What others think about me: Why is it so important to me?

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What others think about me: Why is it so important to me?

What do others think about me? If this question is on your mind often and you are annoyed by the fact that you let the opinions of those around you prevent you from making important decisions, then the following article will be enlightening for you.

Why do I care what others think about me?

How do I become indifferent to what others think about me? In fact, it's not that easy, and it doesn't have to be your primary goal. We live together in a community that interacts with each other. It is in the nature of us humans to want to be as well integrated as possible. After all, in the early days of mankind, exclusion from the group was tantamount to death.

Today, of course, nothing like this happens to you - at least physically - when you make a fool of yourself in society. Nevertheless, the desire to belong and to please is firmly anchored in us humans. However, if you feel dissatisfaction because your desire for acceptance and recognition is in conflict with your actual desires, you can and should work on your Self-confidence work.

Another reason why you care what others think about you is to confirm your (positive) self-image. If your self-image and how others perceive you conform, you are doing well. If, on the other hand, there is a discrepancy between how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself, which basically means that you feel excluded and misunderstood, psychological distress can arise.

Self-reflection: Who are you really?

"I'm constantly wondering what others think about me, and I've kind of lost myself in the process. In fact, I don't even know who I really am or what I want anymore." If you feel this way, you are not alone. However, through focused self-reflection, you can find yourself again. Don't worry, this is much less complicated than it might sound at first.

Basically, self-reflection simply means recognizing one's own Beliefs question and analyze your actions: Why did you act or express yourself in a certain way in a certain situation? Did you really say and do what you wanted or what you believethat was expected of you?

The more often you reflect on yourself, the easier it will be to differentiate your beliefs from societal expectations. Knowing what your opinions really are and what's important to you in life is the first step toward eventually being able to say: "I don't care what others think about me."

what do others think about me psychology

The power of personality tests: which are the best?

If you want to go one step further, you can also take a personality test in addition to the self-reflection. However, make sure that you don't take just any online test - these are usually intended for fun purposes - but a scientifically based test from a reputable source. Below we have summarized an overview of well-known tests for you:

The Art of Self-Acceptance: Loving Yourself as You Are

"I don't care what others think about me." To this Achieve goalthere is no way around the topic of self-acceptance. Disparaging remarks or negative opinions only hurt you if they hit you in a personal wound and you basically don't want to feel bad about yourself. unsafe feel. If, on the other hand, you were to accept yourself and hold your opinion with full conviction, the opinion of other people would be indifferent.

Be aware, however, that self-acceptance is a Learning process is. Especially if you have been struggling with strong self-doubt, it may take a while until you reach your goal. The following tips can support you in this process.

How do I become indifferent to what others think about me? 5 tips for more self-acceptance

1. the thought stop

"I think about what others think about me all the time ..." In this case, a targeted thought stop can help. As soon as you enter the Brooding If you get caught in a negative spiral of thoughts, you say stop very loudly and interrupt the spiral. In this way Self-doubt not solidify so easily, which in turn effectively supports the process of self-acceptance.

2. focus on the positive

Everything always fails you and you constantly get to hear condescending comments? If you are already convinced that the whole world is conspiring against you, you will probably find confirmation of this in any situation. Your perception is already conditioned to this.

The good news is that this conditioning also works in reverse. How about assuming that you are liked and successful? In that case, you'll suddenly notice a lot more things in your everyday life that are positive.

3. mindfulness

Try to live in the present and consciously perceive moments. You can neither change what was yesterday nor influence what will be tomorrow. However, you are very capable of making the best decision for yourself today based on your past experiences. When you feel comfortable with your decisions, your self-acceptance grows.

4. be lenient with yourself

"I made a mistake and now I worry what others might think about me ..." Often people are very hard on themselves. In such situations, ask yourself if you would make the same accusations to a good friend. Treat yourself as you would your best friend and give yourself encouragement, just as you would a friend.

5. coaching

Use coaching to get to the bottom of why you care so much about what others think about you. In a coaching session, the coach asks you questions to guide you step by step to the real cause. Because this is definitely an old theme that has possibly accompanied you since childhood and that shows itself again and again in the here and now. Life is knocking on your door to ask you if you want to continue as you have been. Or are you ready to work on your old blocking beliefs? For this Coaching ideal.

Solicit constructive feedback: How you can improve

"Shouldn't I not care what others think about me?" In a way, yes, however, this in no way means that you should stop working on yourself. It is important, however, that you do not let arbitrary or deliberately hurtful opinions, but to ask a trusted person for constructive advice. Feedback request.

Who the person is is of secondary importance. The important thing is that this person is willing to tell you their honest You have the right to express your opinion without being overbearing. It's not about devastating criticism, but about constructive suggestions on how you can work on your personal deficits. Conversely, you must of course be prepared to accept these suggestions.

Set the boundaries: Protect yourself from negative influence

"What others think about me sometimes hurts me quite a bit." Do you know this? The only thing that helps here is to separate yourself internally. What others think about you often says much more about them than it does about you. A negative statement reflects the FearsThese are the beliefs and convictions of the person you are talking to. This has nothing to do with you personally.

"What else can I do to make myself not care what others think about me?" In addition, it is helpful to tell yourself that the thoughts of others are simply none of your business. If someone has a low opinion of you, that's their problem, not yours. You will never be able to change another person's thoughts. Accepting this gives you inner peace.

Authenticity: Showing your true self

"What others think of me keeps me from showing my true self." If you find yourself saying this, a step-by-step approach will help. First, try to stand up for your personal opinion in a small way. Stand by it if you like a certain style of music or a movie that is not mainstream. If you succeed, work your way up to more important topics.

Next, you could try to represent your views to your friends and family. The topics are of secondary importance. Always remember: "The more Routine I get, the more indifferent I become to what others think about me." In the course of this learning process, you will eventually succeed in standing up for yourself in every situation.

Your path to self-esteem: confident and free

You can only be indifferent to what others think about you when you are convinced of yourself and your views. Furthermore, you must learn to accept yourself with all your weaknesses and faults. Only through self-acceptance will your mental wound consisting of self-doubt be closed, which is otherwise fueled by negative comments.

To achieve self-acceptance, of course, you need to know your true personality. It is not uncommon that people who have adapted for years no longer know who they really are and what they want. If this applies to you, we would like to introduce you to our scientifically based DISC personality test recommend. The implementation is free of charge.

The DISG test differentiates between four different personality types and puts their communication behavior in relation to each other. Compared to other tests, it is uncomplicated to use and easy to understand. The DISG test helps you to understand your own behavior and to exploit your strengths.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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