How to succeed: 5 signs of good mother-child bonding

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How to succeed: 5 signs of good mother-child bonding

The relationship between children and their mothers is something very special that shapes the growing person for a lifetime. Every mother certainly wants the best for her child, but sometimes it is not so easy to correctly interpret the signs of a good mother-child bond. The following article provides some insight.

What does attachment theory tell us about the mother-child relationship?

The Attachment theory states in a nutshell that everyone feels the need for attachment from infancy onwards. Only when the primary caregivers give the child a sense of security does it learn to rely on its own Trusting strengths and ultimately become independent.

Good bonding means that the child receives both intensive physical and emotional care. This begins shortly after birth with so-called bonding (tender skin-to-skin contact). It is also crucial to pay attention to the Needs to react quickly and appropriately. On the other hand, letting the baby cry, as was often practiced in the past, damages basic trust.

In the further course of childhood, the child should experience its mother as a reliable caregiver. Leaving them in the hands of others too early, ignorance and punishments have a negative effect on the mother-child bond. Mutual respect and following rules also play an important role.

Signs of a good mother-child bond: The early signs of a strong bond between mother and child

Does your baby refuse to be put down and is alienated when it sees other people? This behavior is often wrongly interpreted as unwanted clinging, as if the child is too fixated on the mother. However, this behavior is completely normal and even a sign of a good mother-child bond!

Your baby knows you best and trusts you the most. It cannot yet know that other people are also well-disposed towards it. That's why it seeks security from its caregiver. The older the child gets, the more openly it will approach other people. Forcing something in this respect, on the other hand, is rather counterproductive.

Later in infancy, many mothers notice that their child behaves worse with them than in kindergarten or with the grandparents. As paradoxical as it may sound, this is also a sign of good mother-child bonding. Your child can let their feelings run free with you. It knows that you still love it, even if it rages, screams and cries.

signs of good mother-child bonding puberty

The importance of non-verbal communication for bonding

Babies are not yet able to communicate verbally. This makes non-verbal communication all the more important to lay the foundation for a healthy mother-child bond. Your baby communicates through Smilecrying and body movements with you. You should learn to interpret these non-verbal signals. This usually comes naturally over time once you get to know your baby better.

Many babies suck on their fists when they are hungry, for example, or lick their lips with their tongue. Tucked-up legs and shrill crying can be a sign of abdominal pain. If your baby turns its head away from something, it is quite possible that it is distracted by too many stimuli. overwhelmed feels.

Pay attention to your child's signals and react accordingly to what they are trying to tell you. It is certainly not always possible to find out the reason for your baby's discomfort. However, the most important thing is that you child and not leave it to its own devices.

How a good mother-child bond manifests itself during puberty

Parents and children often clash during puberty. This is completely normal, after all, your teenager is in the process of forming their own personality. Cutting the cord from the parental home is an important step in this process. It is therefore a sign of good mother-child bonding during puberty if your teenager continues to ask you for advice and talk to you.

However, if this is not the case, don't be alarmed! Some teenagers need more privacy than others and you should give them this. Boys in particular are often less forthcoming with their mothers than girls. Basically, the more you pressurize a teenager, the more withdrawn they will be towards you.

Another sign of good mother-child bonding during puberty is that your teenager honest to you. If he has made a mistake and may even face consequences, he will come to you and talk to you about it. Your child doesn't need to lie to you because he can be sure that you have his back.

Signs of good mother-child bonding: The role of active listening and empathy in the relationship

Active listening means that you really want to understand your child. You don't just listen passively and let your mind wander to your shopping list, but try to put yourself in your child's shoes and ask questions.

The emotional component plays an important active listening an important role. You try - to put it literally - to read between the lines. It's not unusual for children to use their own descriptions, which don't always make sense to adults at first.

But if you actively listen, you will become much more sensitive to what your child really wants to tell you. This closes the circle: being understood and taken seriously strengthens the bond between mother and child.

Signs of good mother-child bonding: 5 tips to strengthen your bond with your child

Now you already know some important signs of a good mother-child bond. You can further strengthen your bond with the following tips:

1. unconditional love

Do not give your child the Feelingthat your affection is conditional (e.g. good behavior, good grades, etc.). Withdrawal of love is never an appropriate punishment, but emotional abuse.

2. laughing together

Get involved in your child's world and laugh wholeheartedly when they are happy about something. Make each other laugh as often as you can. Together Moments of happiness strengthen the bond.

3. take your child's feelings seriously

Of course it is exhausting to accompany a child's tantrum. But take their feelings seriously! Let them know that you are there and resolve the situation as soon as your child has calmed down again.

4. apologize

No one is perfect, and of course that goes for mothers too! It can and will happen that you shout at your child out of sheer stress or react inappropriately to their behavior. As an adult, be a role model and apologize to your child for this.

5. take time for your child

An important sign of a good mother-child bond is that you enjoy spending time together. It would be very sad to see your child as an unpleasant task. Your child will sense this. Everyday life is certainly stressful at times. That's completely normal. That's why it's all the more important to focus on the nice moments together. These can even be small things.

signs of good mother-child bonding

How coaching can help families improve their relationship

The signs of good mother-child bonding can be illuminated wonderfully in the context of professional coaching. A coach can help you to Strengthen self-confidence as a mother and (re)master everyday family life with new energy and joy.

First of all, your initial situation is analyzed: Where are there problems and what are the underlying causes? Often, negative experiences from your own childhood and harmful Beliefs The cause if you suffer from attachment difficulties. These need to be uncovered and ultimately resolved.

Long-term benefits of a secure mother-child bond

Interestingly, the most important sign of a good mother-child bond only comes into play later in life. Self-confident and independent adults who can bond securely with their partner have often experienced a stable mother-child relationship. They have learned from an early age that they are valuable personalities and can also trust other people.

Conclusion: Bonding as the foundation for a lifelong relationship of trust

Knowing the signs of a good mother-child bond is fundamentally important, as this first bonding experience has an impact on a person's entire life. The mother is the first person to whom a person is attached. If she gives the child love and attention, the foundation is laid for healthy self-confidence in adulthood.

Furthermore, the mother is the first person of trust. Anyone who has not even been able to trust their own mother will find it difficult to have healthy and equal partnerships later in life. This makes it all the more important not to attach conditions to your love for your child and to give them the feeling that you are always there for them.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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