Feel security - this is how you find emotional warmth

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Feel security - this is how you find emotional warmth

Security is an important feeling. Our well-being depends on whether we feel accepted and are allowed to feel emotional warmth. The desire for security is a basic human need. The fact that many people nevertheless complain about a lack of nest warmth depends on negative life experiences, but also on their own social behavior.

Even as babies, we long for security and safety. We experienced this pleasant feeling in the womb before we were born. That's why we don't want to do without it in life. However, some people search for security throughout their lives.

Do you feel defenceless at the mercy of a loveless environment? Why this is so important for us, how the feeling influences our relationships and how you can find love and security, you will learn in this article.

What is security?

Is it a feeling or a state? What conditions must be present for us to feel secure? Dictionaries describe it as a sense of security and well-being. At the same time, it is acknowledged that it is about more than just security and protection.

Security symbolizes closeness, warmth, peace and tranquility. In the Celtic horoscope, the chestnut is considered a symbol of security. Horse chestnut represents peace, security and reconciliation.

Sometimes longing determines the entire planning of one's life. In the search for an environment in which one feels safe and secure, one will Relationships entered into and decisions made.

There is no single, universally binding definition. This is because everyone defines these feelings differently. While for one person emotional warmth means being together with a love partner, others associate a comfortably furnished home with security.

The Need for backing is particularly great in childhood. Children depend on their parents for care and support. In adulthood, we can take care of ourselves. We feel security and love in a relationship. Those who live alone and without a partner must provide for themselves.

security meaning

Why it is important for us to feel secure

Security is a basic need. Emotional warmth helps us feel safe and protected. These feelings can arise during intimate embraces by a person from the heart. The certainty of finding love, support and stability in a partnership makes us feel secure.

Basic trust is also one of the feelings of security. Basic trust is a social attitude. This is shaped by experiences in the first months of life.

Depending on the extent of the acquired basic trust, we develop courage or shyness. In the first stage of life, security is particularly important. It influences the ability to allow closeness and to build relationships with other people.

A lack of security makes itself felt through feelings such as anger and fear, as well as a lack of resistance to stress. Often, small things are enough to feel secure. Many people associate a hot bath with aromatic additives, a cup of coffee or a view of the sea with this.

Everyday rituals can also evoke feelings of security. Habits such as walking the dog or a cozy evening watching TV have a positive effect on our sense of well-being. The feeling that we can rely on our family or circle of friends gives us security.

Difference between security and safety

The terms security and safety are often used synonymously. However, they differ from each other in their meaning. Security means having a roof over one's head. The term security means economic security as well as a secure political situation. Security also means the freedom to walk the streets at any time without fear.

While safety is a rational concept, security is connected to the emotional level. Being secure has a positive effect on our experience and on our Personality Development off. It includes positive feelings like:

  • emotional warmth
  • Near
  • Affection
  • Comfort
  • Understanding
  • Wellbeing
  • Acceptance


How security influences our relationships

Emotional security is a cornerstone in any relationship. In a functioning partnership, both feel safe and secure. With our partner, we exchange thoughts and talk about our own emotional world.

Feeling secure is the prerequisite for a lasting relationship. It is just as important as Trust, honesty and reliability. In difficult situations, it is especially important to feel secure. Security arises when both support each other, listen to each other and show understanding.

Uncertainty awakens feelings of fear

Security in a relationship depends largely on feeling accepted and safe. Uncertainty arouses feelings of anxiety. A lack of affection and security can lead to conflict.

Feelings of security arise from a deep emotional bond. Physical closeness is only one aspect of a love relationship. It is much more about feelings, respect, Acceptance and tolerance. Security can be expressed in physical contact, but also in words and actions.

Listen empathetically to your partner. Take the needs of your loved one seriously. Popular security sayings illustrate the importance of feelings of security. Examples include: "Only a person who has experienced love knows security" or: "The main goal of longing is called security".

Different types of security

Does security have meaning for you? You can find it in every area of life. There are even different types of security.

Inner security

Inner security means being at peace with yourself. Mental strength grows when you Time alone without feeling lonely. Through inner security comes inner strength.

Social security

Whether you feel secure depends largely on your own social behavior. People are social beings. Being alone and loneliness do not take precedence. You feel social security in your social environment. Do you feel secure at work, at school, at university and in your club?

Those who are alone find it more difficult to develop feelings of security. Human warmth is created through shared activities. This can be a hike with the hiking group, an outing with the sports club or a trip to the movies with friends. Shared activities help everyone feel secure.

Community security

Community experiences shape the feeling of security. The family is the first place of security in our lives. Ideally, both parents take care of their children. The shared experience influences whether we feel secure.

Light-hearted, happy hours that we experience together with parents and siblings are bright spots in everyday life. You can also find security in the community among friends and acquaintances.

How to find security

People feel secure when they have the experience of being accepted. Security is based on the feeling of being able to rely on something. However, this basic human need is often not fulfilled.

The question arises as to how one can find security. In our modern society, human warmth and affection are lacking. The fear of being alone leads to the fact that no feelings of this kind can develop. Many relationships fail, for lack of time, indifference and lack of security.

To feel secure, you don't have to have a partner by your side. Perhaps it will help you to realize that your happiness is not dependent on other people, more mindful to deal with you. Security arises from yourself. Self-acceptance and self-love are necessary to build a benevolent relationship with yourself.

The ability to value one's own personality does not come naturally, but Self-love is learnable.

Accepting yourself as you are has nothing to do with egoism. Self-acceptance means to accept your own strengths and weaknesses to accept. Mindfulness is the key to taking good care of yourself and feeling secure.

Obstacles in the search

Finding a foothold in an uncertain, ever-changing world is not easy. Uncertainty and loneliness are obstacles that stand in the way of our search for security.

Dissatisfaction with the professional or private situation impairs mental well-being and does not allow feelings of security to arise. Lack of self-confidence and mistrust of others are not conducive to the search for security.

What can give us emotional security? There is no universal way to feel more secure. If you don't feel secure and want to change your life, we recommend coaching with an life coach.

Or do the Greator training yourself life coach and support others in releasing inner blocks and strengthening self-confidence. Security is a magical power. When you feel secure and well taken care of, you are stronger and go through life easier!


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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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