What is important in a relationship? 10 relevant factors

Reading time 9 minutes
What is important in a relationship? 10 relevant factors

What is important in a relationship? This is a question many couples ask themselves. However, it is not that easy to answer. What makes a good Relationship depends primarily on the wishes and (value) perceptions of the people involved.

Even though the answer to the question of a good relationship can be very individual, there are still some important principles. We would like to familiarize you with these below.

The basics at a glance: When is a relationship a good relationship?

If you ask German couples about the most important basics for a harmonious partnership, they often say Faithful, Humor and honesty mentioned. These aspects are indeed of crucial importance. However, according to research findings by the American couple psychologist John Gottman, it is Trust the elementary pillar of a good relationship.

Reading Tip: His findings, based on a 50-year analysis of couples, can be read in the following literary work, among others: "The 7 Secrets of Happy Marriage" by John M. Gottman.

Trust forms the basis

But why is Trust is so important? Dr. Jason Whiting, a family therapist who has also published numerous books, has a clear opinion on this: trust forms the basis of open communication. Without communication, no interpersonal relationship can function, which also applies to partnerships.

If you can't trust your partner, you will never open up to him or her emotionally. After all, you constantly fear being disappointed, laughed at, or betrayed. Such Fears create a barrier that prevents you from feeling close to each other. You're on guard and think carefully about what you tell your partner - and what you'd rather not.

The fact that you cannot become happy within such a relationship needs no further explanation. So, in order to have a harmonious partnership, it is important to build or strengthen your mutual trust.

Building trust after a breach of trust: Is it possible?

It is possible that your trust in each other has been disturbed, e.g. by a lie or a Side jump. This is the most important cornerstone of a happy relationship swayed considerably.

Regaining trust once it has been lost is difficult, but by no means impossible. However, it requires the willingness as well as the commitment of both parties. In some cases, even a Couples therapy be useful.

what is important to women in a relationship

Recognition, appreciation and respect in the partnership

Recognition, appreciation and respect are fundamental pillars of a fulfilling partnership. They foster an environment of mutual trust and deep connection by making each partner feel valued and understood. These elements help to resolve conflicts constructively and strengthen the relationship by creating a foundation of mutual respect on which lasting love can thrive.

The balance of give and take in everyday life

The balance of give and take is crucial in any relationship. It ensures that both partners feel equal and valued. A balanced relationship promotes harmony and satisfaction by ensuring that the needs of both partners are considered and met. It prevents one of the partners from feeling exploited or overwhelmed and strengthens the bond through mutual support and understanding in everyday life.

Work on communication with your partner: You can pay attention to this!

To improve communication with your partner, follow these 5 tips.

  1. Practice active listening by paying full attention and summarizing what has been said to show understanding.
  2. Use "I" messages to express feelings without attacking the other person.
  3. Set regular "we times" to talk about relationship matters without being disturbed.
  4. Learn to express criticism constructively and accept it positively.
  5. Develop common communication rules that apply to both to avoid misunderstandings and promote respect.

5 tips for shared routines for a harmonious everyday life

Shared routines can be crucial for a harmonious everyday life. Here are five tips:

  1. Start or end the day with an activity together, such as a walk.
  2. Plan regular date nights to maintain the relationship.
  3. Schedules weekly planning meetings to coordinate tasks and goals.
  4. Integrates joint relaxation rituals, such as evening meditations.
  5. Take time for daily appreciations to express gratitude for each other.

Can relationships last forever?

The answer is quite clear: Yes, relationships can last a lifetime. Numerous couples celebrating their golden wedding anniversary or even their diamond wedding anniversary prove this anew every day. Certainly, one could argue at this point that these couples are from a different generation in which divorce has not yet been an option for some women.

There is no denying that such constellations exist. However, the majority of couples who stay together for life are extremely happy together. But how do they manage that? A long-term relationship requires hard work from both sides. We humans change throughout our lives. So it's a matter of constantly readjusting to your partner.

It is also important not to lose sight of each other as a couple in everyday life alongside work and parenthood. Love needs to be nurtured. Take enough time for yourselves Time for each other: this includes romance, sex and conversation.

What is important in a relationship for women and men?

According to a Parship study from 2006, gender differences in expectations and desires within a relationship are not that different.

The following aspects are of great importance for both women and men:

What is important in a relationship?

  1. Trust (96 % of respondents)
  2. Mutual understanding (94 % of respondents).
  3. Being able to laugh with each other (94 % of respondents).
  4. Mutual respect (93 % of respondents).
  5. Fidelity (89 % of respondents).
  6. Mutual support (89 % of respondents).
  7. Have free space (88 % of respondents).
  8. Common interests (86 % of respondents).
  9. Romance (86 % of respondents)
  10. Sexual attraction (84 % of respondents).

What is important to women in a relationship?

In the following, we would like to go into a little more detail about what women want. What is important in a relationship? If you ask a woman this question, the aspect of emotional closeness is often in the foreground. However, it is important to know that this cannot be generalized. Every person, whether man or woman, has an individual idea of a successful partnership.

However, many women want a man who can both allow their own feelings and deal with the emotions of his partner. Unfortunately, many men still have a barrier in this regard, which is due to the old, but not yet completely replaced role models. Many a man keeps his distance as soon as he is confronted with emotions.

Furthermore Appreciation and respect is a big issue for many women. They want to be appreciated humanly by their partner and also feel this. The latter does not require any special gestures or large gifts. Much more important is mutual support in everyday life and taking worries and problems seriously. Recognition of private and professional achievements is also part of this.

What is important for men in a relationshipg?

What is important in a relationship? If you ask a man this question, most men will name independence, respect and sexuality. Let's take a closer look at these aspects in detail:

Most men want a strong and self-confident partner who leads her own life and pursues her own interests. Nothing looks more unattractive than a helpless spider monkey who can't cope without her partner. And what about the frequently mentioned protective instinct? Here it should be said: The one does not exclude the other. Even a strong woman likes to be protected at times.

The topic of respect plays a key role for both sexes. Men also want to be respected by their partners for who they are. A woman who constantly tries to re-educate her partner is a terrible idea for most men. Recognition for their own achievements, whether professional or private, is also important to men in a relationship.

Finally, let's talk about the topic of sexuality. Physical intimacy is simply part of a happy relationship - at least for most people. Men often place even greater value on this than women. If the partner has completely different preferences, it becomes complicated for both partners. If no compromise is found, they are left with unfulfilled Needs back.

What is the most important thing in a relationship? 10 underestimated factors for a happy relationship

1. find common ground

Surely you know the frequently quoted Wisdomthat opposites attract. This is actually true. A partner who is completely different from you may seem exciting at first. However, you need to have enough in common to form a lasting bond. If these are missing, you will eventually have nothing more to say to each other.

Once the rush of the first infatuation is over, you should focus on what you have in common: Are you on the same wavelength when it comes to your (moral) ideas and dreams for the future? Can you also talk to each other about important topics?

2. take time for each other

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is not so easy to find time for each other as a couple on a regular basis. It is not necessary and usually not possible to be together around the clock every day. Nevertheless, you should make sure that you don't completely miss each other.

Create time slots that deliberately belong only to you as a couple. This could be a special activity every weekend, for example. In everyday life itself, there are certainly also time slots that you can use together. Even if you work different hours, one of you might be willing to get up a little earlier to have breakfast or coffee together.

3. have sex regularly

In a long-term relationship, sexuality often takes a back seat. No question, priorities shift over the years. Not having sex at all is perfectly fine, as long as both parties don't miss anything. However, surveys (see above) show that most people are not comfortable with total abstinence. happy are.

Even if it sounds unromantic, sex after a date is a good option to rediscover the desire for each other. Important: Ensure a nice ambience! Once passion has been rekindled, spontaneity returns to most couples sooner or later.

4. pay attention to an appreciative dispute culture

When it comes to the question "What is important in a relationship?", the topic of mutual respect is at the top of the list. This applies not only in harmonious times, but especially in crisis situations. Arguments are part of every relationship. Even if you are very angry with each other, name-calling and insults are an absolute no-no.

When in doubt, it's better to take a moment to get some fresh air and clear your head before you say something you'll regret afterwards. Continue to be careful to send "I messages" when arguing. Explain from your perspective what's bothering you without placing blame.

5. listen to each other

According to John Gottman, whether a relationship is happy or not depends largely on the willingness to communicate. Listen to your partner when he or she wants to tell you something. Show interest in the topics that occupy him or her, even if you may not be able to understand everything. Of course, the same should apply vice versa.

6. do not try to change each other

To a certain extent, it is perfectly legitimate to show consideration for one another. This also includes showing some Habit in the presence of your partner. However, do not try to change your partner in the foundations of his or her personality. From a introvert Character, for example, will never become a party animal!

Unless you are so accept you can be who you are, you should think carefully about your partnership.

7. laughs with each other

Laughter and lightness are essential for a happy relationship of great importance. Instead of getting upset about your partner's quirks, you should help them with Humor encounter. Your partner squeezes the toothpaste tube or leaves their socks lying around? This is not the end of the world. Instead, laugh about it together.

what is important to consider in a new relationship

8. be faithful to one another

Cheating shakes the foundation of your relationship: trust. So stay true to each other. This is all the easier if you communicate openly with each other. Tell your partner what you want and what is missing in your relationship. This includes both emotional and sexual aspects. This way, there is less risk of one of you getting involved in an affair.

9. work on your partnership

Keep in regular contact with each other: Are you both happy in your relationship? Are there any personal developments that Change make it necessary? Misunderstandings and conflicts should not be hushed up, but addressed openly. Otherwise, there is a risk that minor issues will eventually build up into a major conflict.

10. show your love to each other

Men in particular often have a hard time with the famous three words. You don't necessarily have to say "I love you." You can also express your feelings in other ways by being there for your partner, listening to him and supporting him. Notice what is important to the other person and take their wishes and dreams seriously.

Conclusion: What is important in a relationship?

What is important in a relationship? The more people you ask about this, the more different answers you will hear. But one thing is certain: love and trust are the cornerstones of a harmonious and happy partnership. However, for most people there is much more to it. First and foremost, respect, humor, a fulfilled sexuality, and fidelity should be mentioned here.

In our free mini-course "How to learn to have a happy relationship" we will show you exactly how to draw these values more into your life and live your relationship. You'll also learn how to create a relationship of equals, how to dissolve negative and repetitive patterns in your relationship, and how to create a happy relationship. Vision for a fulfilling partnership in the future! 


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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