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The addiction to recognition - why we want to please other people

Reading time 6 minutes
The addiction to recognition - why we want to please other people

Where does the addiction to recognition come from? Why do we seek recognition from our fellow human beings? And above all: How do we succeed in defeating the addiction to recognition?

We would like to give you the answer to these questions in today's article. Because the moment you conquer the addiction to recognition, you gain a level of freedom that allows you to unleash your full potential.

Where does the addiction to recognition come from?

As social beings, we long for community, love, and harmonious togetherness. However, this desire can lead to a dependency that prevents us from living freely and self-determined.

In childhood we were dependent on our parents. There were often conditions attached to this dependence. Here are a few examples that you may know from your childhood:

  • Before eating had to thoroughly wash your hands.
  • In school, you had to get good grades all the time.
  • You had to be polite in the presence of adults.
  • You were never allowed to talk back to your elders.
  • You were not allowed to express your own opinion.

Why we long for recognition

Because of these demands placed upon you... Improvement drive ...was set in motion. From then on, the addiction to recognition went hand in hand with comparing behaviors.

You were probably sitting in your room, wondering: "What can I do better? What can I do to get more attention and love from my parents and my peers?"

Comparing yourself to others thus laid the foundation for your addiction to recognition. Here are a few examples of how children compare themselves.

  • Thomas can already read fluently at the age of four.
  • Sebastian can already tie his own shoes at the age of five.
  • Sven can already swim at the age of four.
  • Nina can already ride a bike quite well at the age of three.
  • Laura always participates diligently in class.

The comparison with other people often leads to a lower Self-esteem. The accompanying need for recognition often becomes part of our lives.

The addiction to recognition - Common strategies

What are common strategies to satisfy the addiction for recognition? What ways do children (and later adults) go about getting attention from those around them?

We would like to briefly present the most common examples here.

The Class Clown

The class clown is characterized by the fact that he drives the teachers crazy by fooling around. In this way, the class clown wins the favor of his classmates and thus increases his popularity. He plays a role to get recognition.

The rebel

The rebel puts his parents in a state of shock by, for example, suddenly standing in front of his parents as a punk with a mohawk haircut, leather jacket (studded, of course) and combat boots. He breaks out of the required image and thus makes his addiction to recognition clear.

The Opportunist

The opportunist adapts to the circumstances. He holds back with his personal opinion and orients himself without hesitation to what his environment (parents, teachers, employers) demand of him.

Each of these types has one thing in common: an addiction to recognition! But these behaviors make us unfree. And therefore you may ask yourself who you actually are if you were free from the thought of recognition? Who are you? Who are you really?

How to beat the addiction to recognition

Before we can admit our addiction to recognition, we must become aware of our neediness. This realization provides us with the foundation to develop our full potential.

That is, you are allowed to accept who and what you are deep inside. The problem here is that fear then spreads. Because we carry this fear around with us, because we might encounter rejection.

What rejection can that be? We fear being criticized, rejected and in the worst case outcast by our parents, work colleagues, life partner or society.

However, if you want to be truly free, then you should 100% stand by yourself. Focus on your strengths. Don't lean on your weaknesses. Because everyone, without exception, has them.

In this context, we have prepared a little exercise for you. At this point, take a sheet of paper and a pencil. Write down ten positive qualities that make you you. The result could look like this:

  • Animal Loving
  • On time
  • Charming
  • Sync and corrections by n17t01
  • Lovely
  • Busy
  • Ambitious
  • Family
  • Sporty
  • Funny

Do you live your most important character traits already? Where have you conformed to satisfy your addiction to approval instead? In school? In your studies? In your day job? In a relationship? In your circle of friends?

How do I deal with rejection?

If you decide to go your own way, you will inevitably meet with rejection. Detach yourself from the inner demand to always please everyone. This robs you of strength and energy.

You may also encounter rejection if you gradually give up your addiction to recognition. Because your environment does not know at first how it should react to you. Because everything that is new to people seems confusing at first and is viewed critically. "Maybe you also dare to question your friendships. Because how big is the authenticity content of your environment, if everyone tries in his own way to experience recognition within the group?" is a thought-provoking suggestion from Coach Christina Hommelsheim.

She is also a trainer of the Greator Coach Training. A large component of the training revolves around the topic of beliefs, fears, behavior patterns - how to break free from them and transform into something magical new.

However, if we take a look at history and the greatest achievements of mankind, we see that they were always created by people who took off their masks and were authentic. Talk about lateral thinkers like Nikola Tesla, Steve Jobs or Elon Musk.

To cut to the chase: If you have your Self-doubt you free yourself from the addiction to recognition and lay the foundation for developing your full potential.

You want to become a coach? Christina and Walter Hommelsheim feed you the facts
Christina and Walter Hommelsheim lead the Greator Coach training.

Hero Story: How Karl conquered his addiction to recognition

Since his childhood, Karl belonged to the group of people who preferred not to speak their opinions aloud. In adulthood, Karl maintained this behavior. If Karl knew better at work (e.g. than his superior), he held back his opinion. Because Karl didn't want conflict and he didn't want to fall out of favor with his supervisor. He was stuck in his spiral for recognition.

But basically, Karl was just living in front of himself. He wore a mask and hid his true personality. But when his supervisor exposed an intern in front of the entire department, Karl was furious. He couldn't stand by and watch how unfairly the intern was treated. Because she was right about the idea she presented to the team.

And so Karl took the initiative and stood up for the intern. He shouted at his boss and made it impressively clear to him that the intern was in the right. Suddenly there was silence. For no one had experienced Karl in this way before. He was also astonished that he could talk to his superior in this way.

At that moment, Karl's collar not only burst. He simultaneously conquered his addiction to recognition. From then on, Karl communicated his opinion openly and honestly at all times. He had found himself and finally had the courage to live authentically. He unleashed his full potential and felt simply happy and free as a result.

Conclusion: As soon as you overcome your addiction to recognition, you will unleash your full potential.

How can you overcome your addiction to recognition? Which steps do you have to take to unfold your full potential? We want to accompany you on this path and therefore we have prepared a very special gift for you. Today we would like to give you the Visions Challenge. You can get your free access save here.

The Visions Challenge helps you realize what you really want and how you can align the compass of your life with your heart's desires. So take the initiative now, overcome the addiction to recognition and unleash your full potential. On this page we have summarized all information about the Visions Challenge for you.

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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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