No desire for school: How to motivate your child again

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No desire for school: How to motivate your child again

School is by no means the best time of life for all children. In fact, there are many students who temporarily or permanently don't want to go to school. The reasons for this can be many and varied. However, parents are faced with a major problem, because monotonous appeals usually achieve little, depending on the age of the child.

But what can parents do to manage their child's truancy? In what ways do children find their Motivation and joy of learning again? These are the questions we would like to address in the following article.

Why do children sometimes not feel like going to school?

Just as you don't drive to the office every day full of euphoria, it's perfectly normal for children not to feel like going to school at times. However, it becomes problematic when a more persistent attitude of refusal sets in. This can be recognized, for example, by the fact that the Child no homework The student's performance at school declines and, ultimately, the student's promotion to the next grade is even jeopardized.

Underchallenge or overchallenge

The reasons for this negative development are not necessarily obvious to teachers and parents. One possible cause may be excessive demands, but also underchallenge. Overchallenged children are afraid of failing and repeatedly writing bad grades. They feel that they cannot keep up with the subject matter and the pace of learning. The result is resignation and refusal.

If there is consistent academic failure, a Learning Disability be the cause. This is especially true if certain sources of error stand out in particular. Does your child constantly get bad grades because he or she has problems with spelling? In this case, it is worth clarifying whether dyslexia is present. If, on the other hand, mathematics is the problem subject, it is worth testing for Dyscalculia.

However, the exact opposite can also be the case. Quite a few highly gifted children stand out at school due to poor grades as well as rebellion. This is due to boredom and a lack of connection to classroom topics. Highly gifted children need a special kind of support. What this could look like is described in the following scientific elaboration summarized.

Bullying and disputes with teachers

If your child doesn't want to go to school, there may be interpersonal problems behind it. No one wants to be in an environment that is characterized by coercion or even humiliation. This also applies to children. Whoever is the victim of Mobbing by classmates or teachers, self-explanatorily cannot learn well (anymore). An attempt is made to put as much distance as possible between oneself and the school.

Not up for school: just a phase?

Especially in teenage years, everything else suddenly seems to be more important than school: the clique, new freedoms, the first crush and the first heartbreak. This is perfectly normal and usually temporary. A lot changes in young people's lives, so their performance at school can drop temporarily. In addition, there is a certain amount of rebellion that is often typical of the teenage years.

what to do when you don't want to go to school

What can be done when children don't want to go to school?

Your child doesn't feel like going to school right now? Even if it's hard, it's important that you as a parent can help in this situation. Situation as calm as possible stay. Punishments do not lead to the desired goal, but rather intensify the unwillingness even more. First and foremost, you need to find out the causes. The best way to do this is to talk to your child and the teachers.

If you approach your child not with an attitude of reproach, but with understanding and honest interest, he or she may confide in you about why he or she doesn't feel like going to school at the moment. The older the child, the easier this will be. If your child is still very young, it can help to observe the reluctance closely: For example, does it always occur on the same days or in the same subjects?

Talk to the teachers at the latest when the transfer is at risk. Ask the teachers to describe the observations they have made regarding your child's learning behavior. Sometimes this will reveal the possible reasons for the truancy. It is important that parents and teachers work together.

10 tips to motivate children who do not want to go to school

What tips help when your child doesn't feel like going to school depends first and foremost on the cause. That's why it's so important to find out what it is. Only then can you act in a targeted manner. Below we have summarized the most important tips for more motivation, which cover various possible causes.

Tips for parents

1. praise and recognition

Especially in the case of academic failure, recognition when something has gone well is all the more important. Honest praise motivates people to continue working hard in order to repeat the feeling of success. This applies equally to adults in professional life and to students.

However, make sure your tokens of appreciation are appropriate for the age. A teenager will appreciate different rewards than an elementary school child. Small monetary gifts are fine, but they should not be too large.

2. breaking out of the routine

No desire for school and boredom usually go hand in hand. In this case, it's a matter of Learning playfully to design. This is often very successful, especially with elementary school children. Read books with your child on topics that interest them to improve their reading and spelling skills. Or go into nature with your child and explore the forest with its flora and fauna.

With older children, it can be helpful to talk about the daily routine: Does the child perhaps need a different rhythm in order to learn better again? Does he or she want to take a break first after school or get right to work on homework? Teenagers should be given a certain amount of Personal responsibility be left to

3. set realistic goals

Motivate your child to set school goals, such as writing them on a bulletin board. Is that goal is achieved, there is a previously agreed reward. Particularly with a large learning workload, it can help to divide it into small milestones. In this way, your child will not feel overwhelmed and will achieve a sense of achievement more quickly.

4. offer willingness to talk

As already mentioned, it is extremely important that you do not reproach your child, but rather signal to him or her that you are willing to talk. Not always is a lack of interest in school a pure act of defiance. Sometimes there are complex problems behind it that require action. Is your child possibly being bullied and ostracized by his or her classmates? Are there problems with the teachers?

Let your child know that you support them. Work together to see how your child can get better at school. In extreme cases, even a change of class or even school should be discussed.

5. parental control

Despite all your understanding and willingness to talk, you are still responsible for your child's future. This means that you cannot allow school to be completely slacked off. If necessary, ask the teachers or the parents of classmates about the current learning material and homework.

One possibility, for example, would be for the teacher to check the child's homework book for completeness and for the parents to countersign this when it is completed. Admittedly, no one likes that much control. But it is a good motivator for more Personal initiative. As soon as the child shows more commitment again and proves to be reliable, the control measures can of course be relaxed again.

Tips for students

You don't feel like going to school at the moment and want to be more motivated again? The following tips can help you to enjoy learning more and get better grades:

6. a good Start the day

In the morning, you are jolted out of a deep sleep by the shrill beep of your alarm clock, hurry grumpily to the bathroom, and hastily gulp down your breakfast because you are late again. Does this scenario sound familiar? It's no wonder that your motivation is limited. No one gets off to a good start in the day that way.

Therefore, make sure that your morning routine is calm and relaxed. Set a pleasant wake-up melody and set the alarm 15 minutes earlier. Fifteen minutes can make a big difference in the morning! Enjoy a warm shower and prepare a healthy breakfast. You will notice that your mood will be much better and you will be more motivated to go to school.

7. learn together with friends

Learning together is much more fun than poring over the subject matter alone. In addition, you can support each other, because everyone has their own individual strengths and weaknesses has. You don't know how to do math? Maybe your friends can help you. Are you an ace at science? Then explain to your friends the new topic they didn't understand.

8. set goals for the future

It may be that school feels absolutely unnecessary and stressful to you right now. Therefore, it can help if you keep in mind which larger goal is worth persevering for.

Do you want to become a doctor or a pilot? Then you need a high school diploma and a degree to realize these plans. You want to be financially independent one day? Also for Self-employed a good school education forms the basis.

9. care for a balance in the free time

You don't feel like going to school, but at the same time your whole life seems to revolve around it? Maybe that's where the problem lies. Even adults need a balance to be successful in their professional lives. It's no different for students. Therefore, you should look for a hobby that fulfills you and from which you can draw new strength.

10. keep a success diary

Not wanting to go to school gets worse when the failures pile up. If your basic attitude is negative anyway, you also tend to overlook the small successes. But they certainly do exist. For this reason, it is worth keeping a success diary.

You were the only student who knew the answer to a difficult question? Then write this down. Your teachers praise you for being helpful to your classmates? This also belongs in the success diary.

Conclusion: No desire for school does not have to become a permanent condition

Sooner or later, every child doesn't want to go to school. As a parent, however, it is your responsibility to find out the causes and support your child as best you can to find a solution. In our three-month training program for Learning Coach you will be taught the necessary skills.

Furthermore we would like to present you our free e-book with the title "The 10 best tips for fun and success in learning". In this compact guide, you will learn how you can accompany your child through his or her school years with fun and motivation. The 10 tips presented have been tried and tested in practice.


The 10 best tips for 
Fun and success in learning

In our free e-book you get 10 tried and tested tipsthat will help you to support your child in learning in the best possible way.
Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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