Suppressing feelings: Why it makes you unhappy and sick

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Suppressing feelings: Why it makes you unhappy and sick

Being in harmony with your own feelings means feeling balanced inside and radiating this to the outside world. A desirable state, no question. Nevertheless, there are many people who suppress their feelings. Find out below how to recognize whether you are affected and what you can change if in doubt.

Why do we suppress feelings? - A deep insight

Finding an open approach to one's feelings is not so easy. There are many reasons for this, and upbringing is likely to play a major role. Observe young children: they give free rein to their anger and resentment. They crylash out or even throw themselves on the floor. These are all behaviors that we adults find deeply inappropriate.

Most parents therefore try to teach their children from an early age that negative emotions such as anger, sadness and rage should not be expressed. In the course of development, the child learns to feelings to suppress their feelings in order to please their caregivers. As an adult, the person may then have forgotten how to perceive feelings and is therefore unable to deal with them constructively.

Another reason for wanting to suppress feelings is to consciously avoid emotional suffering. At first glance, it doesn't seem so far-fetched: if I don't deal with my negative emotions, they won't affect me. However, this is a fallacy. The negative feelings don't disappear, but then emerge in other - usually harmful - ways.

The effects of repressed feelings on your personality

Suppressing feelings can have devastating effects on personality development, as current research shows. Studies show. This begins in childhood and continues into adulthood. Inner growth comes about through confronting negative emotions. If this is avoided due to false self-protection, the Personality Development.

People who suppress their feelings never experience the ability to overcome (emotional) crises. Instead, they often use destructive compensation mechanisms (e.g. addictive substances). Suppressing feelings is a risk factor for developing a unsafe personality that is not up to the challenges of everyday life in the long term.

5 signs that you are suppressing your feelings

The biggest difficulty is to first admit to yourself that you are suppressing your feelings. This does not always happen consciously. You should therefore look out for specific warning signals. These can be both physical and emotional in nature.

The 5 most common physical signs of suppressed feelings

  1. Headaches and back pain
  2. Sleep disorders (especially nocturnal brooding)
  3. Muscle tension
  4. Loss of appetite
  5. Permanent tiredness

The 5 most common psychological signs of suppressed feelings

  1. Sadness
  2. Lack of concentration
  3. Forgetfulness
  4. Fears
  5. Lack of drive (no longer feeling like doing anything)
suppress feelings of self-protection

How does suppressing your feelings influence your decisions?

As already briefly mentioned, suppressed feelings are by no means gone. You have merely integrated them into your Subconscious banished. However, the emotions that you have not dealt with will haunt you again and again. This often comes into play when making important decisions - be they of a professional or personal nature. People who suppress their feelings are all the more dominated by them.

Let's say you've received a job offer you've been waiting for a long time. Instead of dealing realistically with the challenges and necessary organizations, your suppressed emotions (e.g. feelings of guilt, self-doubt) will make you doubt or tempt you to take rash action. This can have fatal consequences and ruin many opportunities for you.

The same applies to suppressing feelings in relationships: Those who are unable to perceive their own feelings are hardly in a position to respond empathetically to the feelings of a potential partner. Conflicts and wrong decisions are inevitable here.

Connection between suppressed feelings and physical health

Suppressing feelings not only harms the psyche, but can even make you physically ill. This has been scientifically proven by Studies is proven. The negative feelings do not disappear, but smoulder. If they are ignored despite the need to come to terms with them, this will eventually manifest itself on a physical level.

Your body is constantly under tension due to unresolved emotional conflicts. In the short term, a stress reaction is easy to tolerate and even useful for recognizing dangers and reacting quickly. However, if you don't take a break to recover, the permanently elevated level of stress hormones leads to a variety of physical symptoms (see list above).

In the long term, people who suppress their feelings have an increased risk of Cardiovascular diseaseshigh blood pressure, stomach ulcers, asthma and sleep disorders. This goes from Investigations by the UKGM out.

8 steps to recognizing and accepting your feelings

Step 1: Pause for a moment

The first step for people who suppress their feelings is to learn to let go of the immediate repression mechanism. The next time you experience a negative Emotion then be careful not to distract yourself immediately.

Let the emotion value-free to. It is allowed to be there. However, be lenient with yourself if you find yourself repressing it again at first. Recognizing the latter is also progress!

Step 2: Write down

Once you have managed to hold on to a negative feeling a few times, you can go one step further: Take a notepad and keep an emotion diary. Write down which feelings you have noticed. Naming feelings not only helps you to perceive them in the first place, but also to recognize them. accept.

Step 3: Recognize connections

Are you often angry or sad? Then you can try to recognize the connections in the third step. Are there always similar situations that trigger the respective negative emotion in you? What personal trigger points are there?

Step 4: Root cause analysis

Once you have recognized which emotions overwhelm you in which situations, it's time to investigate the causes: Why does this or that make you angry or sad? Often negative associations from the Past (e.g. childhood trauma) or negative beliefs causal.

Step 5: Reconditioning

Now comes the most painful step: coming to terms with the unpleasant feelings that have usually been suppressed for years. In many cases, professional support from a coach or therapist is useful.

Step 6: Everyday practice

You are now aware of your repressed feelings and have worked through possible causes. Now it's time for long-term healing. Develop strategies for dealing with negative emotions in the long term and not suppressing them again. A suitable outlet for dealing with unpleasant feelings is a stable circle of friends with whom you can talk about your feelings. Fears and worries.

Step 7: Acceptance

Negative emotions are part of life. Suppressing feelings, on the other hand, does not solve problems, but rather increases them in the long term. At this point, it is important to realize that you need to accept your feelings immediately and express them in a constructive way. More on this in the next step.

Step 8: Constructive handling

A constructive way of dealing with negative emotions could be as follows:

  • Always address things that bother you promptly and objectively. This applies both professionally and privately.
  • Express your emotions in a creative way (writing, drawing).
  • Reduce mental stress through physical activity.
  • Talk to trusted people about your feelings.

Emotional self-help techniques - no more suppressing feelings and releasing blockages

If you tend to want to suppress your feelings, you should know the most important techniques for emotional self-help. In acute cases, tapping and breathing techniques have proven effective. Or how about the following instead YogaPilates or progressive muscle relaxation? All of these techniques have been proven to help reduce stress and restore inner balance. You can find further inspiration for emotional self-help here.

Professional coaching can also effectively support you in identifying and working through negative beliefs and blockages. A coach helps you to help yourself. They provide you with the proverbial tools so that you can learn to deal with your negative emotions in the long term.

Suppressing feelings: When is it time to seek professional help?

Basically, your personal level of suffering is crucial! If you feel massively restricted in your everyday life or just depressed, don't be afraid to seek professional help. This is never a sign of weakness, but of Self-reflection and strength.

Personal development through emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence has nothing to do with school grades or academic qualifications. Rather, it is about perceiving your own feelings and the emotions of other people, classifying them correctly and acting empathetically. Emotional intelligence is the hallmark of responsible people and leaders who guide and inspire others.

To some extent, this ability is innate, but emotional intelligence can be strengthened. You can find out exactly how to do this in our comprehensive Professional article on the topic.

The path to a more authentic self

Acknowledging and expressing feelings is the key to personal well-being and to an authentic Appearance. The latter is crucial for your success in all areas of life. The reason why so many people suppress their feelings and therefore feel unsuccessful and unhappy are often past traumas.

At this point we would therefore like to offer you our free Trauma Masterclass to your heart. Together with our experts, you will discover the cause of your suppressed feelings and learn how to let go of blocking beliefs.



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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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