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Learning to let go: How to gain clarity and feel free again

Reading time 9 minutes
Learning to let go: How to gain clarity and feel free again

Learning to let go - the topic catches up with us again and again in so many situations in everyday life. We often hold on to relationships, habits or routines even though we know it's not doing us any good. Why is it so hard for us to let go of a person, especially after a breakup? Do we really miss the person or perhaps rather the Habitthat someone with whom we have shared our lives will then no longer be there? What is the issue of letting go? Lack of Self-confidence, pessimism or fear of the future are the most common reasons that prevent us from simply letting go and taking control of our lives again.

At the same time, there are a lot of things that burden us and that we should therefore banish from our lives. Only when we learn to let go, will we succeed in detaching ourselves from the past and living a happy, successful and fulfilled life according to our own wishes and ideas.

What does letting go mean?

Letting go of emotional baggage has a liberating effect. A famous saying from Buddhism says: "Learn to let go, that is the key to happiness." (Buddha). Yet we often hold on for years DisappointmentsThe result is a clear picture of the patient's condition, mental injuries or traumatic experiences.

However, the inner psychological burdens that have often accumulated since childhood do not simply vanish into thin air. Psychological wounds usually accompany us until we manage to forgive, forget or simply let go.

Learning to let go means that we consciously let go of negative experiences from the Past and thus take responsibility for our lives again.

Let go for your peace of mind

Do you find it difficult to let go of emotional injuries? Have you become more suspicious or cautious because you have been treated badly? Do you cling to your Relationshipeven though you know that the partnership has long been doomed to failure? It is important to let go so that you can regain your peace of mind and develop further.

Accept that something has happened to you that contradicts your life plan. Everyone has negative experiences in life and we cannot always influence our destiny. However, we are able to identify harmful behavior patterns and change our behavior.

You want to learn to let go? Then it's best to start right away. Don't waste a second of your life holding on to people or things that make you unhappy. Letting go means saying goodbye to stressful situations that stand in the way of a happy, carefree future. When you learn to let go, you will become truly free and happy be!

What can you let go of?

Mostly it is negative feelings or thoughts that burden us and limit us in our daily life. The experiences we have made in the past determine our life planning and thus our future.

When a partnership no longer satisfies your needs or even makes you unhappy, it may be necessary to let go. Learning to let go when a relationship has ended means regaining some freedom and independence.

Depending on your life situation, there may be different things that are bothering you and that you should let go of. Learning to let go of children is a great challenge for many parents. Often, it's just the (usually unjustified) worry that the offspring won't be able to cope with life without parental support.

Dabei ist es sehr wichtig, dass Eltern loslassen lernen, damit die Kinder erwachsen werden und ihr eigenes Leben führen können. In Wirklichkeit kannst du Loslassen lernen von Kindern, denn ihnen fällt es wesentlich leichter, Personen oder Dinge loszulassen und sich weiterzuentwickeln, sodass beim Loslassen lernen Kinder viel unbeschwerter sind als die Erwachsenen.

Burdensome things you can let go of are:

  • a toxic relationship
  • the loss of a loved one
  • Criticism that your Self-confidence mitigates
  • Disappointments that still bother you
  • traumatic experiences
  • Behavior patterns that are not good for you

In addition, there are physical items that may have been lying dormant in your drawers and closets for years that you have not been able to part with, even though they no longer fit into your life. Therefore, you should simply let them go by disposing of them or giving them away. In this way, you create space for something new, for things that bring you joy and inspire you.

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What happens when you let go?

Being able to let go is an important process. The decision to let go of something or a person is yours alone. Letting go of a stressful situation is very liberating!

The process of letting go begins with a wide variety of feelings, such as:

  • Rage
  • Jealousy
  • Fear
  • Offense
  • Despair
  • Grief

As soon as you let go, something wonderful happens. You feel liberated and relieved. A situation or person that has burdened or limited you so far suddenly loses its importance.

Letting go is initially an exhausting process that can be felt physically and psychologically and can trigger a wide range of emotions. If you want to learn to let go, you should be aware of the negative effects that holding on to old and long outdated behavior patterns has on your life.

Pay attention to your perceptions and ask yourself what you are afraid of? What consequences do you fear so much that you have not been able to let go? Are your fears really well-founded?

Don't hold on to the past anymore

Realize that letting go could also have positive consequences. Your Life becomes easier and happierAfter you have let go of old ballast and no longer hold on to long past experiences. Say it out loud, "I'm ready to let go now!"

By letting go, you stop the negative thought carousel at the same time. Questions like, "Why did something like this have to happen to me of all people?" Or "Why is fate so unjust?" belong to the past, because they don't get you anywhere in life.

Learning to let go is the first step in getting rid of everything that is holding you back in your Personality Development and take your life back into your own hands. Have confidence in yourself and know that you can let go.

What happens when we don't let go?

Letting go is not always easy. Many people find it difficult to let go of an unhappy End relationship. Often, out of habit, we remain in situations that harm us or prevent us from living the way we want to.

If we cannot let go, our soul suffers and this can also manifest itself physically, through:

  • Sleep disorders
  • Constant irritability
  • Pondering and circling thoughts
  • Feelings of anger and hatred
  • Depression
  • Self Rejection
  • Concentration disorders
  • Psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches
  • Addictive behavior

Learning to let go is the only way we can free ourselves from this vicious circle of negative thoughts and enjoy our lives again.

There are often important reasons for not being able to let go. These include, for example:

  • Mourning for a deceased person you can not forget
  • The Pain of Separationbecause the partner has broken up with you
  • Disease-causing behavior patterns that we cannot overcome
  • The fear of negative consequences from letting go
  • Fear of being alone (in case of partnership problems)
  • Angst, es nicht allein zu schaffen (bei Mobbing im Job)

However, if you don't let go, nothing in your life will change. Your problems at work or in your partnership will continue to burden you. Unfavorable habits that you can't let go of can harm your health.

By learning to let go, you develop yourself further. You actively shape your life and influence your future. An important experience in learning to let go is to trust yourself more and more. That you are good the way you are. And above all, that you have now taken a courageous step. You have closed a door and behind the new one only positive, magical moments can be waiting for you.

10 tips to help you learn to let go

Learning to let go helps you to recognize connections and to separate from burdensome things in your life. With these tips it will be easier for you to let go.

1. accept changes

Change is a part of life. Accept that the past is gone and that life goes on for you, even if the relationship or employment ends. Learning to let go of the past is an important step on the way to a carefree future. Be open to new things and you will soon realize that life has many beautiful things in store for you. Besides, the beautiful memories of your partnership or the successes in your job will remain, even if you no longer mourn the past.

2. strengthen your self-esteem

Learning to let go of love is one of the hardest things to do. A broken relationship can give the Self-esteem do a lot of harm. Be proud of yourself if you still managed to get out of an unhappy partnership. Remember that you deserve better! Do not stay lonely at home, but strengthen your self-esteem by meeting new people who are good for you and accept you for who you are.

3. allow yourself to grieve

With every loss comes grief. We grieve when a loved one dies, when marriage fails, when our children leave home, or when we lose our jobs. Don't overwhelm yourself, but take enough time to grieve. When you live out the grief, letting go will be easier.

4. learn from the experience of others

Most people have to learn to let go of their feelings in their lives. Ask others who have been in a similar situation to you about their experiences. In addition to talking with others who have been affected, reading testimonials, books or reports that deal with your topic can be very helpful in learning to let go.

5. change the environment

The end of a long-term relationship is difficult to cope with. Learning to let go, separation and the change in life circumstances can be very stressful at first. It's easier for you in a different environment, Make decisions about your future life. Of course, you don't have to move for this. During a day trip, a short break in another city or a relaxing vacation, you can focus on yourself and deal with the topic of letting go.

6. do not expect too much at once

Learning to let go is a longer process that takes some time. Do not expect too much from yourself and have Patience. Even if it takes a while to let go, each small step brings you closer to your goal.

7. do not give up!

When letting go, there are also setbacks. Sometimes it's hard to let go of something or a person because you don't want to admit your own failure. Stop blaming yourself and look ahead. Life goes on, even if your project has failed.

8. decide for yourself what you want to let go of

You alone decide about your life! If parents, friends or the spouse press you, make it clear that you make your own decisions! Decide consciously what you want to let go of and decide when the right time has come to let go.

9. get professional support

Sometimes situations are so difficult or so stressful that we can't overcome them without help. Do you feel overwhelmed? Then get professional support from a psychologist, psychotherapist or a coach. A let-go learning therapy helps to gain clarity, Set priorities and to shape your life according to your wishes.

10. think positive!

Getting rid of negative thoughts works best when you think positively. Look forward to your future and think about what you have already achieved. Letting go is much easier with a positive mindset.

learning to let go separation

5 exercises to help you learn to let go

You can learn to let go with these five exercises.

1. write down your thoughts

Erwartungen loslassen lernen ist anfangs ungewohnt. Schreibe deine Gedanken, die dir beim Thema Loslassen in den Sinn kommen, einfach auf. Wenn dich eine Trennung belastet und es dir schwerfällt, die Person emotional loszulassen, schreib ihr einfach einen Brief, in dem du deine Gefühle und Gedanken in Worte fasst. Schreibe alles nieder, was ungesagt geblieben ist. Danach zerreißt oder verbrennst du den Brief, damit du die Vergangenheit endgültig loslassen und dich deiner Zukunft zuwenden kannst.

2. change the perspective

A change of perspective helps you to see things or problems from the other person's point of view. By putting yourself in the other person's shoes, you will better understand their reasons and thus learn to let go of your partner, a friend or your child.

3. talk to like-minded people

Talking to like-minded people is helpful because you get valuable tips. At the same time, you experience that you are not alone with your problems and worries. There are opportunities to talk, for example, in self-help groups or on Internet forums.

4: Use a mantra

A mantra is a word or phrase that is meant to comfort you, inspire you, and give you strength. Positive affirmations create positive feelings. Use a mantra, such as "I can do this" or "I can let go now" to stop negative feelings or thoughts. Think of an empowering phrase to say out loud every time you feel sad or discouraged. Mantras have proven to be very helpful in learning to let go.

5. mucking out

Emotional decluttering works much like cleaning out overflowing drawers or closets. If you want to learn to let go and trust, you must first sort out your thoughts and feelings. Recognize what harms you and what robs you of your creativity. The question, "Is this still needed or can it go?" can be applied to material goods as well as problems, things and habits that we want to let go of.

Learning to let go provides more satisfaction and helps you in your personal development.

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