Open relationship: a good option or a lazy compromise?

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Open relationship: a good option or a lazy compromise?

You have been in a relationship for many years and still feel sexually attracted to other people? However, a fling is out of the question because you love your partner and don't want to hurt or lose him or her? In this case, it may make sense to think about the model of an open relationship. We'll tell you under what conditions this can work for everyone involved.

What is an open relationship?

There is no clear definition of what an open relationship is. Each couple defines the concrete Rules of the game for themselves. In general, however, an open relationship refers to the fact that one or both partners become sexually active with other people. The emotional Connectedness however, continues to apply to the cohabitant.

Why choose an open relationship?

The reasons for choosing an open relationship are also very individual. Ideally, both partners feel the Need after sexual adventures, which includes experiences with third parties. Such couples separate the physical from the emotional connection and may be otherwise sexually active without Jealousy or even fear of loss.

Much more often, however, the desire for an open relationship initially emanates unilaterally from one partner, while the other first becomes accustomed to the idea of an open relationship. accustom must. Sometimes the person can get involved, sometimes not: either is fine.

The trigger to think about an open relationship is usually the desire for new sexual experiences that you cannot or do not want to share with your life partner. Also the FearThe feeling of missing out on something or the desire to feel wanted again can play a supporting role. Especially if the latter applies, however, the couple relationship should be worked on first.

Interesting to know: According to an online survey by Women's Health 7 percent of the 832 women surveyed live in an open relationship.

Open relationship vs. monogamous relationship - Which way suits you?

Am I made for an open relationship? If your partner has made this suggestion to you, you will certainly think hard about this question. Ultimately, you should follow your gut feeling trustwhich means breaking away from social conventions. You have to be happy with your decision, not your environment.

However, if your inner self resists this idea, then there is no reason to try an open relationship. In this case, you should not let your partner persuade you, but stand up for your own needs. Unfortunately, this can sometimes be a Separation make necessary.

If you are just a little skeptical, but not completely averse, a trial can make sense. It is important that clear rules are established beforehand, which must be adhered to by both partners. You may find that an open relationship enriches you and even strengthens your partnership. This may sound strange, but it is by no means impossible.

open relationship rules

The benefits of an open relationship - freedom, adventure and personal growth

Are we humans created for monogamy at all, or is it merely an acquired moral concept that contradicts our natural instincts? This question has already been addressed by various Studies busy. The research results at least suggest that our Stone Age ancestors were not monogamous.

But what are the advantages of an open relationship in this day and age? Let's take a closer look at that below:

1. freedom and self-determination

Feeling (sexually) constricted can put a lot of strain on a partnership. The open relationship offers the possibility to live out sexual freedoms without dissolving the emotional connection to the partner. A separation is usually not desired at all.

Furthermore, it is worthwhile to think about who decides in the first place that monogamy is the only correct and desirable form of relationship. Why should a polygamous lifestyle be wrong if everyone involved is happy? The keyword is: away from conventions, towards self-determination.

2. harmony

Dissatisfaction within the partnership leads to quarrels, crises and in the worst case to separation. An open relationship can help prevent (sexual) dissatisfaction.

3. adventure

Maybe there's a particular fantasy you'd like to live out, but your partner doesn't? Or you're just curious about what it's like to sleep with someone else? An open relationship allows you to have a variety of sexual adventures without a guilty conscience.

4. personal growth through experience

Having an open relationship will broaden your experience. This is true not only sexually, but also emotionally. An open relationship is linked to the ability to build deep trust in your partner and to set and maintain boundaries.

Communication and honesty - The cornerstones of a successful open relationship

On the surface, it sounds quite simple: If you live in an open relationship, you can have sex whenever and with whomever you want. In practice, however, it is by no means that simple. For an open relationship to work, communication and honesty essential. Both partners have to agree in several respects where their personal boundaries lie.

The couple relationship always has priority, and no one has to tacitly tolerate anything that hurts him or her. For example, some couples agree that they don't want to know about each other's sexual adventures, while others like to hear what's going on. For some couples, it is taboo to have friendly contact with sex partners; for others, this is not a problem.

Another important point concerns the topic of contraception and protection. This requires great trust and conscientiousness. In the event of a breakdown, the partner must be informed immediately, as there is always the risk of a sexually transmitted disease. If the agreements made are not adhered to or if a partner is dishonest, the Relationship doomed to failure.

8 tips for dating and finding a partner in an open relationship - Meet new people

There are still quite few people who openly admit to having an open relationship. After all, monogamy is considered the social norm. Loving more than one person is still widely frowned upon, which doesn't necessarily make it easier to find like-minded people. With the following 8 dating tips, it can still succeed.

1. be open

Communicate openly and rather casually that you are in an open relationship. In this way, you take away the supposed sensation of the fact. Only if you make yourself known will like-minded people dare to approach you. How else would they know?

2. carry the poly flag

A sign within the polyamorous scene, with which you can show yourself to like-minded people, is the poly flag. This is blue-red-black striped, with a golden pi in the middle. Since very few monogamous people know the meaning of the flag, there is little danger of an unintentional outing. You can, for example, wear appropriate pins or earrings when you go out in the evening.

3. online dating for polygamous people

The Internet connects people with the same interests within seconds. Dare and register in appropriate exchanges or forums. Of course, you should check the seriousness of the platforms and the authenticity of the profiles beforehand. All precautionary measures that are generally to be observed when online dating apply.

4th polygamy meeting

In many cities there are special meetings where polygamous people can meet and exchange ideas. There may even be new, potential partners there. Just try it out, preferably together with your steady partner.

5. be honest with your date

If it has actually worked out with a date, it is also important to be honest from the beginning. Make it clear what you have in mind: If you are only interested in a sexual adventure outside of your relationship, you should not raise any false hopes. Make sure that your date understands the conditions and agrees to them.

6. respect

Even if you already have a steady partner and are dating other people, the basic rules of respect and appreciation naturally apply. No one deserves to be considered and treated as a mere object of lust.

7. clear boundaries

Can a date with a potential polygamous partner proceed in the same way as with monogamous singles? In principle, there is nothing against it. Unless your partner is bothered by romantic meetings with other people. You should discuss this beforehand.

8. never in the private zone of the partner

If you are in an open relationship, you can meet all kinds of people in all kinds of places. Only one thing should be taboo: The apartment and, of course, the bedroom that you share with your life partner.

At this point it is important to differentiate open relationships from polyamory. If all parties involved are open to it and even find each other attractive, there is of course nothing to be said against meeting together within one's own four walls.

what is an open relationship

Open relationship or relationship ending? How to make a decision

As mentioned before, no one can make the decision for you whether to agree to an open relationship or not. First of all, it is important to take a closer look at your desire for an open relationship: Are only sexual interests in the foreground or does your partnership lack something fundamental, which should be compensated by being together with other people?

You are also welcome to make honest Ask questions: "Am I missing something in my partnership right now - like security, closeness, appreciation - that I'm trying to compensate for on the outside?" Or does the thought of living together with only one person awaken a fear in you? 

At this point it should be clearly stated once again: An open relationship is not suitable for patching up an ailing partnership. Rather, stability, trust and unity are the basic prerequisites for the model to work.

Conclusion: An open relationship requires trust and honesty

Leading an open relationship may be a tempting thought, because this relationship model promises freedoms, which are excluded in a monogamous partnership. It is important that you do not endure it for the sake of your partner, but decide for an open relationship out of your own conviction. Concrete boundaries, communication and trust are the cornerstones here.


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