Get out of the victim role: Release your old blockades

Reading time 6 minutes
Get out of the victim role: Release your old blockades

Everything always goes wrong and you are supposed to be responsible! Surely the others only want to annoy you. Sulking, you retreat into your victim attitude. There's no point in rebelling against it.

This attitude helps you even less. Stop the eternal whining and get out of the victim role! Learn, Assume responsibility and reflect on why and when you took this position in the first place. Here you can learn how this works.

Recognizing and leaving the victim role for a self-determined life

There's no cure for some problems. You'll be disappointed, you'll have setbacks - but that's no reason to feel like a victim. Feeling sorry for yourself is a natural reaction to Disappointments, but you don't have to wallow in it too much.

You can usually recognize typical victim behavior in others better than in yourself.

"Always me," is the classic exclamation of supposed victims. It contains all the frustration that comes up during negative experiences. Life is simply unfair - how can you avoid feeling sorry for yourself?

An another symptom for the victim attitude is the rejection of personal responsibility. No, fate, chance or another person is responsible for your bad luck. Added to this is the Fearthat every misfortune should affect you personally. Gradually, thoughts of revenge come to you.

Then at least you want to blaspheme - if you're already in the Victim role you can at least blow off some steam with it. swjfhdskjfhsdkjfdshfjkdsfhdjfgerjmngesryg,fuye4gteilruy

It would be much more sensible to interpret the signs correctly and gain more control yourself. If you recognize your own victim attitude and supposed helplessness, you can free yourself from it. You are not powerless in the situation. So get out of the victim role and into action!

What is the victim role? Definition and typical behavior patterns

Getting out of the victim role sounds like a blanket solution. Of course, there are many things we cannot influence. Loss, pain, disappointments and attacks - we have to live with them. But there's no point in shifting the blame onto others and seeing ourselves as victims.

What is the victim role anyway? Many people slip into this passive role in order to cope with disappointments and other negative experiences. This is often done out of self-protection, to get help. But it can also be a kind of convenience.

Sometimes it is also other people who turn less self-confident people into victims. Here it is particularly difficult to get out of the victim role.

Most of the time, the victim attitude shows itself in an exaggerated whining mode. A plate is broken and you already know that this could only happen to you. A colleague is praised - you automatically feel set back. No wonder the supposed victims prefer to remain passive: In their opinion, it's not worth trying to change anything.

Self-determined life

Causes of victimhood: experiences, beliefs, and personality traits.

In most cases, it's not failures that lead to victimhood. No, typically, it is the everyday pitfalls that negative beliefs trigger and especially put people with low self-esteem in the victim role.

One cause of victimhood is convenience. It is so easy to blame others for one's own situation. The victim himself feels innocent and at the same time feels safe in his powerless position. Let the others do it.

Through their victim role, those affected want to attract pity and attention. They reject good advice for the future. They often accuse their helpers of not understanding anything. They prefer to stick to supposed soul mates who also only complain and whine.

Victims often believe that they are basically better than other people. In this way, they feel morally superior - after all, the others are the guilty ones. Behind this is often the desire for recognition. But in order to become active, to find real affirmation, those affected are often not self-confident enough.

Impact of victimhood on life: Relationships, career and self-esteem

Those who remain in the role of victim in the long term also have in the Relationship Problems. The victims are extremely quick to take offense and hold grudges. The partner does not understand them and does not give them enough comfort. Where is the compassion? Get out of the victim role, when they hear this request, they wave it off. After all, it's not their fault that they got into this Roll were pushed.

Even compassionate types in victim mode have a hard time in the workplace. They believe that colleagues are taking advantage of them or bullying them. When something doesn't work out, they lament that they're not responsible for anything. Instead of fixing a difficult situation, they blame other colleagues.

Protracted excuses and blame-shifting show how difficult it is for the alleged victims to take responsibility themselves. And this eternal dramatizing! Then they also constantly compare themselves with others and always see themselves at a disadvantage.

Self-reflection: Recognizing and questioning one's own victim role

Bad experiences do not have to be a Reason to become a victim. You can see that from the fact that some people with a difficult fate remain optimistic. Do you think that you are a victim - a plaything of fate? Then get out of the victim role and control your life yourself.

With a little introspection and the following questions, you can tell if you tend to be a victim.

  • Do you spend a long time fretting when something goes wrong?
  • Are you easily offended or insulted?
  • Are you sensitive to criticism?
  • How long have you had to deal with setbacks?
  • Are you struggling with your destiny?

Realize that you have feelings can influence yourself. No one can bug you if you don't let them.

Of course there are Mobbing and other attacks. But you should not let yourself become a victim of the little nickel and dime in everyday life.

Taking responsibility: the first step towards change

In some situations, you may truly be the victim and need help. But a chronic victim attitude makes your life permanently difficult. That's why you should get out of the victim role. It starts with taking responsibility.

If you are the victim - who is the perpetrator? Is there even one, or are you just telling yourself that? Do you allow yourself to be victimized or perhaps even feel comfortable in this comfortable role?

By becoming aware of your own responsibility, you strengthen your Self-esteem. Admitting your own mistakes is an important step. As you gradually take more and more responsibility for your actions, you build yourself up. In this way, you will be able to develop your personality and your Make life more pleasant.

Techniques and Strategies: Out of the Victim Role and into Active Shaping

The role change from victim to active person brings you more control over your life. You become more active again. The following techniques and strategies will help you to do this:

  1. Become aware of your inner attitude and write your self-pitying Beliefs on. This way you can see them in front of you and argue against them.
  2. Use the humor lever: Use your whining as a starting point for an upbeat Mantra.
  3. Learn from your mistakes when something doesn't work out.
  4. Recognize the opportunity when you face new challenges. You may be proving yourself in an emergency situation.
  5. Set goals and work towards them. This way you increase your activity and become more decisive.
  6. Talk to trusted people about your worries. But do not seek their pity, but genuine understanding.

Seeking support: professional help, support groups and mentors.

It is not always possible to get out of the victim role alone. For some people, this victim attitude is accompanied by mental illness. In the case of burnout and depression, a professional psychotherapy be advisable.

To avoid falling back into the victim role, it may be worthwhile to attend a support group. Working with a mentor or coach also helps to shed the victim mindset.

Patience and perseverance: change as a process

Getting out of the victim role - this is usually a longer process. When bitterness, envy, and other negative feelings become the Habit it takes a while to get over them. So you need something Patienceuntil you have discarded self-pity. Personality Development does not work overnight. So you should make sure you have enough Time take to change you in a positive way.

Conclusion: Out of the victim role - for a fulfilled and self-determined life

For a better quality of life and a stronger self-esteem, you like to work on yourself. In the Greator personality articles you will find useful information and tips on how to change your life. With this support, you can get out of the victim role - and determine your own actions and feelings.


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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