Ending a toxic relationship: How to escape the nightmare

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Ending a toxic relationship: How to escape the nightmare

An toxic relationship is literally pure poison. It sucks you dry emotionally and poisons your thoughts and self-esteem. It is characterized by a true rollercoaster of emotions. Because one moment you love each other, the next you hate each other and would love to bash each other's heads in. You can find out how to end a toxic relationship in this article.

You are not good for each other and you know it very well. Yet you cannot get away from each other, and that is the big problem. Whenever you think you can break away from each other now, you attract each other again like a strong magnet.

In any toxic relationship there is a dominant and a dependent Part. In some cases, both partners also swap roles again and again. The dominant part is in the foreground and he is well aware of this. He treats his partner from above and makes him/her believe that he/she is nothing. value. The dependent part submits to this chicanery.

How do I end a toxic relationship?

Ending a toxic relationship is even more difficult than breaking away from a healthy partnership. When people suddenly part ways, it's never easy. But a toxic relationship is like a drug: you can't do without it, but if you're honest, you can't do with it either.

If you dare to take this step, it is important that you find your way back to yourself and remember that you are a valuable person. You have so many strengths and your family and friends love you, even if your toxic partner told you otherwise for months or even years. Spend a lot of time with them now and confide in them. Talk about what you have experienced. In this way you can better process the difficult time and deal with the Past conclude.

In order for this to be possible, you must not allow yourself to be pulled back into the clutches of this toxic partnership. One thing you can believe: Your ex-partner will always try to get you back, because he/she needs someone to humiliate in order to increase his/her own self-esteem. Break off contact completely and ask your loved one to do the same.

how to get out of a toxic relationship

Finally end the toxic relationship: 7 tips

Emotionally detaching from a toxic partner is incredibly difficult. What you need is an incredible amount of willpower, the support of your loved ones and trust in yourself. So that you can finally end the toxic relationship, we would like to give you ten valuable tips.

1. reclaim your independence

Your toxic partner has done everything in their power to make you as dependent on them as possible. The first step to freeing yourself from this relationship is to regain your independence. Apply for a new job that pays enough to make ends meet on your own. Set up your own account and create new email accounts that your partner can't access. Scan your devices for spyware if you have it. Feeling he/she is spying on you.

2. visualize your life after the relationship

It is the Fear before the "after", which keeps most people from breaking up. The more detailed you imagine your life after the toxic relationship and plan it accordingly, the easier it will be for you to break out.

Where can you live? How do you finance your life? How and with whom do you spend your free time? Banish uncertainty.

3. do not blame yourself

Yes, it takes two to make a relationship work. Of course, you are not entirely innocent of one or the other conflict. But you are by no means the reason why your relationship has taken on such toxic characteristics. No matter what your partner wants to tell you, you have nothing to blame yourself for.

4. don't believe anyone who promises change for the 100th time

In most cases, a toxic person is well aware that he or she is causing suffering. Again and again, your partner promises you that he/she will change so that you will stay. But nothing ever happens. If the process is the same over and over again, you can be almost sure that he/she is not serious. Make yourself aware of this over and over again.

5. collect "toxic evidence

No, this is not about detective work. It's more about creating reminders for toxic moments. Your partner will always try to convince you that you are imagining all the negative things, and at some point you may even believe it. However, if you write down your experiences, you will always have something in hand to remind yourself of the toxicity in your relationship.

6. become the "Grey Stone

In many cases, toxic people are outright narcissists. They feast on your negative emotions and the more you make available to them, the more they will exploit the situation. If you try to show as few feelings as possible in front of your partner - no matter what he/she does to you - you will become less and less interesting for him/her. Then it will be much easier for you to free yourself from the toxic clutches.

7. surround yourself with people who are good for you

An toxic relationship not infrequently takes you over completely. Just the idea of what it would be like if they no longer existed leaves you in a hole. You don't know what to do without your partner and feel lost. This is how it is for many people at first, even if a Separation should actually be a relief.

Take the time you need and meet as often as possible with people who give you support and with whom you can feel safe. You will see that it will become easier and easier for you to build your own life without a toxic partner.

letting go of toxic relationship

Ending a toxic relationship: Why is it so hard?

The longer a partnership lasts and the more feelings are involved, the harder it is to end it. With a toxic relationship it is no different. It is often even more difficult for them to pull the ripcord. That sounds contradictory at first, because it should actually be easy to end something that isn't good for you. So what is the problem?

Bind feelings

Emotions connect us emotionally with other people. It is irrelevant whether these emotions are positive or negative. In a toxic relationship, both even meet. It is characterized by love and fear or even hate playing against each other - probably the most intense emotions a person can feel. Suddenly putting an end to them is anything but easy.

Fear of the "After

Ending a toxic relationship: For many, the thought alone is frightening. There is great concern about never finding a new partner, never being able to fall in love properly again, and remaining alone for all time. Maybe you also have children together and you have to wonder how they will be when their parents have separated.

Under certain circumstances it came in your toxic relationship even to the point that you become financially dependent on your partner. This phenomenon occurs quite often in toxic partnerships, because the toxic part exerts pressure until you give in and work less, for example. In this way, he pushes you into a position of dependence, thanks to which he has you in the palm of his hand.

Holding on to the familiar

The longer you've been in a relationship, the more accustomed you've become to togetherness. You have built a life together and if you were to break up now, everything would simply change. That makes for Uncertainty.

What will happen after the breakup? How long will it take you to build a single life that makes you happy? What will it look like? So many questions are suddenly buzzing through your head when you want to end a toxic relationship, and it can be scary.


A toxic partner will specifically attack your Self-esteem on. All the faster come at the thought of a separation Fears whether you will ever be able to cope without him/her and whether you will ever be able to have a new relationship again. Maybe you are also disappointed in yourself that you didn't pull the ripcord much sooner and have already "wasted" so many years on this person.

"Ending the toxic relationship - is it even worth it now?", many sufferers then ask themselves. They think about staying in this situation and letting the toxicity wash over them rather than plunging into single life alone - which they think they might not be able to cope with at all.

How do I end a toxic relationship?

Are you in a toxic relationship Sooner or later you will ask yourself whether you can change your partner or not. Relationship experts agree that your hands are tied. Of course, you can point out to your partner that you are in the Relationship you are unhappy and you can't go on like this. With intensive conversations, you may be able to get him/her to think about it.

However, your partner will only really change if he/she wants to. The Motivation must come from within, not from outside. Only when he/she has understood himself/herself that it is time to change something, can it happen.

When to end a toxic relationship

You don't feel comfortable in the relationship anymore, you are afraid of your partner and you are not sure at all if you really act according to your own will? Then it's clearly time: ending the toxic relationship is the only way. If your partner is pulling the strings so strongly that you can no longer tell if he/she is manipulating you or if you are doing it of your own free will, all alarm bells should be flashing red.

The same applies if you are always afraid that a violent argument will break out as soon as you have done something that your partner has not explicitly allowed you to do. You are an independent person and everyday things should not be something you have to justify or even report to him/her. This is a clear sign that there is not an ounce of trust in your relationship. This means that an important basic building block on which every healthy partnership is based is missing.

Ending a toxic relationship despite love

Ending a toxic relationship despite love is an enormous emotional challenge. Love alone cannot compensate for the profound negative effects of a toxic dynamic. This decision requires strong self-reflection and an awareness that personal growth and well-being lie outside of the harmful relationship. The key is to prioritize your own health and future, supported by networks of friends, family or professional help.

Why is it so difficult to end a toxic relationship?

Ending toxic relationships is often difficult because of emotional attachments, fear of loneliness and the hope of Change have a strong effect. Toxic dynamics can weaken self-esteem, which impairs the ability to make decisions. In addition, factors such as shared obligations or worries about the consequences of a separation also play a role. It takes courage and support to break this cycle and decide for your own well-being.

End a toxic relationship: Detox for your love life!

Toxic relationships are pure poison for your soul. Often these traits creep into the relationship slowly, which is why you may only recognize them late. You can find out whether you are really in a toxic relationship with the help of our Relationship tests out!


Is your relationship healthy?

Find out, Whether your relationship is toxic! Our free relationship quiz will help you see if you're in a harmful relationship - or if everything is in the green.
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Reviewed by Dr. med. Stefan Frädrich

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