heart. With the help of tried-and-tested methods, you can help your child rediscover his or her joy of learning and better internalize learning content.

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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